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May 2013

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Today, a client refused to pay after I mowed her lawn. Her reasoning? I had entered her basement "without permission." I require on-site equipment be provided, and she kept her mower in her basement. I only knew it was in the basement because she'd showed me, and told me where the key was. FML

#20653784
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49888) - you deserved it (3145)

On 05/10/2013 at 4:24am - work - by Wealthyparrot (man) - United States

Today, I learned that binding my stomach with duct tape isn't worth it to look thin. I also learned the even worse part when I shrieked more loudly than I should've when I tried to discreetly rip it off in history class. FML

Today, while paying a $60 tab on drinks for a girl, a guy grabs the money-clip out of my hand and runs. I start to chase after him; the girl trips me, then runs after him. The bartender calls the cops; not to catch the thieves, but to report me for not paying. FML

#20634407
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52209) - you deserved it (4406)

On 05/01/2013 at 6:30am - money - by Alexman1985 -

Today, at work, my boss made me go outside and wash people's cars for free. I work at Verizon. FML

#20677176
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41689) - you deserved it (3985)

On 05/21/2013 at 2:31am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my manager called me in to tell me I got the promotion I've been hoping for. He then said that since I didn't look excited about it he might have to rethink it. I was too busy concentrating on holding in diarrhea. FML

#20645244
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53098) - you deserved it (4219)

On 05/06/2013 at 11:25am - work - by perfecttiming (man) - United States (California)

Today, after coming home from school, I found that two birds have made a nest above the porch light. This wouldn't be a problem if they stopped attacking me every time I get within 5 feet of them. FML

#20663096
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37113) - you deserved it (3200)

On 05/14/2013 at 3:11pm - animals - by Locked Out - United States

Today, while answering an "anonymous" survey about how to keep my school drug free, I told them they should stop drug testing the kids that they know don't do drugs and test the sketchier ones. They in turn drug tested me. FML

#20652571
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38499) - you deserved it (13700)

On 05/09/2013 at 6:22pm - misc - by drug testing - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I decided I would try this feature on my banking app which lets me deposit checks by sending a picture of it. The instructions say to rip the check after depositing. The deposit didn't work and now I've got a ripped up paycheck. FML

#20650425
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24267) - you deserved it (49092)

On 05/08/2013 at 6:21pm - money - by Checkless chick - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I cancelled our date tonight. I cancelled because I had a seizure and was taken to the hospital. FML

#20654794
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56934) - you deserved it (3249)

On 05/10/2013 at 6:58pm - health - by Chia (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, and throughout the past week, my electricity, water, cable, and Internet were progressively shut off. Why? Because my deranged mother-in-law has been stealing the money orders I use to pay my bills out of my mailbox. She also stole the late notices because she didn't want me to be "mad". FML

#20678301
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46778) - you deserved it (2982)

On 05/21/2013 at 6:47pm - money - by LightsOut - United States (Florida)

Today, I stepped out of the kitchen to yell at my kids for running in the house. I had just mopped the floor, and did not want them to fall. I fell while yelling and twisted my ankle. At least they know it's dangerous now. FML

#20667457
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39687) - you deserved it (8871)

On 05/16/2013 at 5:50pm - kids - by meepdaleap - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was visiting my new in-laws for the first time. During an awkward silence, I took my phone and figured I'd send my friend a text jokingly saying "Mayday, mayday! Somebody save me!" My mood lightened up a little and I felt quite well until my mother-in-law's phone beeped. Yep. FML

#20690847
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22693) - you deserved it (43523)

On 05/28/2013 at 7:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I lent a pair of expensive headphones to a "friend" for the weekend. As a thank-you, he bought me a soda. He moved this weekend, taking the headphones with him. I lost a $250 pair of headphones for a $1 soda. FML

#20672107
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40275) - you deserved it (19591)

On 05/19/2013 at 12:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)



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