Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while walking around town, some guy grabbed me from behind, clutched at my nipples, and said, "That's where I always imagined they were." FML

#20746398
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51851) - you deserved it (3912)

On 06/25/2013 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my band and I played at our first ever real gig. Our drummer turned up high out of his damn mind. After ruining our act with his godawful performance, he screamed "HELL YEAH!" then ran and dove off the stage into a nearly non-existent audience. We were told to never come back. FML

#20711923
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49347) - you deserved it (5195)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:32pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out my old DVD player is jealous of my Blu-ray player. It fell from the top of my closet and hit me in the head. FML

#20747890
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35864) - you deserved it (7177)

On 06/26/2013 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my drunk dad decided to wake me up by lobbing our cat directly into my now-mauled face. FML

#20739340
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40490) - you deserved it (2860)

On 06/21/2013 at 4:38pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, my boyfriend found an empty snail shell. I tried messing with him by saying the snail had turned into a slug, like caterpillars turn into butterflies. He quickly replied, "Yeah I know. I'm not a tard, babe." and said he'd been taught all that and more back in school. What the hell? FML

#20741108
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42850) - you deserved it (6420)

On 06/22/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by our kids will be derps (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to mow a penis into our lawn. I guess he forgot my parents are coming over. FML

#20747044
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42082) - you deserved it (5045)

On 06/25/2013 at 7:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I've come to the conclusion that my phone addiction is getting out of control after I typed my PIN code into the microwave. FML

#20754108
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25282) - you deserved it (35988)

On 06/29/2013 at 10:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that the girl I've been talking to online and sending certain pictures to is actually my ex's new boyfriend. He ended up telling me he'd just wanted to see how he compared to me down below because my ex refused to go into detail about it. FML

#20698485
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47636) - you deserved it (22462)

On 06/01/2013 at 12:03am - intimacy - by WTF (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend lost his temper with me and complained that my "constant" apologies for upsetting him drive him insane, and without thinking, I said I was sorry. He hung up and I haven't heard from him since. FML

#20705829
173 comments

Today, at my job at my tattoo parlor, yet another client offered to pay for his tattoo by "letting" me sleep with him. This client happens to be my boyfriend's best friend, whose girlfriend is having me tattoo his name on her wrist next week. FML

#20735377
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49699) - you deserved it (3677)

On 06/19/2013 at 2:46pm - work - by notkatvond (woman) - United States

Today, my parents decided they are going to come with me on my first date. FML

#20734991
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57996) - you deserved it (4318)

On 06/19/2013 at 10:39am - misc - by Overprotected (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend announced to everyone at dinner that she was no longer a virgin. This was news to everyone: her parents, siblings, best friend, and me. FML

#20742151
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66998) - you deserved it (4426)

On 06/23/2013 at 2:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my husband decided he would rather rage-wank to my mum's Facebook profile picture than make love to me. FML

#20741061
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45216) - you deserved it (4870)

On 06/22/2013 at 2:54pm - love - by talktothefacecausethehandswanking (woman) - Korea, Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: