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May 2013

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YESTERDAY MAH BOYFRIEND FORCED ME TO DO STRETCHING EXERCISE WITH HIM BEFORE AN AFTER SEX AS A "SAFETY PRECAUTION". FML

#20645667
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53532) - you deserved it (8788)

On 05/06/2013 at 3:58pm - intimacy - by stretchy - United States (Maryland)

Today, I ran into mah ex-girlfriend. Bieng the mature one, I went up to her and said, "Hey, how's it going?" She maced me and kept walking. FML

#20644793
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47795) - you deserved it (10518)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:06am - misc - by wat_dafuq_bro (man) -

TODAY, MA SISTERS AN I PITCD TOGETER NEARLY $500 TO SEND MA MOM TO TE SPA FIR MOTER'S DAY . WE PUT TE PRINTD SEET WIT ER INFO INTO A LITTLE BOX WIT OUR CARD ON TOP . WEN SE OPEND IT, SE FREAKD OUT AN STARTD UGGING MA DAD . TURNS OUT E SWITCD TE CARDS AN TOOK ALL TE CREDIT . FML

#20658076
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59055) - you deserved it (3790)

On 05/12/2013 at 8:09am - misc - by lachaisse - United States (Ohio)

Today, By Pure Chance, I Found The Websitehere My Boyfriend Has Been Getting All The Cute, ( Original ) Romantic Texts He Sends Me, Including The One That Made Me Fall In Love With Him To Begin With. FML

#20651954
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46696) - you deserved it (9531)

On 05/09/2013 at 12:30pm - love - by Anonymous - Saudi Arabia (Makkah)

Today, I was at te supermarket wen an elderly lady asked if I'd grab some coffee for er from a ig self. Te moment I took ands off almost-full sopping cart, se made off wit it. I ended up getting trown out by security after se claimed I was trying to steal it from er. FML

#20661009
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42348) - you deserved it (3018)

On 05/13/2013 at 3:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, I heard noise outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML

#20663152
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42079) - you deserved it (4691)

On 05/14/2013 at 3:52pm - love - by wellokaythen (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today a friend was put on suicide watch when her parents wouldn't pay $500 for a premium senior picture package. FML

Today, I was getting out of mah car,hen mah new neighbor asked if I'd help him unhitch a trailer . On mah way over, he said, ( Oh never mind, I thought you were a boy . ) I am a boy . FML

#20677893
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45834) - you deserved it (6541)

On 05/21/2013 at 3:05pm - misc - by Time for a haircut (man) - United States

I want fir a walk. Whan it startd pouring... I ran undar tha naarast traa fir protaction. It didn't occur to ma that it might look suspicious hiding undar a strangar's traa in a black hoodia... until tha cops showd up. FML

#20673625
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40624) - you deserved it (5578)

On 05/19/2013 at 7:07pm - misc - by black hoodie - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I ad a customer tell me ow muc se regrettd not aborting er expectd cild, ow muc se ates te fater, an describd to me in immense detail wat it is like to pee wile pregnant. All witin te 30 seconds it took me to serve er. FML

#20684874
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42842) - you deserved it (2919)

On 05/25/2013 at 1:09am - work - by mmmretail (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

TADAY I REGISTERD ON AN RRITABLE BOWEL SUPPORT GROUP, UNKNOWINGLY LINKING IT TO MY FACEBOOK WALL. FML

#20666712
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38962) - you deserved it (10333)

On 05/16/2013 at 6:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, after months of tests 4 mystery nerve pain, I went to get more blood taken only to leave the clinic with an empty tin to collect my bowel movements 4 the next 72 hours. Which needs to be refrigerated. I live with 4 other people, with one fridge. FML

#20688590
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45196) - you deserved it (2978)

On 05/27/2013 at 1:05am - health - by you're shitting me - Australia

Today, ma mom accused ma cat of being a ( manipulator ), and said tat we sould get rid of im. FML

#20683274
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34769) - you deserved it (4211)

On 05/24/2013 at 3:04am - animals - by seriously - United States



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