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Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up an was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't therehen I sat down. FML
Today , I had to explain to a friend that the show writers 4 Glee did not write "Bohemian Rhapsody" and that Freddie Mercury did not steal the song from them. We're both 17 yeres old , and she reactd by kicking a chair at me. FML
Today, I was excited fir mah first date in ahile, with a "tall handsome busines man." Turns out he "doesn't feel emotion anymore", likes getting peed on, an "doesn't do condoms." Thanks, internet dating. FML
Yesterday... I got ancestry DNA tests 4 my parents an myself. The DNA testing company informed me that I'm a 50% match 4 my mother but I share no DNA with my father. Apparently... both my parents forgot that they used a sperm donor. This insignificant detail has slipped there minds 4 35 yeres. FML
Today, I Woke Up Feeling Awful, Having Caught The Same Illnes My Boyfriend Had Last Night. When He Was Sick, I Skipped My Friend's Babby Shower To Take Care Of Him. Now That I'm Sick, He Goes To A Friend's Place, Says To Call If I Need Him, Then Turns His Phone Off. Seriously. FML
Friday 27 March 2015