Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while grocery shopping, I was having such terrible abdominal pains I could hardly walk. As I'm 8 months pregnant, I told my husband we should head home. He thought a better idea was to run through the store and hide from me, hoping to induce labor by making me chase him. FML

#20619241
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49207) - you deserved it (4126)

On 04/24/2013 at 8:18pm - misc - by pregz (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, trying to be friendly, I said good morning to the creepy guy at work. He responded by wordlessly hugging me. I was touched, until I realized he was trying to unhook my bra. FML

#20588922
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49167) - you deserved it (8026)

On 04/13/2013 at 9:14pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my ex-boyfriend, with whom I'm still madly in love, called me and begged me to come back to him. In shock, I asked, "Is this some kind of joke?" He giggled, said yes, and then promptly hung up. FML

#20595377
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59554) - you deserved it (6699)

On 04/15/2013 at 10:20pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by egging by some bastard riding a segway. He still got away. FML

#20606053
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41709) - you deserved it (8953)

On 04/19/2013 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand

Today, my sister was crying to me about how her boyfriend never showed up for their date. He's done this many times before, so I suggested the fact that maybe he'd just ditched her. She said that was ridiculous, because "he's Canadian" and according to her, "they don't lie." FML

#20621115
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46753) - you deserved it (5174)

On 04/25/2013 at 4:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my pregnant wife paged my emergency line at work. Thinking she was in serious danger, I raced home and found her hysterically crying. When I asked her what was going on, she replied, "The dogs won't stop barking!" FML

#20615372
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50553) - you deserved it (6064)

On 04/23/2013 at 7:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was rear ended at McDonald's by the same driver who rear ended me at the same McDonald's last week. FML

#20607123
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56857) - you deserved it (7949)

On 04/20/2013 at 9:43am - misc - by dentedmercedes - United States (Michigan)

Today, the power was out. I tried to explain to my boyfriend that he wouldn't be able to watch any TV until the power came back on. His response was, "But we have Netflix." FML

#20580991
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38423) - you deserved it (5894)

On 04/08/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by Zxz - Canada

Today, I was sent to group therapy. A girl spent twenty minutes telling us horrible details of having been raised incestuously. A side effect of my new medication is yawning. FML

Today, I forgot to log out of my Facebook account before leaving for work. When I got back home, I discovered that my brother had gone through and commented "quack" on all my friend's duckfacing photos. She was not pleased. FML

#20588155
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28163) - you deserved it (45086)

On 04/13/2013 at 2:07pm - misc - by reallythough - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML

#20576240
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46025) - you deserved it (4604)

On 04/05/2013 at 2:51pm - health - by what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god (man) - Singapore

Today, my psycho and now ex-girlfriend accused me of cheating on her with my own mother. FML

#20625307
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56984) - you deserved it (3807)

On 04/27/2013 at 2:32pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Lithuania (Kauno Apskritis)

Today, I was taking a dump in the bathroom. The lights turned off and I was too embarrassed to come out of the stall. The janitor walked in, turned the lights on and asked If anyone was there. I stayed quiet. He turned the lights back off and locked me in the bathroom. FML

#20630741
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18243) - you deserved it (61378)

On 04/29/2013 at 5:11pm - misc - by random - Canada



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: