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June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my husband threw up on me during our wedding vows. FML

#20728616
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53494) - you deserved it (4122)

On 06/16/2013 at 12:54am - love - by fun (man) - United States

Today, my best friend called me a moron for disputing her belief that Canada is in South America. FML

#20729679
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43835) - you deserved it (3878)

On 06/16/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by not a brain cell in sight (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my daughter believed that watching the Big Bang Theory would count as studying for her chemistry final. FML

#20733887
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42624) - you deserved it (6588)

On 06/18/2013 at 7:22pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to mow a penis into our lawn. I guess he forgot my parents are coming over. FML

#20747044
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39745) - you deserved it (4802)

On 06/25/2013 at 7:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML

#20741232
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50025) - you deserved it (11651)

On 06/22/2013 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, at work, I politely asked a patron to be quieter; I was hit in the face. I work in a library. FML

#20750109
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41018) - you deserved it (3488)

On 06/27/2013 at 11:02am - work - by rubgy_lover - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, feeling the need to spice things up in our sex life, I dressed up in my husband's navy uniform jacket, hat, and a pair of heels. When he came into the room, he took one look at me and started laughing uncontrollably. FML

#20702628
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55329) - you deserved it (16822)

On 06/03/2013 at 12:41am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while walking around town, some guy grabbed me from behind, clutched at my nipples, and said, "That's where I always imagined they were." FML

#20746398
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51616) - you deserved it (3895)

On 06/25/2013 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend announced to everyone at dinner that she was no longer a virgin. This was news to everyone: her parents, siblings, best friend, and me. FML

#20742151
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65303) - you deserved it (4301)

On 06/23/2013 at 2:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend got into bed with me and started fooling around. I had a terrible migraine, which she knew, so I asked her to stop because it wasn't helping. She then yelled at me for being "ungrateful" and "selfish", and accused me of secretly being gay. FML

#20725929
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43855) - you deserved it (7050)

On 06/14/2013 at 5:21pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I finally unfriended my roommate's mom on Facebook after months of her commenting on my wall multiple times a day and basically stalking me. After discovering this, she drove to our apartment to demand through hysterical tears that my roommate move out because I can't be trusted. FML

Today, I attempted to ask a girl out by doing a flash mob and singing for her in the store where she works. Turns out, she suffers from anxiety and the overwhelming amount of attention caused a panic attack. No, I didn't get a date. FML

#20733111
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47418) - you deserved it (19344)

On 06/18/2013 at 11:02am - love - by Well, crap (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, I went out on a date with a girl. Everything was going well until I shared how my family was affected by the 2010 earthquake in Haiti. She immediately got up and left, calling me a liar. Apparently, I'm "too cute" to be of Haitian descent. What the hell? FML



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