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May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was out jogging, when I saw a girl fall off her bike and start crying. I ran over to see if she was hurt. Apparently her neighbour thought I was trying to kidnap her, because he ran out with a baseball bat and threatened to beat me to death if I didn't get lost. FML

#20647971
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45953) - you deserved it (2727)

On 05/07/2013 at 4:21pm - kids - by bet a woman would've been thanked (man) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, it's my birthday. I worked late, so I was looking forward to spending a quiet evening with my husband. When he suggested we go grocery shopping, I got excited thinking he had organized a surprise party or something. He actually just took me grocery shopping. FML

#20647398
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48839) - you deserved it (8918)

On 05/07/2013 at 8:48am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was on a date with this guy I just met and we went to a fancy restaurant. Halfway through the meal, there was an awkward silence, and he decided to end it by saying "You know, you chew like a cow." FML

#20670019
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40641) - you deserved it (11790)

On 05/17/2013 at 10:59pm - love - by moo... -

Today, I had my first job as a wedding planner. I'd spent a year making sure everything was right. After the wedding my friend comforted me by saying, "You had to have known it wasn't going to be perfect." I knew that it wouldn't be perfect, but I had expected the groom to at least show up. FML

#20676942
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42826) - you deserved it (2831)

On 05/21/2013 at 12:10am - work - by future walmart employee (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I happily told my parents that my boyfriend proposed to me last night. My dad's response? "Marry that goofy bastard and you're out of the will." FML

#20654832
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53295) - you deserved it (5163)

On 05/10/2013 at 7:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Sankt Gallen)

Today, I spent hours playing my guitar and singing in the street, hoping to make some extra cash. About 3 hours in, I realized some punk had been walking around with a hat taking money as if he was with me. FML

#20633517
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44436) - you deserved it (5028)

On 04/30/2013 at 8:31pm - money - by honeynuggetviolin -

Today, my ex-boyfriend called my parents to let them know I broke up with him. He was sobbing. FML

#20664891
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42099) - you deserved it (9630)

On 05/15/2013 at 11:16am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I tried to "trip" and fall into this guy I've had a crush on. I missed and fell on my face. He stepped over me and kept walking. FML

#20646330
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24196) - you deserved it (48507)

On 05/06/2013 at 8:45pm - misc - by clumsy - United States (Tennessee)

Today, after finding out that I would never be able to move my dominant arm again, I decided to talk to my best friend about it because it was getting to me. She responded with, "It really bugs me that you made this conversation all about you." FML

#20665722
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47302) - you deserved it (2860)

On 05/15/2013 at 7:43pm - health - by LordCrafte (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, the girl that I've been madly in love with was demanding I tell her who I liked. I told her no, I should just keep it a secret, but she demanded I tell her. After I told her, the only response I got was, "You're right. You should have kept that a secret." FML

#20644845
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62887) - you deserved it (5919)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:49am - love - by walkingdead_1029 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was sitting next to an attractive man. Much to my surprise, he started stroking his foot against mine. I was happy at the flirting because I've been attracted to him forever, so I played along. That's when he stood up and explained he was trying to stretch out a cramp. FML

#20664979
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53042) - you deserved it (10416)

On 05/15/2013 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by Redfaced (woman) - United Kingdom (Walsall)

Today, my ex-wife, whom I divorced just 8 months ago, asked me to attend her wedding, because "it would mean a lot" to her. She's marrying the man she cheated on me with. FML

#20651917
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49216) - you deserved it (2941)

On 05/09/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my bag got stolen with all of my belongings at the beach. After being forced to ask strangers for money, I then travelled home on the train for an hour, wearing only a bikini. FML

#20670402
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48824) - you deserved it (4998)

On 05/18/2013 at 4:57am - misc - by Chelsea - Australia (Western Australia)



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