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April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was telling my aunt that I had achieved my blue belt in karate. Looking at my short hair, she says, "You're going to end up a lesbian." Thanks Aunt L. Love you too. FML

Today, it wasn't until I heard something fly off the roof of my car and hit the trunk, then asphalt, that I remembered where I left my phone while unlocking the car door. FML

#20598583
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28913) - you deserved it (35516)

On 04/17/2013 at 1:51am - money - by Anonymous -

Today, I popped a pimple while stopped at a red light. When I looked over the woman in the car next to me was laughing, and had her camera phone out. FML

#20627066
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42662) - you deserved it (16314)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:28am - health - by msarosi - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized that my Twitter profile was very public when my business professor made fun of student tweets in class. My tweet went, "Totally bullshitting this business report" about the report I had just handed in, worth a large portion of my grade. FML

#20584642
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14642) - you deserved it (83782)

On 04/11/2013 at 3:49am - work - by imscrewed - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I just remembered that I changed my Gmail display name to "Rice Ball" out of privacy-paranoia a while back. I've been using this same email to apply to several professional jobs. FML

#20592754
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17157) - you deserved it (38092)

On 04/15/2013 at 1:58am - misc - by geeshock1987 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to go to the clinic for a physical. The nurse asked me for a pee sample; however, I had no urine to give. After 20 minutes of standing at the stall I was able to squeeze half a cup of pee. As I approached the sink to cover the sample, I somehow managed to drop it all over myself. FML

#20589296
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47253) - you deserved it (9616)

On 04/14/2013 at 1:10am - health - by NoPeeGiven - United States (Illinois)

Today, six weeks before my wedding, my mother decided to claim that she never agreed on paying for it and that she doesn't think she will. Now I have six weeks to scavenge enough cash for the wedding she planned in the first place. FML

#20626669
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52451) - you deserved it (4269)

On 04/28/2013 at 12:29am - money - by need_cash_now (man) - United States

Today, after two and a half hours of travel, it was finally my stop on the train. I politely waited for a group of women to get off first. They took so long to move that the train doors closed. I shouted at one through the door to call the conductor. She watched and smiled as the train departed. FML

#20569932
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37710) - you deserved it (3985)

On 04/01/2013 at 12:37pm - misc - by CrimsonAmaryllis (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I was so nervous about a first date that trying to break a silence in the beginning, I asked, "So, you afraid of any insects?" No wonder I didn't get a second date. FML

#20632372
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38030) - you deserved it (11350)

On 04/30/2013 at 8:28am - love - by Gioia (woman) - Bulgaria (Vidin)

Today, I missed multiple calls from the company I applied to. That was the supervisor calling, wanting to hire me. I then remembered my idiotic voicemail I made months ago where I pretended to answer and say stupid stuff for 5 minutes. I don't think I'm going to get the job. FML

#20627029
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21272) - you deserved it (53243)

On 04/28/2013 at 5:09am - work - by stupid voicemails - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I went to a library to return a book that I've had for years. After a heated discussion with the librarian, not only did she charge me over a hundred dollars for the book, she also called the cops to escort me out. FML

#20595392
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25624) - you deserved it (45771)

On 04/16/2013 at 12:01am - money - by LoLWut?? nd Why?? - United States

Today, is the day of the biggest concert in the state of Florida, and it's also my birthday. I was so excited to hear my mom got tickets. It was for her boyfriend and her. I'm stuck at home babysitting. FML

#20589773
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56920) - you deserved it (4266)

On 04/14/2013 at 9:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I brought a girl home from a bar. Things were getting hot and heavy when she asked if I had a condom. I opened my wallet to grab the one I keep in there, only to find the empty wrapper in its place; it was the only one I had. It seems drunk me is a bigger jerk than I thought. FML

#20570299
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20088) - you deserved it (43910)

On 04/01/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by Marco (man) - United States



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