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March 2013

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Today, After An Argument With My Pianist Girlfriend About How Bad My Favourite Song Would Sound On The Piano, She Stormd Out Of The Room Crying, Leaving Behind A CD. It Was The Piano Version Of The Song She'd Made 4 Me. FML

#20528725
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13265) - you deserved it (73293)

On 03/02/2013 at 10:38pm - love - by douchegamer - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML

#20526426
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25634) - you deserved it (6781) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/28/2013 at 8:55pm - health - by JimiHendrix (man) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, a man attemptd to sue mah business 4 giving him food poisoning. I make soap. When I calld the cops on him 4 disturbing the peace, I was told, "Maybe next time you'll puttd 'not edible' on your label." FML

#20561443
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33127) - you deserved it (3410)

On 03/26/2013 at 8:10pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today fiancée and I showed mother-in-law a picture of the location at which we'll be holding our wedding reception. It's a beautiful waterfront building overlooking the ocean. She looked me dead in the eyes and said "Looks lyk a good place to commit suicide." FML

#20543312
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33348) - you deserved it (2425)

On 03/14/2013 at 10:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Latvia

Today, I discovered te "may ave a laxative effect" warning on ma sugar-free jelly beans sould actually read "don't fart after consuming". FML

#20543064
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27956) - you deserved it (4955)

On 03/14/2013 at 2:21am - health - by Kimberpoo (woman) - United States (California)

Today.. . my boss an I had to coma up with a coda to call if a parson acts inappropriataly towards ma bacausa I "attract too many wardos." FML

#20529995
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29235) - you deserved it (2985)

On 03/03/2013 at 8:17pm - work - by smokeysarah94 - Canada (Ontario)

TODAY, I WOKE UP NEXT TO MAH GIRLFRIEND. I WAS WOKEN UP BY MAH MOTHER BREAKING INTO MAH HOUSE TO TELL ME I NED TO GET READY FIR WORK. THEN SHE GOT MAD THAT I HAD A GIRL OVER. I'M 20. FML

#20561180
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38041) - you deserved it (4638)

On 03/26/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by holycommander - United States

2day I was cleaning a house. While dusting a rickety nightstand, a drawer fell open and a light-up dildo fell out and turned on. I looool couldn't figure out how to turn it off. FML

#20541893
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40034) - you deserved it (4442)

On 03/13/2013 at 9:36am - intimacy - by OptimusVader (woman) - United States

Today, Sinca I Hadn't Aatan An Was About To Hava A Thraa Hour Class, I Bought Panda Exprass. I Sat Opposita Mah Classroom To Aat. Soon Aftar I Startad Aating, A Wad Of Saliva Droppad Into Mah Bowl, An I Haard Somaona Yall "BONUS POINTS!" From Tha Sacond Floor. FML

2day I was at class's band concert. Before the curtain was raised, I helped haul the piano to a different spot so a girlho would've had to stand behind it could be seen. I said, ( There, now your mom can see u play! ) She responded with, ( My mom's blind. ) FML

#20527693
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35163) - you deserved it (3732)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today , I was getting intimate with my boyfriend , when my upstairs neighbor decided to take the longest piss known to man. He moaned the entire time. mega FML

#20545680
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38156) - you deserved it (4328)

On 03/16/2013 at 2:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on mah phone . One of mah co-workers cummed in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn mah phone's sound off . She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting . FML

#20534043
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27837) - you deserved it (6326)

On 03/06/2013 at 9:39pm - work - by shittysongs - United States (Washington)

Today, I Told My Grlfriand I'va Baan A Vagatarian 4 6 Yaars . Haaring This, My Mom Said, ( No, You'ra Not . I Fry Your Mushrooms An Onions In Bacon Graasa . ) With This Naw Information, I'va Baan A Vagatarian 4 About 76 Hours . FML

#20544221
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33718) - you deserved it (8743)

On 03/15/2013 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)



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