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March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that my picture from a dating profile was so "hilarious" that people have been posting it on Instagram with mean captions. FML

#20557606
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37286) - you deserved it (5472)

On 03/24/2013 at 4:59am - misc - by And I'm still single - United States (California)

Today, while working my shift at Taco Bell, a creepy guy started flirting with me. He said, "You remind me of something," acting as if I knew him from elsewhere. I quickly said I used to work at Chili's. He shook his head and said, "No, not a person! An animal. A sloth maybe." FML

#20533458
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29462) - you deserved it (3654)

On 03/06/2013 at 12:19pm - work - by SlothyMolly - United States

Today, at college, I finally talked myself into confessing my feelings to a girl I really like. Her response was to threaten to sue me. For what, exactly? I have no goddamned idea. I just don't understand people anymore. FML

#20545151
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33494) - you deserved it (2986)

On 03/15/2013 at 6:43pm - love - by forever single, I guess (man) - United States

Today, my husband was arrested for having sex in public. FML

#20538233
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45403) - you deserved it (4447)

On 03/10/2013 at 2:50pm - love - by ifhehadadickforaheaditdbefuckingsmall (woman) - Cyprus (Nicosia)

Today, my superstitious girlfriend of 4 years sneezed in the middle of my proposal. She claimed it was a sign from the universe for us to break up and then immediately left. FML

#20550300
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44695) - you deserved it (3386)

On 03/19/2013 at 12:40am - love - by lanz4949 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I told my husband that a guy I work with told me that I'm the most beautiful woman he has ever met. My husband replied, "He needs to get out more." FML

Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I started singing and harmonizing with the vacuum cleaner. FML

#20551821
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25585) - you deserved it (4299)

On 03/20/2013 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, my brother yelled at me, calling me a "no-good fucking whore", because I couldn't fix his laptop. The same laptop he threw on the floor after screaming "FUCKING HEAL MEEE!" at his game. As ever, my parents took his side, refusing to believe that I can't fix a cracked monitor. FML

#20539298
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38700) - you deserved it (2383)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:57am - misc - by cunts, cunts everywhere - Australia

Today, I went out to Applebees with a girl I like and a group of friends. Someone asked if the girl and I were dating. She instantly replied with a bit of disgust "What? No way, never!" It would have been nice to know before paying for the last ten or so dates we went on. FML

Today, my boyfriend, whom I haven't heard from in a whole month, turned up at my door because it was apparently "steak and blowjob day." FML

#20543142
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46196) - you deserved it (8056)

On 03/14/2013 at 5:02am - intimacy - by howaboutno (woman) - United States

Today, my boss threatened to fire me because of a tattoo I have. It's a small teddy bear on my leg with my parents' names on it. My workplace has no problems with tattoos, but my boss said it was "unoriginal and lame." It's a memorial tattoo; my parents died last year. FML

#20560852
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48864) - you deserved it (3041)

On 03/26/2013 at 10:54am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I spent three hours painstakingly installing and configuring some parental control software on my 11-year-old son's laptop after I caught him watching porn. Barely an hour after returning the laptop, I caught him watching yet more porn on it. FML

#20557646
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31281) - you deserved it (12751)

On 03/24/2013 at 6:30am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while in a public bathroom, I threw out my back. A stranger had to help me pull up my pants. FML

#20563612
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33402) - you deserved it (2445)

On 03/28/2013 at 9:52am - health - by paulinapo - United States (New York)



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  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

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