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April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was dying my hair a subtly different color. It was only supposed to turn my hair a shade or two lighter, but it seems someone at the store thought it would be funny to switch the dye in the boxes around. My hair is purple. FML

Today, I just remembered that I changed my Gmail display name to "Rice Ball" out of privacy-paranoia a while back. I've been using this same email to apply to several professional jobs. FML

#20592754
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15645) - you deserved it (35288)

On 04/15/2013 at 1:58am - misc - by geeshock1987 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the doctor to inquire about the nasty rash on my arms. He concluded that I'm allergic to beer and the rash will go away if I stay away from it. I'm a bartender. FML

#20592891
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49043) - you deserved it (3653)

On 04/15/2013 at 3:31am - work - by BarBacked (woman) - United States

Today, working in customer support, I received a call from a woman who'd just been robbed. My supervisor asked what was taking so long; I told him that she was hysterical. He took my phone and told her to call back when she had her "shit together", then hung up. I take orders from this man. FML

#20595880
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40077) - you deserved it (3583)

On 04/16/2013 at 6:50am - work - by no compassion - United States (Colorado)

Today, I learned what live maggots in chocolate cake taste like. FML

#20606960
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49068) - you deserved it (7019)

On 04/20/2013 at 6:51am - misc - by MaggotMother (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML

#20618791
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59283) - you deserved it (4417)

On 04/24/2013 at 5:15pm - intimacy - by awkward O_o - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was yelled at and called a pedophile by a mom for talking to her 5 year old girl. I work at a library and she looked like she needed help. This is the third time it has happened. FML

#20621829
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44251) - you deserved it (3596)

On 04/25/2013 at 9:37pm - kids - by LibraryPedo (man) - United States (California)

Today, after 2 months of my new neighbours' kids throwing rocks at our cars, constantly swearing at us, bullying my siblings in and out of school, and vandalising our property, their mother has convinced the landlord that we're the ones out of control. FML

#20620825
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45471) - you deserved it (2314)

On 04/25/2013 at 1:56pm - misc - by neighbour hell - Norway (Vest-Agder)

Today, my cousin is visiting from Oklahoma. He can't go a minute without saying "YOLO" or "Swag". He's going to be here for a week. FML

#20572695
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42039) - you deserved it (3521)

On 04/03/2013 at 1:20am - misc - by fuck YOLO - United States (California)

Today, at school, I saw the guy I like at his locker. I decided to run up from behind and surprise him. I ended up accidentally slamming his locker on his fingers. FML

#20587958
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39039) - you deserved it (40213)

On 04/13/2013 at 11:52am - love - by saxophone911 - United States

Today, my friends and I were exchanging stories with one another. I barely got a few sentences in before they started mocking and viciously insulting me for saying "swaggered", claiming it comes from the slang term "swag", and that they never thought I was a "dumbass hipster". Really now? FML

#20582400
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32271) - you deserved it (6762)

On 04/09/2013 at 5:04pm - misc - by nice education you've got there (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boss fired me from my job at a local family-owned business. Thanks, mom. FML

#20571565
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34413) - you deserved it (8448)

On 04/02/2013 at 12:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to work at a hotel. One of the guests decided to play the piano in the lobby. He's deaf. Unfortunately, I'm not. FML

#20575584
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28406) - you deserved it (6120)

On 04/05/2013 at 12:20am - work - by torturedears (woman) - United States (California)



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