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June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, it was the second anniversary of the day I met my girlfriend. I had to go to work, but I set an engagement ring and a letter on my pillow for when she woke up, and left breakfast for her on the counter. When I got home, she and all of her things were gone. FML

#20742451
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60834) - you deserved it (8978)

On 06/23/2013 at 10:42am - love - by foreveralone (man) - United States

Today, I found out why my daughter eats so many sugary baked goods. According to her, when you bake things, all the sugar and calories are "released" and so you can't gain weight from it. It seems I raised a moron. FML

#20713749
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47060) - you deserved it (9132)

On 06/08/2013 at 3:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boss gave me an autographed photo of himself after he heard that I think he's intimidatingly attractive. FML

#20743881
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39533) - you deserved it (9054)

On 06/24/2013 at 1:20am - work - by myfavoritesgouda (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to get an HPV vaccine after being convinced to by my mom. I stayed in the waiting room afterwards, because the vaccine has the possible side-effect of causing fainting. I didn't faint; instead, I spent the next 15 minutes giggling uncontrollably like a psycho. FML

#20719679
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45113) - you deserved it (5376)

On 06/11/2013 at 2:41pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my daughter believed that watching the Big Bang Theory would count as studying for her chemistry final. FML

#20733887
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44743) - you deserved it (6799)

On 06/18/2013 at 7:22pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I decided to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. My dad just looked him dead in the eyes and said, "How much did she pay you? I doubt it was enough." FML

#20723714
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47195) - you deserved it (3585)

On 06/13/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I had to walk home in the rain because my mom didn't want to get her new car wet. FML

#20705347
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59455) - you deserved it (3854)

On 06/04/2013 at 12:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, feeling the need to spice things up in our sex life, I dressed up in my husband's navy uniform jacket, hat, and a pair of heels. When he came into the room, he took one look at me and started laughing uncontrollably. FML

#20702628
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58200) - you deserved it (17581)

On 06/03/2013 at 12:41am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend found an empty snail shell. I tried messing with him by saying the snail had turned into a slug, like caterpillars turn into butterflies. He quickly replied, "Yeah I know. I'm not a tard, babe." and said he'd been taught all that and more back in school. What the hell? FML

#20741108
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44815) - you deserved it (6636)

On 06/22/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by our kids will be derps (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I decided to try wearing eyeshadow, even though I'm not that girly. When I asked for help after several failed attempts, my sister walked in and said, "It's easy, just do what I do." She put the makeup on herself and looked amazing. She's eight. FML

#20719423
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50371) - you deserved it (6539)

On 06/11/2013 at 12:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at work talking to an older man. As our conversation ended, he said, "Thank you, ma'am." Then, he quickly stumbled over his words as he said, "I mean, thank you, sir. I meant sir. I think." He gazed at me for a moment in confusion, then darted away. FML

Today, my girlfriend kicked me out for bringing up the idea of her maybe giving me a blowjob someday. According to her, it's "demeaning" and "sick". She doesn't seem to have a problem always making me go down on her for ages as a condition for having sex with me, though. FML

#20754518
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56809) - you deserved it (9103)

On 06/29/2013 at 3:58pm - intimacy - by patriarchal apparently (man) - Saint Lucia

Today, my husband of 3 years learned that he's going to be a father. No, I'm not pregnant. FML

#20726687
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65516) - you deserved it (4041)

On 06/15/2013 at 12:28am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)



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