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May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be funny to go to the Apple store and log me on to Facebook on every single computer. FML

#20695876
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46006) - you deserved it (8640)

On 05/30/2013 at 7:06pm - love - by Terminator101101 - United States (Nevada)

Today, I realized my family is the textbook definition of redneck after listening to my grandpa threaten to smash with an excavator the trailer that my uncle lives in behind our house if he didn't return the set of tires he had stolen and pawned from my grandpa's garage. FML

#20683275
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36126) - you deserved it (3386)

On 05/24/2013 at 3:06am - misc - by redneckfamily - United States (Washington)

Today, from the balcony of my apartment, I watched helplessly as a teen came along and peed through my car's open window. FML

#20634162
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43242) - you deserved it (11177)

On 05/01/2013 at 12:44am - kids - by Sean - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was lectured by my mother for staying out until 2 am because I went to a gig last night. I was told I was irresponsible and made to feel ashamed. Not only do I live on my own and pay my bills, but I'm almost 30. This is a regular occurrence. FML

Today, I waxed my upper lip hair. My boyfriend later told me that he missed my mustache rubbing onto his. FML

#20689895
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46151) - you deserved it (5528)

On 05/27/2013 at 7:10pm - love - by mustache girl - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because she apparently saw me making out with her sister. She doesn't even have a sister. FML

#20671163
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51416) - you deserved it (4354)

On 05/18/2013 at 3:34pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I took a nap, and I had a dream that my ex-girlfriend got back together with me. I woke up in a great mood. When I went back to bed, I dreamed that she broke up with me, again. FML

#20670246
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43626) - you deserved it (5701)

On 05/18/2013 at 1:22am - love - by Sarsippius -

Today, I got a new cat. It was fine for a couple of hours until it gave birth in my kitchen. The seller claims to have no idea that it was pregnant. Now I have to take care of 7 cats instead of 2. FML

#20676137
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38462) - you deserved it (6197)

On 05/20/2013 at 7:23pm - animals - by catcraze - United States (Colorado)

Today, I listened to my elderly bachelor neighbor moan, "Oh, kitty, kitty, kitty! Oh kitty!" for over half-an-hour before he wandered out on his balcony in wet, tight white underwear to water his plant. This is the fifth time this week, and I still don't know what on earth he's doing. FML

#20675279
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40729) - you deserved it (3088)

On 05/20/2013 at 11:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after months of being pestered to do so, I finally read the first Harry Potter book. I hated it. Upon hearing this, my girlfriend posted the fact on Facebook, where I immediately received tons of abuse and eventual shunning by my friends, family, and coworkers. My girlfriend just laughed. FML

#20683433
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34989) - you deserved it (41844)

On 05/24/2013 at 8:26am - misc - by obnum - United States (New York)

Today, as with every day, I had to endure my roommate talking to his wife in a baby voice. This is a grown man, who has had a beard since junior high, who literally talks to her like you would a puppy or a baby. Someone kill me. FML

Today, I finally got the courage to make a move on the guy I've been crushing on. I asked him if he would like to go see a movie with me. He answered, "Sorry, I've already seen it." I didn't even mention any particular movie. FML

#20651541
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53510) - you deserved it (3955)

On 05/09/2013 at 3:01am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML

#20668938
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41066) - you deserved it (5107)

On 05/17/2013 at 12:16pm - misc - by jessinono (woman) - United States



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