Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I gave my boss a gift card as a late birthday present, since I wasn't in the office on his actual birthday. He accused me of trying to bribe my way to a promotion, and suspended me on the spot. FML

#20660668
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39786) - you deserved it (3955)

On 05/13/2013 at 12:01pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after calling the insurance plan for my new iPhone a "huge waste of money", I promptly dropped it in the store while trying to put it into my pocket, cracking the screen. FML

#20693016
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23116) - you deserved it (48522)

On 05/29/2013 at 12:24pm - money - by sammarli530 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up to my dad emptying a water bottle on my head, because I needed to "get up for school" or I'd be late. FML

#20662590
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31922) - you deserved it (23649)

On 05/14/2013 at 7:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my friend told me she'd lost her notebook filled with crucial notes for our finals. She asked if she could borrow mine and copy my notes. She then lost my notebook too. FML

#20669510
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43037) - you deserved it (10859)

On 05/17/2013 at 6:28pm - misc - by well great. - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I got to wash my ex-wife's dishes at her apartment while her new boyfriend played with my daughter in the living room. FML

#20689927
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53526) - you deserved it (11627)

On 05/27/2013 at 7:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after a sleepless night, I fell asleep at my work desk. When I awoke, I found my co-workers had duct taped me to my chair. I was yelling at them to untape me, when our boss came in, scolded me for fucking about on the job, and left without saying a word to my colleagues. FML

#20683635
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34286) - you deserved it (11455)

On 05/24/2013 at 12:08pm - work - by anthony512 (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I was ditched by the guy I flew over two thousand miles to see. His excuse? "I'm just tired. I want to go home and sleep" Later, he checked in at a bar right down the street from the hotel on Facebook. FML

#20681237
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40748) - you deserved it (5072)

On 05/23/2013 at 3:13am - love - by phoenixditch - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was torn from my car and slammed against the hood because a canister of window-cleaning wipes I keep in my glove compartment apparently looks vaguely like a pipe-bomb. My lawyer agreed with the cops, and won't handle the "excessive force" case I threatened the police with. FML

#20683298
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43232) - you deserved it (4099)

On 05/24/2013 at 3:42am - misc - by JDziewaltowski (man) - United States

Today, after being nearly homeless and couch-hopping for the last few months, I finally signed a 1-year lease. When I got home, I was surprised to see a picture of my new complex on the front page of the newspaper. It turns out that they are fighting a serious bedbug infestation. FML

#20633909
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42035) - you deserved it (3394)

On 04/30/2013 at 10:50pm - misc - by creepycrawley247 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I called my mother to tell her that I got engaged. In the 15 minute conversation that followed, 13 were spent listening to how this is going to affect her. FML

#20665269
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41716) - you deserved it (3073)

On 05/15/2013 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I called my fiancé just to tell him how much I love him, as a sweet gesture. He yelled at me for interrupting his video game and blamed my "neediness" on the fact that I'm menstruating. FML

#20684824
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43276) - you deserved it (7773)

On 05/25/2013 at 12:40am - love - by BellinaNico (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was feeling down about being the only single person out of a group of eight friends. Out of desperation, I made up "Jonny", a hot fitness instructor whom I recently hooked up with. Now "Jonny" and I have been invited to a friends' night out. FML

#20659041
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18894) - you deserved it (69106)

On 05/12/2013 at 5:09pm - love - by forever alone - United Kingdom

Today, I did my small part to help the environment by hanging my clothes outside to dry rather than using the dryer. The birds showed their appreciation by crapping on the majority of my clothes. FML

#20647651
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42652) - you deserved it (12611)

On 05/07/2013 at 1:10pm - animals - by hitchcock2013 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • Essa's illustrated FML
  • Yesterday was labor day in the US. FML is international, and and specifically US-centric, but we still sat around doing nothing because we'll take any excuse to do anything. We'll endorse any national…

Friday 1 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: