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June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML

#20741232
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51212) - you deserved it (11904)

On 06/22/2013 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to mow a penis into our lawn. I guess he forgot my parents are coming over. FML

#20747044
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39920) - you deserved it (4815)

On 06/25/2013 at 7:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I've come to the conclusion that my phone addiction is getting out of control after I typed my PIN code into the microwave. FML

#20754108
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25250) - you deserved it (35922)

On 06/29/2013 at 10:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that the girl I've been talking to online and sending certain pictures to is actually my ex's new boyfriend. He ended up telling me he'd just wanted to see how he compared to me down below because my ex refused to go into detail about it. FML

#20698485
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47543) - you deserved it (22431)

On 06/01/2013 at 12:03am - intimacy - by WTF (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend lost his temper with me and complained that my "constant" apologies for upsetting him drive him insane, and without thinking, I said I was sorry. He hung up and I haven't heard from him since. FML

#20705829
173 comments

Today, I was on my bike. As I'm rolling through an intersection, some asshat in a pickup runs the red light and hits me. Instead of getting out and helping me, the guy hops out, takes a look at me lying in the street, steals my hat and drives off. That was my favorite hat. FML

#20720945
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58248) - you deserved it (4145)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:10am - misc - by Are you f*cking kidding me (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, at my job at my tattoo parlor, yet another client offered to pay for his tattoo by "letting" me sleep with him. This client happens to be my boyfriend's best friend, whose girlfriend is having me tattoo his name on her wrist next week. FML

#20735377
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49597) - you deserved it (3673)

On 06/19/2013 at 2:46pm - work - by notkatvond (woman) - United States

Today, my parents decided they are going to come with me on my first date. FML

#20734991
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55928) - you deserved it (4126)

On 06/19/2013 at 10:39am - misc - by Overprotected (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I talked about our past relationships. He said he broke up with his last girlfriend because she was "too smart" for him, and that he felt better being with someone who "doesn't have too many lights on upstairs, if you know what I mean." FML

#20729746
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49560) - you deserved it (5723)

On 06/16/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by ... (woman) - South Africa (Eastern Cape)

Today, my girlfriend announced to everyone at dinner that she was no longer a virgin. This was news to everyone: her parents, siblings, best friend, and me. FML

#20742151
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66850) - you deserved it (4421)

On 06/23/2013 at 2:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my husband decided he would rather rage-wank to my mum's Facebook profile picture than make love to me. FML

#20741061
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45122) - you deserved it (4863)

On 06/22/2013 at 2:54pm - love - by talktothefacecausethehandswanking (woman) - Korea, Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, my drunk dad decided to wake me up by lobbing our cat directly into my now-mauled face. FML

#20739340
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40412) - you deserved it (2854)

On 06/21/2013 at 4:38pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, my boyfriend found an empty snail shell. I tried messing with him by saying the snail had turned into a slug, like caterpillars turn into butterflies. He quickly replied, "Yeah I know. I'm not a tard, babe." and said he'd been taught all that and more back in school. What the hell? FML

#20741108
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42741) - you deserved it (6413)

On 06/22/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by our kids will be derps (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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