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April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was proposed to, under the condition that I "get thin" first. FML

#20578323
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47131) - you deserved it (9156)

On 04/06/2013 at 11:19pm - love - by ziggers10 - United States

Today, I woke up to my husband taking a piss on our bedroom floor. I screamed that he wasn't in the bathroom, to which he responded, "Shut up! I'm taking a piss, let me finish!" He has no recollection of the event. Now I have to clean up his piss and rewash my clothes. FML

Today, thinking I was alone at work, I did an impression of Goldar from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I turned around to find out I wasn't alone; a cute girl was staring at me, unimpressed. FML

#20582957
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26545) - you deserved it (18427)

On 04/09/2013 at 10:44pm - work - by Goldar - United States

Today, my husband told me that he thinks I am getting a little heavy and may need to lay off the junk food. The ultrasound is hanging on our fridge. FML

#20595162
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55732) - you deserved it (5267)

On 04/15/2013 at 9:35pm - kids - by Mimi (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was approached by a What Not to Wear kind of show, where you get money to buy a new wardrobe. I was so excited that I fainted. They revoked the offer, reasoning that someone who faints so easily would be too much of a liability risk. FML

#20573162
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34035) - you deserved it (9891)

On 04/03/2013 at 12:57pm - misc - by SoClose (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had a job interview. Everything was going well until I noticed a picture of a dog hanging on the wall, which reminded me of the ending of Marley and Me. I started crying and had to be escorted out. FML

#20585994
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20052) - you deserved it (74305)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:58am - misc - by crybaby (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my dad had a little too much to drink. When he's that drunk, he likes to pepper me with a lot of random questions. He asked if I've ever tried hard drugs, and if I want to die. I answered no to both of the questions, and he demanded to know why not. FML

#20577504
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29662) - you deserved it (2573)

On 04/06/2013 at 1:06pm - misc - by yeah why not (woman) - Norway

Today, I realized that my Twitter profile was very public when my business professor made fun of student tweets in class. My tweet went, "Totally bullshitting this business report" about the report I had just handed in, worth a large portion of my grade. FML

#20584642
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13217) - you deserved it (79369)

On 04/11/2013 at 3:49am - work - by imscrewed - Canada (Ontario)

Today, when I was talking to my younger brother, he suddenly said "Oh, I was supposed to tell you that there's this girl who has a huge crush on you!" I asked who and he answered, "I totally forgot her name, that was like 2 months ago." FML

#20589493
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47985) - you deserved it (3815)

On 04/14/2013 at 3:28am - love - by MissedTheBoat (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, in my rush to do my hair and get to work, I managed to trip over my dog, hit my eye on the counter, and sprain my ankle. I arrived at work with a black eye and a painful limp. My boss didn't care, and fired me for showing up late. FML

#20609262
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52259) - you deserved it (6687)

On 04/21/2013 at 1:07am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I removed the side rails from my truck because I didn't think I really needed them. An hour later, I went to Wal-Mart, forgot they were gone, and busted my ass in public while getting out of my truck. FML

#20615692
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17919) - you deserved it (39628)

On 04/23/2013 at 12:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I overheard my boyfriend talking to his mom about me. It sounded like they were planning something for me, like a marriage. They were planning how to break up with me. FML

#20609750
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52203) - you deserved it (5623)

On 04/21/2013 at 9:33am - love - by jerk_ex_boyfriend - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was so nervous about a first date that trying to break a silence in the beginning, I asked, "So, you afraid of any insects?" No wonder I didn't get a second date. FML

#20632372
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34771) - you deserved it (10461)

On 04/30/2013 at 8:28am - love - by Gioia (woman) - Bulgaria (Vidin)



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