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March 2013

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Today I held hands with the boy I like!! Without thinking I commentd that his right hand is softer as if he only usd lotion on that one hand!! And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence!! FML

#20541635
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42016) - you deserved it (15733)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:57am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today a technician from my ISP cummed to my house to replace my router. He asked fir a glass of water one thing led to another an fir some reason I'll never fully understand we ended up having sex. Looks lyk porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. fat FML

#20537010
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21842) - you deserved it (62049)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, one of mah elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize u with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the looool look on his wife's face. FML

#20536627
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37366) - you deserved it (2871)

On 03/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my boyfriend startd coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelld, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

#20533607
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56005) - you deserved it (14673)

On 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by RedWaters - United States

Today, my wife packed my lunc . Inside of my luncbox was a poto of er eating my sandwices . FML

#20526564
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35578) - you deserved it (6795)

On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today I Awoke To Husband Talking To Someone On The Phone At 2am. I Heard Him Say, "Baby You're Making Me Hard." Immediately, I Asked Himho He Was Talking To. His Response? "It's Jake, From State Farm." FML

#20562846
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82545) - you deserved it (8550)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, it was raining eavily so I wore ma black ponco as I walkd to work. On te way tere I noticd an old and seemingly omeless man following me. I turnd around to confront im. He pickd up a stick and screamd "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. big fat FML

#20558527
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31409) - you deserved it (5906)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)

TODAY I WAS FEELING SICK AND FAINTD WHILE TEACHING MY KINDERGARTEN CLASS . I CUMMD TO WHEN ONE BOY POURD A CUP OF WATER ON MY FACE . THREE KIDS WERE CRYING INTO MY WALKIE TALKIE TELLING THE OFFICE I WAS DEAD, AND THE REST OF THE CLASS HAD DISAPPEARD . FML

#20556205
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44378) - you deserved it (3295)

On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)

Today, I was caught ( experimenting ) with mah friend at his house . His parents called mine, an mah dad cummed to drive me home . On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, ( Son, don't be ashamed . When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself . ) Thanks 4 the info, Dad . big fat FML

#20539287
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49644) - you deserved it (24526)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:33am - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today.. . I met the man of my dreams . We saw a movie.. . then went to a bar . It went perfectly.. . until he got wasted an started singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" to me while everyone laughed . Then I woke up.. . having just been Rickrolled by my own subconscious . FML

#20540752
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34717) - you deserved it (5183)

On 03/12/2013 at 12:43pm - misc - by ShadowBox (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, ma dad yet again uttered te words "well, tat escalated quickly,"ile watcing te news. He uses tis godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost ma sit an told im to just sut up already. He raised an eyebrow an said, "well, tat escalated quickly." FML

#20566988
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20920) - you deserved it (51746)

On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today... my psychopathic ex-girlfriend spray-painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van... knowing damn well I have to park it in front of an elementary school on a daily basis to pick up my daughter. FML

#20532616
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42129) - you deserved it (3949)

On 03/05/2013 at 7:07pm - kids - by cjw - United States



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