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May 2013

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Today, a client refused to pay after I mowed her lawn. Her reasoning? I had entered her basement "without permission." I require on-site equipment be provided, and she kept her mower in her basement. I only knew it was in the basement because she'd showed me, and told me where the key was. FML

#20653784
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53640) - you deserved it (3380)

On 05/10/2013 at 4:24am - work - by Wealthyparrot (man) - United States

Today, while sitting at a red light with my window down, the asshat next to me flicked his still-lit cigarette away. It landed in my car and wedged between me and my seat. It burned a hole in my shirt and my seat, and burned my back and hair. FML

#20665470
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48518) - you deserved it (3335)

On 05/15/2013 at 5:47pm - work - by Seriously? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided I would try this feature on my banking app which lets me deposit checks by sending a picture of it. The instructions say to rip the check after depositing. The deposit didn't work and now I've got a ripped up paycheck. FML

#20650425
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26212) - you deserved it (52560)

On 05/08/2013 at 6:21pm - money - by Checkless chick - United States

Today, I was at my aunt and uncle's house. I went to the bathroom and after I washed my hands, I took a Q-tip out of the carton to clean my ears. When I reached for a second one, I noticed that every Q-tip in the carton was actually already used. FML

#20643700
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48415) - you deserved it (7971)

On 05/05/2013 at 7:10pm - health - by grossed out - United States (Illinois)

Today I returned home after a semester at university. I guess I did too good a job of getting into shape as my parents phoned the police, thinking I was a burglar. FML

#20679356
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42293) - you deserved it (3693)

On 05/22/2013 at 5:44am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was lectured by my mother for staying out until 2 am because I went to a gig last night. I was told I was irresponsible and made to feel ashamed. Not only do I live on my own and pay my bills, but I'm almost 30. This is a regular occurrence. FML

Today, it was my very last day teaching my dance class. After the class ended, the owner of the studio started clapping and told all my students to give me a hug. No one hugged me. No one. FML

#20691616
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46977) - you deserved it (5436)

On 05/28/2013 at 6:14pm - work - by funnygirl018 - United States

Today, my co-worker and I played a game where we give each other the bird in whatever creative manner we could come up with. Deciding to be sneaky, I hid behind a wall with my middle finger up as I heard him walking into the office. It was my boss. FML

#20635309
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17391) - you deserved it (39014)

On 05/01/2013 at 5:48pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I awoke from a dream that I'd found an Arco gas station that had regular gas for $3.38. I actually went looking for it. FML

#20679582
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40721) - you deserved it (10453)

On 05/22/2013 at 10:51am - money - by maarkblack (man) - United States

Today, I went to the Doctor's for a mole my husband had said was, "growing and changing color". It turned out to be a wood tick. My husband knew, but said it was too "icky" to take off himself. FML

#20692458
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48826) - you deserved it (7626)

On 05/29/2013 at 12:32am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I gave my boyfriend our festival tickets to keep hold of while I excitedly went home to get ready. He took someone else. FML

#20693277
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54610) - you deserved it (5548)

On 05/29/2013 at 3:11pm - misc - by festival virgin - United Kingdom

Today, I had to listen to yet another delusional fuckface at school bitch about how a girl he's interested in put him in the "friend-zone". I really couldn't focus on my work, so I tried to shut him up by saying he's an idiot, not least because she already has a boyfriend. I now have a black eye. FML

#20667310
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38450) - you deserved it (16824)

On 05/16/2013 at 4:31pm - health - by getafucktoysomewhereelsedude (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my parents scoured my browser history, certain that I have a hidden Facebook account that I'm using to get up to no good. Their reasoning was that there's no way my only friends are my relatives and that all I can post about is about the weather. FML

#20655587
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43700) - you deserved it (7260)

On 05/11/2013 at 1:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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