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June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while life-guarding in a 55+ community, I greeted a man by saying: "Good morning Sir!" He responded with, "Cut the shit kid, I'm not that fucking old." FML

#20746882
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36590) - you deserved it (5198)

On 06/25/2013 at 5:45pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my parents decided they are going to come with me on my first date. FML

#20734991
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54305) - you deserved it (3997)

On 06/19/2013 at 10:39am - misc - by Overprotected (woman) - United States

Today, I was on my bike. As I'm rolling through an intersection, some asshat in a pickup runs the red light and hits me. Instead of getting out and helping me, the guy hops out, takes a look at me lying in the street, steals my hat and drives off. That was my favorite hat. FML

#20720945
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54561) - you deserved it (3826)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:10am - misc - by Are you f*cking kidding me (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my husband threw up on me during our wedding vows. FML

#20728616
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51304) - you deserved it (3909)

On 06/16/2013 at 12:54am - love - by fun (man) - United States

Today, my daughter believed that watching the Big Bang Theory would count as studying for her chemistry final. FML

#20733887
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39492) - you deserved it (6220)

On 06/18/2013 at 7:22pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to mow a penis into our lawn. I guess he forgot my parents are coming over. FML

#20747044
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36393) - you deserved it (4258)

On 06/25/2013 at 7:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after spending four hours cooking food for a special family dinner, I went to take a shower before they arrived. I came back out less than twenty minutes later to find most of the food gone, and a very guilty-looking puppy. FML

Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML

#20741232
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47216) - you deserved it (10909)

On 06/22/2013 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while at my aunt's funeral, my grandma who has terrible memory loss asked me whose funeral we were at. I had to explain to her that her daughter had died. FML

#20702720
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77789) - you deserved it (3223)

On 06/03/2013 at 1:32am - misc - by Me - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that the girl I've been talking to online and sending certain pictures to is actually my ex's new boyfriend. He ended up telling me he'd just wanted to see how he compared to me down below because my ex refused to go into detail about it. FML

#20698485
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45459) - you deserved it (21681)

On 06/01/2013 at 12:03am - intimacy - by WTF (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at my job at my tattoo parlor, yet another client offered to pay for his tattoo by "letting" me sleep with him. This client happens to be my boyfriend's best friend, whose girlfriend is having me tattoo his name on her wrist next week. FML

#20735377
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47925) - you deserved it (3531)

On 06/19/2013 at 2:46pm - work - by notkatvond (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I talked about our past relationships. He said he broke up with his last girlfriend because she was "too smart" for him, and that he felt better being with someone who "doesn't have too many lights on upstairs, if you know what I mean." FML

#20729746
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47168) - you deserved it (5447)

On 06/16/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by ... (woman) - South Africa (Eastern Cape)

Today, my best friend called me a moron for disputing her belief that Canada is in South America. FML

#20729679
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41207) - you deserved it (3651)

On 06/16/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by not a brain cell in sight (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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