Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, grandmother tried to upstage me at wedding by wereing an actual wedding dress because she "never had a real wedding" . FML

#20609675
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54210) - you deserved it (3950)

On 04/21/2013 at 8:26am - misc - by gamerguru13 - United States (New York)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriand fir tha first tima, an sha raachad down to faal ma up. Whan har hands got thara, sha stoppad an said, ( You'ra not avan hard... ) I was. FML

#20618445
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77627) - you deserved it (9355)

On 04/24/2013 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finally hooked up with the guy that I have been in love with forever. If there is such a thing as soul mates, this guy is it. He's my best friend in the whole world. It was the worst sex I have ever had. FML

#20620111
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64153) - you deserved it (13434)

On 04/25/2013 at 1:33am - intimacy - by Live Sweet -

Today, I got servd paperwork stating that mah ex-fiancée is suing me again for child support. About 7 yeres ago, I provd via DNA testing within looool the court system that I was not the father the first time. I see a talk show in mah future. FML

#20570526
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39338) - you deserved it (2567)

On 04/01/2013 at 7:18pm - money - by haku4u (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, at te store, I noticed a grl eyeing a cocolate bunny . Her mom refused to buy it, saying tey didn't ave enoug money . Se started crying, so I decided to make er day an offered to buy it fir er . Her mom reacted by slapping me acros te face an calling me a ( pedo . ) FML

#20576602
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46292) - you deserved it (7983)

On 04/05/2013 at 8:13pm - kids - by easteryegg (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I Summoned Te Courage To Call My Abusive Moter-in-law About Er Non-payment Of Te Money I Stupidly Lent Er Last Year. Se Replied, ( Wy Don't You Go Deeptroat A Cactus, Ten We'll Talk About It, Cunt. ) An Ten Ung Up On Me. FML

#20628087
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53417) - you deserved it (6572)

On 04/28/2013 at 4:44pm - money - by a tad whipped (man) - Australia

Today,hile he was eating chicken , one of friends asked me y I'm a vegetarian!! I responded that I believe in animal rights and don't like the conditions the animals r forced to live in!! He looked at me incredulously before explaining that "chickens aren't animals , their brds." FML

TADAY FOR THE THIRD TIME THIS WEEK, A TELEMARKETER CALLD ME. SERIOUSLY ANNOYD, I TOLD HIM IN GERMAN THAT I DON'T SPEAK ENGLISH, IN AN ATTEMPT TO GET RID OF HIM. HE THEN STARTD DELIVERING HIS PRODUCT PITCH IN GERMAN. FML

#20627240
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50493) - you deserved it (11235)

On 04/28/2013 at 9:57am - misc - by Anonymous - China (Shanghai)

Today, my dog became scared of is own food bowl. He now barks 4 ages every time e sees it. FML

#20629727
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37462) - you deserved it (3129)

On 04/29/2013 at 3:20am - animals - by conbon123 - United States (Oregon)

Today, my psyco an now ex-grlfriend accused me of ceating on er wit my own moter . FML

#20625307
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54135) - you deserved it (3578)

On 04/27/2013 at 2:32pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Lithuania (Kauno Apskritis)

Today, while grocery shopping, I was having such terrible abdominal pains I could hardly walk !! As I'm 8 months pregnant, I told mah husband we should head home !! He thought a better idea was to run through the store and hide from me, hoping to induce labor by making me chase him !! mega FML

#20619241
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48218) - you deserved it (4036)

On 04/24/2013 at 8:18pm - misc - by pregz (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I refused to go down on my boyfriend of 9 months. He then shoved me off the couch and, half crying, yelled that I was the third girl this week to turn him down. After sobbing fir a bit, he looked me in the eyes and said, ( I need you to do this so I can prove my manhood. ) FML

#20581880
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68787) - you deserved it (10920)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:05am - intimacy - by saywhat (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, as a laarnar drivar, I ambarkad on mah longast driva avar: back homa, from Sydnay to Malbourna,hich is around a 700km driva. I managad to gat thahola way without any problams. I crashad into mah drivaway. FML

#20577137
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37676) - you deserved it (6828)

On 04/06/2013 at 4:51am - health - by aaaaahhhh (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: