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April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I gave my wife a birthday present. For months she'd been talking about an expensive treadmill that she wanted, so I bought it. Her reaction when she saw it was to yell, "YOU THINK I'M FAT!" and burst into tears. FML

#20597356
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50566) - you deserved it (9345)

On 04/16/2013 at 7:23pm - misc - by S. Fancyson - United States

Today, a huge and angry man stormed into my work and threatened to kill me if I didn't stop sleeping with his wife. He then threatened to come back and kick my ass if I so much as texted his wife again. The problem is, I'm married, have never cheated and I work for my wife's father. FML

#20622462
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56365) - you deserved it (2998)

On 04/26/2013 at 1:20am - love - by sad guy - United States

Today, I confessed to cheating to my girlfriend. She decided to go up to the girl and ask her about it. The girl denied it and said she didn't even know me. My girlfriend walked up to me, called me a liar and punched me in the face. FML

#20629579
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26079) - you deserved it (61691)

On 04/29/2013 at 1:26am - love - by bad day Brutus (man) - United States

Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML

#20585643
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40681) - you deserved it (9478)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:59pm - animals - by anyonmus - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had a formal complaint filed against me for being outrageously rude to a customer. All I did was tell a customer that she couldn't use food stamps at the movie theater. FML

#20620985
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47798) - you deserved it (2769)

On 04/25/2013 at 3:37pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, it's my 17th birthday. The only person who remembered was the creepy guy in my English class who keeps trying to smell my hair. FML

#20624972
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53665) - you deserved it (4143)

On 04/27/2013 at 11:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as a learner driver, I embarked on my longest drive ever: back home, from Sydney to Melbourne, which is around a 700km drive. I managed to get the whole way without any problems. I crashed into my driveway. FML

#20577137
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41049) - you deserved it (7288)

On 04/06/2013 at 4:51am - health - by aaaaahhhh (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, in my job as an assistant at a music venue, I had to get posters signed by that night's performer. When I walked into the dressing room, I was told, "unless you're sucking my cock then get the fuck out of here" and had the posters slapped out of my hands. It's my job to deal with these pricks. FML

#20572312
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38187) - you deserved it (3400)

On 04/02/2013 at 9:26pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was proposed to, under the condition that I "get thin" first. FML

#20578323
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51186) - you deserved it (9651)

On 04/06/2013 at 11:19pm - love - by ziggers10 - United States

Today, I got so drunk I called my ex-boyfriend and confessed my love to him. All in front of my current boyfriend. FML

#20613766
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21874) - you deserved it (74037)

On 04/22/2013 at 6:31pm - love - by Out from Hell (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been cheating on me with two different guys. Her incredibly moving excuse was that she was getting "more experience" so she could please me better. FML

#20576526
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44407) - you deserved it (3672)

On 04/05/2013 at 6:58pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I was taking a walk, when an elderly lady in a motorized wheelchair slammed into me from behind. There was plenty of room to pass by, but noooo, trying to run me down like a dog, then giving me the finger and yelling "Watch where you're walking!" is so damn preferable. FML

#20591068
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44800) - you deserved it (4092)

On 04/14/2013 at 6:20pm - health - by danman (man) - United States

Today, my parents finally got married. At the after-party, my mother got drunk and informed me that even though she and my father were now married, it doesn't change the fact that I'm still a bastard. FML

#20631493
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45962) - you deserved it (3540)

On 04/29/2013 at 9:57pm - kids - by SierraCheyenne (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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