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November 2012

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Today, ma dad asked me to send ma mom a text since e was driving and I was in te passenger seat . I pulled up ma mom's contact on is pone, and I found tat ma mom ad recently sent ma dad a picture of er jugs, along wit te message, "We miss you."

#20164798
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28033) - you deserved it (2319)

On 11/15/2012 at 9:45pm - love - by Sexting Parents - United States (New Jersey)

TODAY... I WATCHD MAH NEIGHBOR SHAKE CAT FOOD CALLING... "COME HERE MOLLIE" AT HIS BACK DOOR. I THEN SAW MAH OWN CAT RUN INTO HIS HOUSE. I NOW KNOW WHY MAH CAT IS SO FAT AN NEVER REPLIES TO ME CALLING HER BONNIE. I GUESS I'M BEING CHEATD ON. FML

#20158567
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24181) - you deserved it (2482)

On 11/11/2012 at 5:10am - animals - by kitty - Australia

Today, mah cat was too overwieght to get out of the litter box, so he gave up, an went to sleep. I had to pick him up out of his own waste an clean him up. FML

#20175044
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12406) - you deserved it (25127)

On 11/23/2012 at 10:10am - animals - by Jeanna S. - United States

Today , drunk at a party , I leaned through a window to throw up . I was outside . FML

#20182175
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8821) - you deserved it (28596) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/28/2012 at 1:20am - health - by kise - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was going to give baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard an spat them out, realizing boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML

#20184636
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31983) - you deserved it (9015)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by lizzard0416 - Canada (Alberta)

Taday I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day... grlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly... and I screamed lyk a little grl. 30 people watched... 4 people filmed. FML

#20179414
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10373) - you deserved it (21638)

On 11/26/2012 at 5:26am - misc - by Z (man) - Australia

Today, I heard a teenage boy ask his friend, ( So, is it, like, November in Australia too? ) This is the future of America.

#20179140
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24957) - you deserved it (2473)

On 11/26/2012 at 12:27am - kids - by toritoratora - United States (California)

Today, mah husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up mah backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the waterhen he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML

#20181043
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28348) - you deserved it (1622)

On 11/27/2012 at 9:32am - misc - by Cracky - United States (Maryland)

Today Ma Girlfriend Looked Me Straigt In Te Eye An Said, "I Know About Te Sea Turtles." I Asked Er Wat Se Was Talking About An Se Said, "Next Time, Sut Up Or I'll Sow You Pain." I Ave No Idea Wat Se's Talking About. FML

#20170012
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21991) - you deserved it (2062)

On 11/19/2012 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walkd in on mah son teabagging his sister over a video game. FML

#20156633
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23700) - you deserved it (3033)

On 11/09/2012 at 7:30pm - kids - by john r.t. (man) - United States (Texas)

today I brought a fluorescent tube to the store to make sure I got the correct replacement . Trying to charm the sexy cashier, I waved the tube in the air, saying "I need a new light sabre, there is no force left in this one and the Empire is attacking." Turns out she'd never heard of Star Wars . FML

#20162883
277 comments

I arrived home after a hard day's work to see mah 12-year-old sister had greased up mah 8-year-old brother with butter and olive oil, and was attempting to slide him down the wooden floorboards in the hallway. FML

#20161557
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20411) - you deserved it (2024)

On 11/13/2012 at 5:00am - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML

#20173351
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20967) - you deserved it (3703)

On 11/22/2012 at 1:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States



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