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April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I offered to pay my boyfriend to buy me flowers. He still refused. FML

#20584487
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42064) - you deserved it (15612)

On 04/11/2013 at 12:53am - love - by flowerging (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a big party planned. All but one of the guests cancelled. See you at 7, mom. FML

#20630222
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46404) - you deserved it (3653)

On 04/29/2013 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands

Today, someone at my workplace yelled at me and filed a complaint for staring at them too often. I'm a lifeguard. FML

#20604138
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45135) - you deserved it (4206)

On 04/19/2013 at 1:07am - work - by lamelifeguard - United States (Colorado)

Today, I sent a girl a friendly conversation starter on Facebook. She replied, "I know what you guys are like. Oh, and that invitation to a date in about 5 messages time? Not a chance." FML

#20632227
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41278) - you deserved it (8691)

On 04/30/2013 at 4:50am - love - by Porter_Robinson (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was at the park unsuccessfully trying to take a selfie. A stranger walked up to me and offered to take the picture for me. I agreed and gave him my phone. He took it and ran off. FML

#20595412
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30462) - you deserved it (56570)

On 04/16/2013 at 12:08am - misc - by no selfie for me - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because he says I need to learn how to be happy without relying on him. I'm not a clinger, I'm just unhappy because my dad recently passed away, my best friend turned on me, and I lost out on the exchange program of my dreams. FML

#20625067
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57718) - you deserved it (3854)

On 04/27/2013 at 12:35pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark

Today, I woke up from a nightmare that I've been having for a couple of weeks. In the nightmare I'm shot four times in the back by none other than my mother. I'm getting worried. FML

#20575675
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32695) - you deserved it (3134)

On 04/05/2013 at 1:28am - misc - by slightlyworried (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I tried to explain to my history teacher why Woodrow Wilson would not have called the Great War "World War 1" as she constantly claims. I was sent to the office for my insubordination. FML

#20601546
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39420) - you deserved it (4417)

On 04/18/2013 at 3:54am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was on a plane in the aisle seat; the guy in the middle was encroaching on my space, and the window seat was not taken. The stewardess noticed my discomfort and suggested the guy move so we both had space. He had bought both seats and "liked sitting in the middle." FML

#20574297
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35702) - you deserved it (2164)

On 04/04/2013 at 3:12am - misc - by Claustrophobic - United States

Today, my mother met my sister's boyfriend for the first time. As we talked about it later over dinner she said she didn't like him. When I asked why, she paused for a second and said, "Well, he really reminds me of you." FML

#20611376
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39353) - you deserved it (3097)

On 04/21/2013 at 8:27pm - misc - by Ellwood - United States

Today, I overheard my grandpa telling my mom he'd found a load of porn in my laptop's browser history, but that he deleted all the "filth" so she wouldn't have to see it. She believed him and I got grounded, much to his amusement. I've never looked up porn on that computer in my life. FML

#20623130
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42310) - you deserved it (2897)

On 04/26/2013 at 1:34pm - misc - by thats what my ipod is for (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML

#20569989
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38465) - you deserved it (3934)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:17pm - love - by tkrause - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I came home after working overtime to find my dog whining and giving me her "I need to take a shit" face. After changing my shoes, I came back ready to let her out, only to find her giving me the "I just took a shit on your rug" face. My husband has been home all day. FML

#20585168
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42770) - you deserved it (8119)

On 04/11/2013 at 3:38pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Shropshire)



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