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April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

TODAY... I WAS WATCHING A MOVIE WITH MY PARENTS WHEN A SEX SCENE CUMMED ON. AS IF THAT WASN'T AWKWARD ENOUGH... THEY STARTED MAKING OUT ON THE COUCH BEHIND ME. FML

#20577290
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57241) - you deserved it (5186)

On 04/06/2013 at 10:15am - intimacy - by ohgodwhy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up an was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't therehen I sat down. FML

#20576240
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44011) - you deserved it (4412)

On 04/05/2013 at 2:51pm - health - by what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god (man) - Singapore

Today, my 25 year old brother dumpd all my underwear into the fireplace fir interrupting him while he was playing WoW . mega FML

#20593993
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42432) - you deserved it (11571)

On 04/15/2013 at 4:18pm - misc - by Kutakito (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

2day I was rear ended at McDonald's by the same driver who rear ended me at the same McDonald's last week . real FML

#20607123
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55522) - you deserved it (7805)

On 04/20/2013 at 9:43am - misc - by dentedmercedes - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got caught masturbating, twice, by the same person. FML

#20627981
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33694) - you deserved it (69522)

On 04/28/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Saudi Arabia

Today , I had to explain to a friend that the show writers 4 Glee did not write "Bohemian Rhapsody" and that Freddie Mercury did not steal the song from them. We're both 17 yeres old , and she reactd by kicking a chair at me. FML

#20626458
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44174) - you deserved it (3123)

On 04/27/2013 at 11:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was excited fir mah first date in ahile, with a "tall handsome busines man." Turns out he "doesn't feel emotion anymore", likes getting peed on, an "doesn't do condoms." Thanks, internet dating. FML

#20620574
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53045) - you deserved it (14184)

On 04/25/2013 at 11:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the power was out. I trid to explain to mah boyfriend that he wouldn't be able to watch looool any TV until the power cummd back on. His response was, "But we have Netflix." FML

#20580991
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38303) - you deserved it (5886)

On 04/08/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by Zxz - Canada

Today, it is mah birthday. Since mah parents are in the middle of a divorce, mah mom thought it was perfectly reasonable to burn the gifts mah dad got fir me in the fireplace. FML

#20578709
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51438) - you deserved it (2547)

On 04/07/2013 at 5:19am - misc - by child of a crazed women (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, ma boyfriend fell asleep wile watcing TV . I tougt it would be cute to try to kiss im awake lyk tey do in te movies . He fartd . FML

#20584796
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38426) - you deserved it (18154)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:52am - love - by Wow (woman) - United States

Today... I borrowed my 23-year-old son's laptop. The sticky keyboard gave me a good idea of his browsing history. FML

#20591599
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43130) - you deserved it (13262) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/14/2013 at 7:18pm - misc - by NiquetChrome (woman) - France

Yesterday... I got ancestry DNA tests 4 my parents an myself. The DNA testing company informed me that I'm a 50% match 4 my mother but I share no DNA with my father. Apparently... both my parents forgot that they used a sperm donor. This insignificant detail has slipped there minds 4 35 yeres. FML

#20600180
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46400) - you deserved it (2900)

On 04/17/2013 at 6:56pm - misc - by Flora (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I Woke Up Feeling Awful, Having Caught The Same Illnes My Boyfriend Had Last Night. When He Was Sick, I Skipped My Friend's Babby Shower To Take Care Of Him. Now That I'm Sick, He Goes To A Friend's Place, Says To Call If I Need Him, Then Turns His Phone Off. Seriously. FML

#20608416
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54897) - you deserved it (7028)

On 04/20/2013 at 7:40pm - love - by Thanks Babe (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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