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June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was pretending to talk on the phone with my wife just to avoid to speak with my boring coworker. After two awkward minutes of him waiting in front of my desk and me inventing a call, he handed me the disconnected phone cable and left. FML

Today, I was at work talking to an older man. As our conversation ended, he said, "Thank you, ma'am." Then, he quickly stumbled over his words as he said, "I mean, thank you, sir. I meant sir. I think." He gazed at me for a moment in confusion, then darted away. FML

Today, I had to go to therapy for my fear of cats. All the way there, my girlfriend kept making cat noises and scratching at me. FML

#20748338
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38776) - you deserved it (7563)

On 06/26/2013 at 12:42pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my husband farted, grabbed a fan and blew the smell right at me. Disgusted, I reminded him that I’m a lady, not a dude. He burst out laughing and sang, "Dude looks like a lady." FML

#20716353
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39506) - you deserved it (7181)

On 06/09/2013 at 9:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, on the drive to church, I got a nosebleed. Not so bad, until I sneezed and splattered myself and my fiancé with blood, snot, and eventually tears. FML

#20705510
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46434) - you deserved it (4222)

On 06/04/2013 at 1:53pm - love - by BloodyMarry (woman) - United States

Today, I got mugged on the way to my 21st birthday party at a bar. I begged the thug to at least throw me my ID, only to have him laugh and run away singing "happy birthday". FML

#20711068
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55860) - you deserved it (3524)

On 06/07/2013 at 1:14am - money - by ididntevendrinkthatnight - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend found an empty snail shell. I tried messing with him by saying the snail had turned into a slug, like caterpillars turn into butterflies. He quickly replied, "Yeah I know. I'm not a tard, babe." and said he'd been taught all that and more back in school. What the hell? FML

#20741108
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42083) - you deserved it (6335)

On 06/22/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by our kids will be derps (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend announced to everyone at dinner that she was no longer a virgin. This was news to everyone: her parents, siblings, best friend, and me. FML

#20742151
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65244) - you deserved it (4299)

On 06/23/2013 at 2:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I decided to try wearing eyeshadow, even though I'm not that girly. When I asked for help after several failed attempts, my sister walked in and said, "It's easy, just do what I do." She put the makeup on herself and looked amazing. She's eight. FML

#20719423
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47482) - you deserved it (6228)

On 06/11/2013 at 12:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while volunteering at a local museum, I politely told an elderly gentleman to have a nice day. He responded by yelling "NO" and storming off. Everyone looked at me like I was some sort of monster. FML

#20741264
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37862) - you deserved it (2840)

On 06/22/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by me - United States (Ohio)

Today, I attempted to ask a girl out by doing a flash mob and singing for her in the store where she works. Turns out, she suffers from anxiety and the overwhelming amount of attention caused a panic attack. No, I didn't get a date. FML

#20733111
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47386) - you deserved it (19337)

On 06/18/2013 at 11:02am - love - by Well, crap (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, my ten-year-old brother came to visit me in NYC. Within ten minutes of walking on Times Square he had seen a prostitute and a partially-naked man. He now refuses to leave my apartment and screams when I try to drag him out. He's here for the next two weeks. FML

#20744309
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44059) - you deserved it (4380)

On 06/24/2013 at 10:06am - kids - by NYCproblems - United States (New York)

Today, after working at my job for months, I quit. Why? My boss tried to convince me that we are in a secret relationship after he told me he loved me. FML

#20751768
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42233) - you deserved it (2756)

On 06/28/2013 at 1:23am - work - by unknown relationship - United States (Illinois)



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