Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, the highlight of my day was when I found that there was finally toilet paper in the cubicle at work. FML

#20563464
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27695) - you deserved it (2793)

On 03/28/2013 at 5:57am - work - by Paperboy (man) - Bosnia and Herzegovina (Federation of Bosnia and Herzego)

Today, in an attempt to break up with my boyfriend, I told him, "I don't feel a mental connection between us." His reply? "Why do we need a mental connection?" FML

#20548471
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26831) - you deserved it (9492)

On 03/17/2013 at 10:45pm - love - by just physical - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my neighbour's puppy has developed separation anxiety. Every time my neighbour leaves for work, the puppy constantly whines and barks until he gets home. He works night shifts. FML

#20532315
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32406) - you deserved it (2148)

On 03/05/2013 at 2:58pm - animals - by sotired - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I filled out an application for a job at Dairy Queen. I handed my application to the manager along with my résumé, and he said he'd be in contact with me. Not even five minutes after I left, a friend who works there sent me a picture of my crumpled-up application in the trash. FML

#20526818
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34849) - you deserved it (2533)

On 03/01/2013 at 10:52am - work - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was reciting lines for a play that I'm in. It was going great, until I realized that I was actually reciting my scripted sales pitch from my telemarketing job. FML

#20533106
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23479) - you deserved it (7433)

On 03/06/2013 at 12:44am - misc - by sales ham (man) - United States

Today, I moved back to my home town. My best friend and I had arranged to rent a house together that we both liked. I finished my last day at work and made the three-hour drive, only for her to break down and tell me that she isn't "ready" to move out of her parents' basement. She's 25. FML

#20540831
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31604) - you deserved it (2558)

On 03/12/2013 at 2:35pm - misc - by Hopelesshomeless (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I sat through an incredibly long and tedious class lecture. Just as my professor was nearing the end of his lecture, the resident stoner loudly yawned and asked what we'd been talking about for the past hour. We got to hear most of the lecture all over again. FML

#20535789
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28632) - you deserved it (2160)

On 03/08/2013 at 12:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, I went to the store for a warranty claim on my prescription glasses due to little spots that had appeared on the lenses, covering both. It took 2 seconds for the employee to determine that it was hairspray. FML

#20534438
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7005) - you deserved it (38828)

On 03/07/2013 at 6:51am - misc - by jmrz - Puerto Rico

Today, my 3 year old woke up at 2 am and refused to go back to sleep unless she could sleep with her father and me. Normally we would have said no, but both of us being so tired, we said yes. She slowly kicked me out of my side of the bed and now I have to sleep on the couch. FML

Today, at work while near a cigarette tray outside, a man said, "Thanks for polluting our environment!" All I could say was, "What?" He then said "I'm speaking English you know!" I was cleaning the cigarette tray at the time, don't smoke at all, and was born here. FML

#20564434
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32938) - you deserved it (2471)

On 03/28/2013 at 8:57pm - work - by TVKill3r (man) - United States

Today, my roommates decided to hold an intervention. They told me I would have to break up with my boyfriend because they don't want people having sex in our apartment during college exams. My boyfriend agreed. FML

#20558428
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38443) - you deserved it (5104)

On 03/24/2013 at 7:21pm - intimacy - by Tooloud (woman) - Canada

Today, my fiancé called me as I was clocking out. I thought he was going to tell me that he was waiting outside. Instead, he told me that he's getting arrested and needs me to call his mom for him. FML

#20529036
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27780) - you deserved it (2667)

On 03/03/2013 at 3:27am - misc - by addie (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up with a giant red rash all over my face, so puffed up that I could hardly open my eyes. The doctor said it was probably from some of the compounds found in most makeup. I'm just getting into theatre and have auditions coming up. FML

#20549343
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30987) - you deserved it (3609)

On 03/18/2013 at 2:42pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



Juliette Bubulle's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Juliette's illustrated FML
  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

Friday 29 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: