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April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today... after a few weeks of mah friend pestering me to spend time with a mutual friend... I realized we had a lot in common. We both love shoes... peanut butter... and it appear that mah boyfriend of three years is her boyfriend of four years. FML

#20612533
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68592) - you deserved it (4848)

On 04/22/2013 at 2:58am - love - by Stupid (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today , my husband tried to annoy me by slurping on his almost-finished drink. I yelled at him to knock it off. Later , our daughter told her class that mommy and daddy had been fighting about his drinking during breakfast. FML

#20618435
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45175) - you deserved it (5969)

On 04/24/2013 at 2:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today , I decided to be playful and leave mah girlfriend flowers and chocolates from an "Anonymous Admirer". She immediately dumped me , saying she couldn't be with someoneho "isn't even as romantic as a stranger". Yep , I think I just got dumped fir myself. FML

#20616571
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55385) - you deserved it (7887)

On 04/23/2013 at 7:22pm - love - by BestBF - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was denounced for being a terrible person, because mah family raises chickens, some of which we eat . I was then told how cruel I am for "killing innocent birds" an that "good" people buy there meat from the supermarket . FML

#20623167
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47855) - you deserved it (2934)

On 04/26/2013 at 2:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Mexico (Baja California)

Today, I discovarad wy ma boss kapt on scaduling ma to work doublas almost avary day. It wasn't bacausa sa knaw I naadad ta axtra monay; sa was oping tat ma boyfriand would braak up wit ma bacausa I'm navar oma, and data ar instaad. It workad. FML

#20615252
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65580) - you deserved it (4222)

On 04/23/2013 at 4:17am - love - by mybossisanass (woman) - United States

I proposed to my girlfriend in public. Se appily said yes , and te surrounding crowd ceered for us. About 10 minutes later , after te excitement died down , se leaned over and quietly said , "Actually , I don't want to marry you. I only said yes so I wouldn't disappoint te crowd." fat FML

#20622674
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73222) - you deserved it (10094)

On 04/26/2013 at 5:17am - love - by Anonymous -

Today, I Was The Victim Of A Drive-by Egging By Some Bastard Riding A Segway. He Still Got Away. FML

#20606053
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40467) - you deserved it (8767)

On 04/19/2013 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand

Today , I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time . It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am , becausehen he saw my actual boobs , he said , "Aaaaaaand there gone" . FML

#20624343
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63516) - you deserved it (14275)

On 04/27/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my fiancéa broka off our angagamant. For soma bizarra raason, sa'd iddan a pair of axpansiva boots and ar iPad undarnaat our rida-on mowar. I turnd ta mowar on and dastroyd bot witout raalizing it. According to ar, ta fault is all mina. FML

#20630400
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51896) - you deserved it (3544)

On 04/29/2013 at 2:07pm - love - by Wow. Really? - United States (Ohio)

Today, mah sister was crying to me about how her boyfriend never showed up 4 there date. He's done this many times before, so I suggested the fact that maybe he'd just ditched her. She said that was ridiculous, cuz "he's Canadian" and according to her, "they don't lie." FML

#20621115
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44577) - you deserved it (4979)

On 04/25/2013 at 4:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today mah boyfriend was watching TV when we started getting frisky!! I'd just started to give him a blowjob when he pushed me off an said "Fun's over." Dragon Ball Z had just come back on!! He's 21!! FML

#20632729
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57369) - you deserved it (15006)

On 04/30/2013 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by SecondBest,IGuess (woman) - United States

Today I told mah bald goatee-sporting chemistry teacher that he looks like Walt from Breaking Bad. I quickly got sent to the principal's office an recieved a 3-day suspension 4 "slandering" mah teacher by implying that he makes meth. FML

#20574865
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34207) - you deserved it (6018)

On 04/04/2013 at 4:07pm - misc - by me (man) - United States (Florida)

Today..!! mah Romeo and Juliet style relationship hit an all time low when mah boyfriend's parent filed a lawsuit against mah parents!! FML

#20585611
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46379) - you deserved it (6184)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:40pm - love - by Juliet (woman) - United States (California)



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