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June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mother came into my workplace to wail on me for "ruining our family's reputation" because I got a girl pregnant. I've been married to the "girl" for 8 years. FML

#20720453
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58457) - you deserved it (2882)

On 06/11/2013 at 10:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, after years of researching and saving money, I got a pet fox. I was able to enjoy the majesty of the animal for three hours before it burrowed under the fence and ran away. FML

#20717566
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34238) - you deserved it (50256)

On 06/10/2013 at 2:01pm - animals - by SadFoxLady (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my daughter found out what happens when my husband watches Mythbusters and doesn't heed the disclaimer to "Not try this at home." He feels bad about her cut face, but says he's proud he can throw a playing card that hard. FML

Today, I came back from the doctor after having been diagnosed with a UTI. My dad now won't shut up about it, saying stuff like, "You must be 'pissed'", "Looks like 'urine' a bit of pain", and "'Urea'-lly need some antibiotics, son", all while making obnoxious finger quotes in the air. FML

#20739103
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41158) - you deserved it (4598)

On 06/21/2013 at 2:05pm - health - by assholedad (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my brother got one of those water-vapour cigarettes. I was playing around with it, and my neighbour saw me through the window. She came over to yell at my parents about my "addiction" to marijuana. When my parents told her to get lost, she called the cops and tried to get me arrested. FML

Today, while using a urinal in a very busy mall bathroom, another man unzipped his pants and attempted to use the same one as me. FML

#20751757
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49195) - you deserved it (2803)

On 06/28/2013 at 1:16am - health - by not cool (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got to drive my mom's car. I'd recently watched the new Fast and Furious movie, I thought it'd be fun to drift around a few corners. I ended up smashing straight into someone's front yard. FML

#20712154
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18960) - you deserved it (106664)

On 06/07/2013 at 6:00pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend threw out my old voicemail recorder, thinking it was junk. My father passed away years ago. I kept a recording of the last voicemail he'd left me on it so I'd always remember his voice. FML

#20718168
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74039) - you deserved it (3676)

On 06/10/2013 at 7:35pm - misc - by Upset (woman) - United States

Today, I went to a water park with a group of friends. As I went down the water slide, some complete turd waffle of a kid in the water kicked his leg out in line with my crotch. The moment I hit the bottom was the moment I think I became sterile. FML

#20709749
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41321) - you deserved it (3052)

On 06/06/2013 at 2:24pm - health - by fuck kids (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I lost my virginity. Not only did my parents somehow find out, they posted about it on Facebook. FML

#20730822
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48800) - you deserved it (10169)

On 06/17/2013 at 1:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at work, a customer came in and ordered a "Butterbeer Frappuccino." When I said we serve no such thing, she yelled at me for "lying" to her, saying she knew about our "secret menu." She ended up complaining to my manager and demanded that he fire me. FML

#20714023
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50952) - you deserved it (3856)

On 06/08/2013 at 6:20pm - work - by I hate my job (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to my bratty younger sister cutting through my hair with a pair of scissors. I now look like a freak, and my mum bitched me out for being angry, all because my sister claimed she'd been sleep-walking. Her demented smirk said otherwise. FML

#20729503
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48452) - you deserved it (2726)

On 06/16/2013 at 2:49pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I found out that my parents were artists when they met. My mom said that I was one of their best projects yet. My sister, hearing what my mother said, broke my week-old PS3 in a rage. FML

#20699851
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47274) - you deserved it (3381)

On 06/01/2013 at 7:31pm - misc - by H1dd3n (man) - United States (California)



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