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April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I asked my grandmother to hem my prom dress for me. I'm her oldest granddaughter so I thought she'd be happy to do it. She said no. Her occupation is a seamstress. FML

#20589845
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42169) - you deserved it (7247)

On 04/14/2013 at 10:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had to go to the hospital for an allergic reaction. Turns out, I'm highly allergic to cherry blossoms. My wife and I just bought a house and moved into a new neighborhood. Almost every block in this neighborhood, including my own, has rows and rows of cherry blossom trees. FML

#20628272
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42938) - you deserved it (3182)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:10pm - health - by verycherryfucked (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was coming home from a much-needed vacation. The time I spent on the plane consisted of kids screaming and throwing tantrums. One of them managed to give me a black eye with a shoe. Their mom pretended to be asleep so I'd have to deal with her kids for her. FML

#20626326
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40773) - you deserved it (2767)

On 04/27/2013 at 10:30pm - health - by Satan'sChildren - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I interviewed three elderly residents at a nursing home, hoping to use the transcript for a very important paper due next week. It went great, so I wrapped up and drove home. I sat down to start typing, and realized that my recording had stopped ten minutes in. FML

#20577861
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31228) - you deserved it (5398)

On 04/06/2013 at 5:39pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom started fundraising and selling things on ebay. At first I was happy because I thought she was finally going to help me pay my college tuition. Turns out she's planning on raising money to get our dog a new friend because she's "lonely". FML

#20583166
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33523) - you deserved it (4733)

On 04/10/2013 at 2:54am - money - by Witos (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend chooses extra shifts at work over hanging out with me. Every time. She doesn't even like her job. FML

#20591828
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39683) - you deserved it (5704)

On 04/14/2013 at 10:11pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had a job interview at the local donut shop. It turns out I misunderstood the position, and that the job was actually to wear a donut costume and wave at cars outside the shop. I was told this after I got hired. FML

#20630021
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39781) - you deserved it (8468)

On 04/29/2013 at 9:39am - work - by sdeeter (man) - United States

Today, my husband rejected sleeping with me because he wants to "save his energy" for building his custom car. Apparently, I'm a "distraction." FML

#20615528
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43610) - you deserved it (5873)

On 04/23/2013 at 9:38am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a girl was telling me how she was very stressed over her parents' divorce and moving away to another part of the state. While I was listening, I started choking on my saliva. She thought I was laughing. She hasn't spoken to me since. FML

#20601828
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42109) - you deserved it (6749)

On 04/18/2013 at 9:57am - misc - by notlaughing (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my husband tried to haggle a blowjob out of me in exchange for taking his first shower in nearly two weeks. FML

#20605100
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42915) - you deserved it (6750)

On 04/19/2013 at 2:28pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my whole family made an hour-long drive to a restaurant that's just a few minutes away from my place. I wasn't invited. FML

#20626789
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44456) - you deserved it (3049)

On 04/28/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by lonesome - Canada

Today, I called a taxi after a night of partying. When it arrived, I realised I had no cash, so I told the driver I'd quickly grab some from an ATM. He made me leave my phone with him as collateral in case I was pulling a prank. He drove off the moment I turned my back. FML

#20632603
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38641) - you deserved it (13470)

On 04/30/2013 at 12:00pm - misc - by Brady (man) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, I brought a girl home from a bar. Things were getting hot and heavy when she asked if I had a condom. I opened my wallet to grab the one I keep in there, only to find the empty wrapper in its place; it was the only one I had. It seems drunk me is a bigger jerk than I thought. FML

#20570299
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18402) - you deserved it (41355)

On 04/01/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by Marco (man) - United States



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