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March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend, whom I haven't heard from in a whole month, turned up at my door because it was apparently "steak and blowjob day." FML

#20543142
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48497) - you deserved it (8346)

On 03/14/2013 at 5:02am - intimacy - by howaboutno (woman) - United States

Today, while working my shift at Taco Bell, a creepy guy started flirting with me. He said, "You remind me of something," acting as if I knew him from elsewhere. I quickly said I used to work at Chili's. He shook his head and said, "No, not a person! An animal. A sloth maybe." FML

#20533458
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29635) - you deserved it (3670)

On 03/06/2013 at 12:19pm - work - by SlothyMolly - United States

Today, I was violently throwing up due to severe morning sickness. My boyfriend looked at me, then turned and walked away. In the end, my daughter gave me some paper towel and her juice. My 18-month-old is more supportive of my pregnancy than her 30-year-old father. FML

#20562509
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40653) - you deserved it (5851)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:34pm - misc - by InfamousLastWord (woman) - United States

Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML

#20555435
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38788) - you deserved it (18420)

On 03/22/2013 at 7:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend came over and dropped off my phone, which I'd left at his place the night before. He immediately left in a sulk. As I looked through my texts, I discovered he was only so moody because I hadn't answered any of his calls or messages. I'm dating an idiot. FML

#20535997
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35299) - you deserved it (5194)

On 03/08/2013 at 4:22pm - love - by Kiki (woman) - Poland (Malopolskie)

Today, I finished installing remote access CCTV cameras around my house due to the high rate of burglaries around my neighborhood. I turn it on to see my teenage son rubbing one out on the couch. FML

#20563419
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41160) - you deserved it (23364)

On 03/28/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by couch_potato (man) -

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML

#20558472
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36610) - you deserved it (9221)

On 03/24/2013 at 7:47pm - love - by fuckyoutoo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because he didn't trust himself not to cheat on me. What? FML

#20526676
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38997) - you deserved it (3946)

On 03/01/2013 at 7:02am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML

#20565796
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37591) - you deserved it (8424)

On 03/29/2013 at 5:36pm - love - by sarajj (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I decided to come onto my husband to switch things up. When I started kissing and trying to undress him, he pushed me off, saying "What're you doing? Jeopardy's about to start." FML

#20532214
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45087) - you deserved it (6359)

On 03/05/2013 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by married an old man - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend's daughter asked me what would happen if she chose to stop urinating for two weeks. She wanted to know whether it would kill her or just start coming out of her mouth. She's 17-years old, and was deadly serious. FML

#20536217
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36628) - you deserved it (3079)

On 03/08/2013 at 8:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)

Today, I was freshening up my makeup in the car before a date. An old lady walked by and said through my open window, "Don't bother. There's no helping you, honey." FML

#20559530
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39978) - you deserved it (4239)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:36pm - love - by f-ugly - United States

Today, my husband was arrested for having sex in public. FML

#20538233
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47735) - you deserved it (4639)

On 03/10/2013 at 2:50pm - love - by ifhehadadickforaheaditdbefuckingsmall (woman) - Cyprus (Nicosia)



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