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May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I fainted. Instead of stopping to help, some guy stopped to draw a penis on my forehead. The EMT laughed. FML

#20692945
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46616) - you deserved it (3454)

On 05/29/2013 at 11:21am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out that my cell phone bill was much higher than normal. After investigating, I realized that a text conversation I had with my stalker, telling him multiple times not to contact me anymore, was to an international cell phone. I have to pay to be stalked. FML

#20666438
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44891) - you deserved it (5821)

On 05/16/2013 at 12:31am - money - by astalkerindeed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I beat my extremely competitive friend in a game of pool. He responded by breaking a pool stick over my head. FML

#20674823
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42727) - you deserved it (5743)

On 05/20/2013 at 2:32am - misc - by soreloser (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, a group of guys came into my restaurant, dressed up in some kind of role-playing game clothing. Apparently I pronounced one of their fake elf names wrong, because the guy complained to my manager, who then bitched me out in front of everyone for upsetting the customers. FML

#20685944
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43745) - you deserved it (4387)

On 05/25/2013 at 6:13pm - work - by leela (woman) - United States

Today, my very drunk mom called me to confess that she was the girl that my boyfriend left me for two years ago. FML

#20696605
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54702) - you deserved it (3114)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:20am - love - by wtf mom - United States (California)

Today, my boss asked me to read through a document. I gave my feedback, saying it seemed like it had been written by an 8-year-old. Turns out it was in fact written by him. FML

#20649842
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40941) - you deserved it (14729)

On 05/08/2013 at 12:59pm - work - by anon_1996 - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my ex-boyfriend called my parents to let them know I broke up with him. He was sobbing. FML

#20664891
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42093) - you deserved it (9629)

On 05/15/2013 at 11:16am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boss called me into his office. After yelling and firing me, his assistant comes in telling him he had mistaken me for someone else. He did not give me my job back, as he claimed it would make an awkward work environment. FML

#20635835
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49313) - you deserved it (2286)

On 05/01/2013 at 9:52pm - work - by Paul (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend forced me to do stretching exercises with him before and after sex as a "safety precaution". FML

#20645667
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51701) - you deserved it (8565)

On 05/06/2013 at 3:58pm - intimacy - by stretchy - United States (Maryland)

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend. Being the mature one, I went up to her and said, "Hey, how's it going?" She maced me and kept walking. FML

#20644793
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46169) - you deserved it (10120)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:06am - misc - by wat_dafuq_bro (man) -

Today, my new neighbor moved in. Because she was fairly young, I offered to mow her grass whenever it needed cut. Her dad then tried to start a fight with me because he thought it was sexual come-on. FML

#20663640
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38363) - you deserved it (6444)

On 05/14/2013 at 7:52pm - misc - by Brenden - United States (Ohio)

Today, my sisters and I pitched together nearly $500 to send my mom to the spa for Mother's Day. We put the printed sheet with her info into a little box with our card on top. When she opened it, she freaked out and started hugging my dad. Turns out he switched the cards and took all the credit. FML

#20658076
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57675) - you deserved it (3685)

On 05/12/2013 at 8:09am - misc - by lachaisse - United States (Ohio)

Today, by pure chance, I found the website where my boyfriend has been getting all the cute, "original" romantic texts he sends me, including the one that made me fall in love with him to begin with. FML

#20651954
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45062) - you deserved it (9291)

On 05/09/2013 at 12:30pm - love - by Anonymous - Saudi Arabia (Makkah)



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