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May 2013

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Today, I decided to treat myself to a pedicure ahead of my cousin's wedding. The woman doing my nails asked if I wanted my toe hairs trimmed. I was so taken aback and embarrassed that I said yes. They charged me extra. FML

#20679773
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36074) - you deserved it (12772)

On 05/22/2013 at 1:40pm - misc - by hobbit - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got to wash my ex-wife's dishes at her apartment while her new boyfriend played with my daughter in the living room. FML

#20689927
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52610) - you deserved it (11403)

On 05/27/2013 at 7:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after a sleepless night, I fell asleep at my work desk. When I awoke, I found my co-workers had duct taped me to my chair. I was yelling at them to untape me, when our boss came in, scolded me for fucking about on the job, and left without saying a word to my colleagues. FML

#20683635
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34124) - you deserved it (11407)

On 05/24/2013 at 12:08pm - work - by anthony512 (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I was ditched by the guy I flew over two thousand miles to see. His excuse? "I'm just tired. I want to go home and sleep" Later, he checked in at a bar right down the street from the hotel on Facebook. FML

#20681237
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40581) - you deserved it (5057)

On 05/23/2013 at 3:13am - love - by phoenixditch - United States (Virginia)

Today, after calling the insurance plan for my new iPhone a "huge waste of money", I promptly dropped it in the store while trying to put it into my pocket, cracking the screen. FML

#20693016
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22240) - you deserved it (46916)

On 05/29/2013 at 12:24pm - money - by sammarli530 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was feeling down about being the only single person out of a group of eight friends. Out of desperation, I made up "Jonny", a hot fitness instructor whom I recently hooked up with. Now "Jonny" and I have been invited to a friends' night out. FML

#20659041
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18400) - you deserved it (67663)

On 05/12/2013 at 5:09pm - love - by forever alone - United Kingdom

Today, after being nearly homeless and couch-hopping for the last few months, I finally signed a 1-year lease. When I got home, I was surprised to see a picture of my new complex on the front page of the newspaper. It turns out that they are fighting a serious bedbug infestation. FML

#20633909
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41862) - you deserved it (3385)

On 04/30/2013 at 10:50pm - misc - by creepycrawley247 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my partner and I were cuddling on the couch, watching TV when she smiled and murmured, "You smell like my dad." FML

#20688959
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39340) - you deserved it (4531)

On 05/27/2013 at 8:39am - misc - by docwinters (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, the woman I babysat for blamed me for the cut on her son's face, and fired me with no pay for not looking after him properly. He already had the cut when I arrived. FML

#20652046
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46790) - you deserved it (2784)

On 05/09/2013 at 1:44pm - kids - by rachelllynne - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, while at a concert, I stepped into a restroom to use my nasal spray since my allergies were acting up. Apparently, someone thought that I had been snorting coke in the stall. I was escorted outside and had to wait for the cops until I could explain everything. I missed the headliner. FML

#20677338
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43196) - you deserved it (3060)

On 05/21/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to my dad emptying a water bottle on my head, because I needed to "get up for school" or I'd be late. FML

#20662590
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30377) - you deserved it (22955)

On 05/14/2013 at 7:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I called my fiancé just to tell him how much I love him, as a sweet gesture. He yelled at me for interrupting his video game and blamed my "neediness" on the fact that I'm menstruating. FML

#20684824
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42915) - you deserved it (7729)

On 05/25/2013 at 12:40am - love - by BellinaNico (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I called my mother to tell her that I got engaged. In the 15 minute conversation that followed, 13 were spent listening to how this is going to affect her. FML

#20665269
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40439) - you deserved it (2982)

On 05/15/2013 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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