Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got a mosquito bite inside my cast. I slipped a ruler into it and started scratching to relieve the itch. Part of the ruler ended up snapping off inside. FML

#20669324
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41916) - you deserved it (14394)

On 05/17/2013 at 4:49pm - health - by sprainedankle - Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad)

Today, I went to visit my sister, who lives four hours away from me. I'd only just sat down on their couch when her husband told me I needed to leave so they could have sex. FML

#20666985
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44439) - you deserved it (3265)

On 05/16/2013 at 12:16pm - misc - by earplugsplease (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I received a slip through my door saying that the package I'd ordered couldn't be delivered today because no-one was home to sign for it. I got the slip just in time to watch the guy who put it through my letterbox get in his van, look me in the eye and drive off. FML

#20670426
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47105) - you deserved it (3472)

On 05/18/2013 at 5:41am - misc - by JACKxRAWR (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I'm planning my big sister's wedding. My long-term, live-in boyfriend walked by and saw me looking at the wedding tab on Pinterest, smirked, and said, "Don't get your hopes up." I had. FML

#20674650
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49711) - you deserved it (7444)

On 05/20/2013 at 12:47am - love - by ForeverAlone (woman) - United States

Today, I got a call from work stating that my employment was being terminated. This was after being suspended while they investigated my sexual harassment claim. Their reason for firing me: misuse of company time. Yes, I suppose reporting being sexually harassed is a huge waste of time. FML

#20681249
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48001) - you deserved it (4471)

On 05/23/2013 at 3:24am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got into a car crash, in my own garage. FML

#20643761
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21457) - you deserved it (41192)

On 05/05/2013 at 7:51pm - misc - by LilaTheGreat - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, after spending a week defending my marriage to everyone, I found out my husband has an addiction I never knew about. Hookers. FML

#20646861
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58534) - you deserved it (6702)

On 05/06/2013 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while paying a $60 tab on drinks for a girl, a guy grabs the money-clip out of my hand and runs. I start to chase after him; the girl trips me, then runs after him. The bartender calls the cops; not to catch the thieves, but to report me for not paying. FML

#20634407
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52408) - you deserved it (4417)

On 05/01/2013 at 6:30am - money - by Alexman1985 -

Today, at work, my boss made me go outside and wash people's cars for free. I work at Verizon. FML

#20677176
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41840) - you deserved it (3994)

On 05/21/2013 at 2:31am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, marks the third week in which my girlfriend has gone without taking a shower. She does this every so often, taking showers roughly once per month. She's convinced baby wipes will "hold her over". FML

#20638375
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54519) - you deserved it (9274)

On 05/03/2013 at 1:16am - love - by SingleStrongArm - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after coming home from school, I found that two birds have made a nest above the porch light. This wouldn't be a problem if they stopped attacking me every time I get within 5 feet of them. FML

#20663096
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38308) - you deserved it (3295)

On 05/14/2013 at 3:11pm - animals - by Locked Out - United States

Today, my girlfriend found a letter I'd written to myself for moral support while we were broken up, in which I explained why we would never work out. Apparently I made a convincing argument. FML

#20645173
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35923) - you deserved it (35264)

On 05/06/2013 at 10:24am - love - by Alone (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was told I would not be getting the job I was offered because I failed my drug test. They never gave me a drug test. FML

#20660591
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49422) - you deserved it (2861)

On 05/13/2013 at 10:39am - work - by Confused (man) - United States (Maine)



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: