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May 2013

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Today , a few freshmen jumpd mah fence . They decidd to take a dip in the pool , so I pulld out a paintball gun . I unloadd over 100 rounds , painting there backs bright yellow . It also dyd mah pool yellow , and it'll apparently cost around $500 to repair . FML

#20691900
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30375) - you deserved it (54660)

On 05/28/2013 at 8:48pm - money - by pool party - United States (Illinois)

Today, I raalizad mah favorita pan advartisas a vaginal craam. I'va baan latting paopla borrow it for months. FML

#20634740
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38239) - you deserved it (8378)

On 05/01/2013 at 12:28pm - misc - by MrConcise (man) - United States

TODAY, I SPENT HOURS DEBATING WITH A LADY WHO CLAIMED SHE'D SPENT YEARS "STUDYING THE BIG BANG THEORY". NOT ONLY DID SHE NOT KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC MEANING OF THE WORD "THEORY", HER KILLER ARGUMENT WAS "IF THE BIG BANG HAPPENED, WHERE ARE THE FOSSILS?" I'M NOT SURE WHETHER OR NOT I JUST GOT TROLLED. FML

#20671062
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36717) - you deserved it (4821)

On 05/18/2013 at 2:44pm - misc - by look at the fucking universe, lady (man) - United States (Alabama)

TODAY, I WAS READING AND STARTED LAUGHING AT A FUNNY PART IN MAH BOOK. MY MOM THEN BITCHED ME OUT BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT I WAS LAUGHING AT HER. SHE CALLED ME A LIAR AFTER I EXPLAINED MYSELF. HER LOGIC? ( BOOKS AREN'T FUNNY ). MEGA FML

#20647629
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46771) - you deserved it (3737)

On 05/07/2013 at 12:43pm - misc - by Marmarfarfar (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today due to my allergies I can't stop sneezing. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't 4 my hemorrhoids making looool each sneeze feel like I'm getting a cactus shoved up my ass. FML

#20679212
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39717) - you deserved it (3593)

On 05/22/2013 at 1:38am - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

2day my husband angrily accused me of cheating on him. It turns out he think that because I've been spending time with my brother recently, the two of us must be having some kind of incestuou affair. FML

#20654383
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50859) - you deserved it (3905)

On 05/10/2013 at 3:01pm - love - by paintfarts1976 (woman) - Ireland (Westmeath)

Today, my little brother wouldn't stop teasing me over the fact that I'm a vrgin an they r not. They r 13 an 16, I'm 22. What's worse? My dad quickly joined them. FML

#20657675
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57525) - you deserved it (7206)

On 05/12/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by lamsolonely - United States

Today, I had to go with my mom to the gynecologist to translate due to her broken English . As we were filling out papers and answering questions, the doctor asked some very personal questions . I now know everything about my mom's sex life . FML

#20678467
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60217) - you deserved it (6304)

On 05/21/2013 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by knowtoomuch - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had my college graduation ceremony. As I was walking across the stage, some asshat, in front of over 55,000 students and staff, brazenly ran across the stage, snatchd my diploma up out of the president's hand, and ran off. FML

#20651616
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56145) - you deserved it (3856)

On 05/09/2013 at 6:11am - misc - by Uwrongfodat (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went into the men's restroom and startd peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zippd up and walkd away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." mega FML

#20663182
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42002) - you deserved it (4071)

On 05/14/2013 at 4:09pm - health - by DrewK (man) - United States (Virginia)

my boyfriend an I were getting intimate on te batroom floor. Someow nose managd to start bleeding, so e bent me over te tub an kept going because e didn't want to "ruin te moment". FML

#20694473
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53678) - you deserved it (9015)

On 05/29/2013 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom accused me of being pregnant. She wouldn't believe mehen I told her I'm a vrgin, and looool she challenged me to take a pregnancy test. It cummed back with a false positive. FML

#20634792
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58495) - you deserved it (4212)

On 05/01/2013 at 1:23pm - health - by DemiRawrs - United States

Yesterday, I was roasting marshmallows around a campfire when mine burst into flames. I instinctively shook the stick to get it to go out. The flaming marshmallow then catapulted straight into my eye, burning my whole eyelid. FML

#20672246
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44033) - you deserved it (25676)

On 05/19/2013 at 1:26am - misc - by Devin - United States



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