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April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was working the night shift at the hotel. One of my tasks is to clean out the pool robot. While trying to pull it up, I got pulled in. I had to hide naked in the laundry room for an hour while I put my uniform through the dryer. FML

#20580594
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31994) - you deserved it (3797)

On 04/08/2013 at 12:56pm - work - by soakedga - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to go to the clinic for a physical. The nurse asked me for a pee sample; however, I had no urine to give. After 20 minutes of standing at the stall I was able to squeeze half a cup of pee. As I approached the sink to cover the sample, I somehow managed to drop it all over myself. FML

#20589296
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43848) - you deserved it (9057)

On 04/14/2013 at 1:10am - health - by NoPeeGiven - United States (Illinois)

Today, after an exhausting weekend of work, I decided to take a nap. I was awoken several hours later by my mother-in-law knocking on my door. Apparently my 11-year-old called up grandma to complain that she was hungry and that mum was sleeping instead of cooking dinner. FML

#20589609
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41642) - you deserved it (10720)

On 04/14/2013 at 5:58am - kids - by jasminejzhu (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mother met my sister's boyfriend for the first time. As we talked about it later over dinner she said she didn't like him. When I asked why, she paused for a second and said, "Well, he really reminds me of you." FML

#20611376
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38109) - you deserved it (2983)

On 04/21/2013 at 8:27pm - misc - by Ellwood - United States

Today, I came home from a four month stay in Africa, where I managed to avoid suffering any serious illness. Some hours after my first meal back at home, I got food poisoning. FML

#20608123
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41488) - you deserved it (3418)

On 04/20/2013 at 5:17pm - misc - by unlucky - United States (Illinois)

Today, my parents finally got married. At the after-party, my mother got drunk and informed me that even though she and my father were now married, it doesn't change the fact that I'm still a bastard. FML

#20631493
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42482) - you deserved it (3237)

On 04/29/2013 at 9:57pm - kids - by SierraCheyenne (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, a huge and angry man stormed into my work and threatened to kill me if I didn't stop sleeping with his wife. He then threatened to come back and kick my ass if I so much as texted his wife again. The problem is, I'm married, have never cheated and I work for my wife's father. FML

#20622462
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52277) - you deserved it (2717)

On 04/26/2013 at 1:20am - love - by sad guy - United States

Today, I started training for a charity boxing match. When I got home and walked through the door, my dad punched me in the stomach to test my reaction time. As I lay on the floor trying to catch my breath, he said my reaction time was "terrible". FML

#20579242
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28798) - you deserved it (5309)

On 04/07/2013 at 2:52pm - misc - by DJ (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I had a lunch meeting with important people from my company. While drinking from my wine glass someone cracked a joke, causing me to snort a fountain of wine all over my lap, splashing the people next to me. The horrified look on my boss's face sitting opposite me said everything. FML

#20580301
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29671) - you deserved it (4892)

On 04/08/2013 at 4:30am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, I had a big party planned. All but one of the guests cancelled. See you at 7, mom. FML

#20630222
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44905) - you deserved it (3520)

On 04/29/2013 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands

Today my mother met my in-laws for the first time. She had been an alcoholic and had us sent to foster care 15 years ago. My husband told his parents this behind my back a while ago. When they asked her about it, she denied everything. His entire family now thinks I lie for attention. FML

#20600031
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37706) - you deserved it (3896)

On 04/17/2013 at 5:57pm - misc - by the attention seeker (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. A few hours later, we discovered he's highly allergic to my Summer's Eve soap. He looks like he's been attacked by bees. Yay for losing my v-card. FML

#20597351
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46784) - you deserved it (7381)

On 04/16/2013 at 7:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I sent a girl a friendly conversation starter on Facebook. She replied, "I know what you guys are like. Oh, and that invitation to a date in about 5 messages time? Not a chance." FML

#20632227
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39219) - you deserved it (8387)

On 04/30/2013 at 4:50am - love - by Porter_Robinson (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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