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March 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

#21368964
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43086) - you deserved it (19487)

On 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML

#21369938
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32534) - you deserved it (3032)

On 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by killme (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while walking out of a store eating a candy bar, a homeless man tried to run up and steal my candy. I stuck a leg out and tripped him. The only thing I could think of to yell at him was, "Swiper no Swiping". My kids have ruined my coolness. FML

#21366982
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6) - you deserved it (4)

On 03/02/2015 at 11:57pm - misc - by Dad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML

#21367918
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5) - you deserved it (3)

On 03/04/2015 at 10:03am - health - by actually just constipated.. and stupid - Tunisia

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, some homeless person came up to the window and started doing a voice-over. FML

#21374736
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41) - you deserved it (9405)

On 03/14/2015 at 11:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

#21382840
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35102) - you deserved it (2438)

On 03/28/2015 at 5:20am - intimacy - by soontobewidow (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

#21379710
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31915) - you deserved it (6483)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm - misc - by oooooops (man) - United States

Today, I was turned down from the dream job that I was promised two years ago, once my chemo and radiation therapy was finished. His excuse? He never actually expected me to survive. FML

#21366066
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45718) - you deserved it (2107)

On 03/01/2015 at 6:36pm - work - by kysier (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went to get a physical, forgetting I'd shaved my pubes the day before and still had bad razor burn. My doctor told me I had "dicken pox" and was prescribing me with shaving cream. FML

#21371826
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26993) - you deserved it (6347)

On 03/10/2015 at 12:45pm - health - by parkoursam - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got a haircut. The guy quickly cut off most of the hair above my forehead. When I angrily asked him what he was doing, he said, "Quitting." FML

#21369589
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11) - you deserved it (2015)

On 03/06/2015 at 10:22pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, after telling my parents that I want to be a vegetarian, I got grounded. Apparently, "black people can't be vegetarians" and, I'm "crazy for even suggesting something like that." FML

#21378047
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31895) - you deserved it (4593)

On 03/19/2015 at 10:23pm - misc - by shawnsmuffins - United States (Florida)

Today, my teacher took my test along with another student's and gave us both a zero. Why? Because we both have colds so when we breathe through our nose it makes a sniffle noise. She thought we were using a secret code to communicate by sniffling. FML

#21380083
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35839) - you deserved it (2221)

On 03/23/2015 at 11:43am - misc - by Mr. Sniffles - United States (Ohio)



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