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May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

TODAY, MY FAMILY FLEW OUT TO SURPRISE MY GRANDMA FOR HER 70TH BIRTHDAY!! WHEN WE ARRIVD, SHE AN MY GRANDPA WERE BOTH SITTING ON THE COUCH, HIGH, SMOKING A JOINT!! FML

#20649343
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50284) - you deserved it (11350)

On 05/08/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commentd on what the actors were doing!! I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour!! FML

#20660939
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79756) - you deserved it (5501)

On 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm - intimacy - by more than I wanted to know (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)

Today, a package was delivered to my house, addressed to me, clerely marked "sexual health products". Inside were condoms, birth control pills, and an invoice made out to me. My parents went ballistic and grounded me. Whoever staged this "hilarious" prank: well played, asshole. FML

#20684142
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67520) - you deserved it (5656)

On 05/24/2013 at 5:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Iceland (Eyjafjardarsysla)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home fir the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heatd argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". fat FML

#20668913
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47986) - you deserved it (3368)

On 05/17/2013 at 11:52am - misc - by Sonofa - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I brought girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to parents, until we found mother waving around a wooden sword, and father trying to shove sister into the dryer. FML

#20671220
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45570) - you deserved it (4830)

On 05/18/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Mr_poole (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out I'm actually the uncle of my children. All four of them. FML

#20662485
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98876) - you deserved it (5986)

On 05/14/2013 at 3:13am - kids - by Liferuinedforever (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)

Today, as I was lying on my bed with one of my arms hanging from the side, I felt something sniff my hand from underneath . I don't have any pets . FML

#20688489
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57486) - you deserved it (3957)

On 05/27/2013 at 12:05am - animals - by scared-straight - United States

Today, I caugt ma 14-year-old daugter stealing alcool from me. After berating er 4 alf-an-our I finally said, "At least your not doing drugs." Se gave me a guilty smile an seepisly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML

#20640404
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64076) - you deserved it (14082)

On 05/04/2013 at 3:22am - kids - by prostitott -

Today... I learnd if u type my full name in Google Images... the 3rd thing that comes up is a nakd woman in ropes. Someone on Pornhub thought it was smart to comment that the girl looks just like me. She does. Now my parents think I'm a porn star... and most people at school stoppd talking to me. FML

#20662282
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65473) - you deserved it (5137)

On 05/14/2013 at 12:15am - intimacy - by magomag (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers!! As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions fir his dish, he warned us to be ready fir the "typical reactions"!! Everyone teared up!! Meanwhile, I popped a boner!! So much fir typical!! FML

#20667353
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52052) - you deserved it (8943)

On 05/16/2013 at 4:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, A Man Asked About Fising In Te Riveric Flows Besideere I Work. I Said U Could, But Anyting U Caugt Under 5 Inces As To Be Trown Back. His Wife Ten Said, "Wis I Knew Tat Before I Married Im." I Started To Laug. Te Man Almost Cried And Complained To My Boss. Mega FML

#20688045
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45229) - you deserved it (7685)

On 05/26/2013 at 8:40pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

TODAY, I WENT TO THERAPY. I STARTD TALKING ABOUT MAH CHILDHOOD AND MAH LIFE. BY THE TIME THE SESSION WAS OVER MAH THERAPIST WAS CRYING. BIG FAT FML

#20651461
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61759) - you deserved it (3945)

On 05/09/2013 at 1:30am - health - by Screwed Up (man) - United States



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