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February 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML

#21354315
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18610) - you deserved it (35314)

On 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm - misc - by SDCore (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML

#21349028
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34186) - you deserved it (2322)

On 02/03/2015 at 1:23pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I hit my head on the steering wheel when I sneezed. I managed to honk the horn and the guy next to me couldn't stop laughing. FML

#21361311
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30022) - you deserved it (4395)

On 02/22/2015 at 8:41pm - misc - by headache - United States

Today, my daughter got her first period. Nobody was home but my husband. He didn't know what to do, except give her a sponge to put in her underwear. FML

#21356191
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35099) - you deserved it (3383)

On 02/14/2015 at 7:34pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML

#21361122
451 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41611) - you deserved it (3906)

On 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up with my penis taped inside a milk bottle. Yes, I'm as baffled as you are. FML

#21350665
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29160) - you deserved it (4809)

On 02/05/2015 at 11:14pm - misc - by Milked Richard (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at work, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head on my cash register. A second later, I heard roaring laughter from the security room, followed by someone saying to play it back. I'd almost convinced myself it wasn't about me, when one of the guys came out and gave me a thumb up. FML

#21349710
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33573) - you deserved it (2970)

On 02/04/2015 at 2:28pm - work - by fxck (woman) -

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to give me a naked massage. She straddled my back and started rubbing, then she sneezed and peed on me. FML

#21348755
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40148) - you deserved it (4165)

On 02/02/2015 at 11:36pm - love - by bootyislife - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that my 2-year-old brother is afraid of his own penis. Whenever he doesn't have a diaper on, he screams, cries and yells, "Ew". FML

#21347945
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29987) - you deserved it (2450)

On 02/01/2015 at 7:43pm - health - by okseñoryoucrazy - United States (Washington)

Today, in a desperate attempt to get fired, I sent a sexual love letter to my boss. We're going on our first date tomorrow. FML

#21350765
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19752) - you deserved it (35874)

On 02/06/2015 at 3:06am - work - by fucked - Singapore

Today, I am still finding glitter in my ass crack after a concert last night that had a confetti cannon. Thanks Marilyn Manson, I feel so metal now. FML

#21363653
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23644) - you deserved it (4849)

On 02/25/2015 at 11:21pm - misc - by fredi - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my bed fell through my floor. With me on it. FML

#21352624
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34017) - you deserved it (3038)

On 02/09/2015 at 8:26am - misc - by wtf?? - Saint Vincent and the Grenadines

Today, hours after being turned down for sex, I woke up to my boyfriend sitting at the computer, jacking off to a picture of my deceased mom. FML

#21351381
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45827) - you deserved it (3752)

On 02/07/2015 at 6:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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Friday 27 February 2015

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