[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

February 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920 (249)

I agree, your life sucks (26751) - you deserved it (1454)

On 02/02/2012 at 6:32am - misc - by aliezzedine (man) - Lebanon

Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML

#19000148 (288)

I agree, your life sucks (11183) - you deserved it (1101)

On 02/05/2012 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I received a single, handmade valentines card from the weirdest kid in the school. It said, "If you ever get mauled by a bear, I hope he doesn't damage your face." FML

#18988741 (253)

I agree, your life sucks (6865) - you deserved it (1464)

On 02/04/2012 at 12:12am - love - by Jayde - United States (Texas)

Today, I was using a restroom when I heard someone sneeze. I said, "Bless you." It happened again about three times, so I repeated myself each time. I then noticed it was an automatic air freshener. FML

#18981474 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (3720) - you deserved it (5450)

On 02/03/2012 at 12:25am - misc - by coleslaw (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, at around 2am, I was walking through a parking lot to my car when a man walking behind me told me not to be scared. I turned around to tell him there was no problem. He was naked. FML

#18991669 (206)

I agree, your life sucks (8494) - you deserved it (722) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/04/2012 at 11:39am - misc - by DarkDolly - France

Today, after my credit card was stolen, the thief made donations to charitable associations. Now I feel bad for asking for the money back. FML

#18973351 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (9876) - you deserved it (879)

On 02/01/2012 at 11:35pm - money - by zobara - Switzerland

Today, my girlfriend openly mocked me, calling me an idiot for thinking seahorses are real. She insists that they're like unicorns, and only exist in fiction. FML

#19011478 (382)

I agree, your life sucks (9760) - you deserved it (1130)

On 02/06/2012 at 4:52pm - animals - by BoringFucker (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I sat in my boss' office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML

#19042299 (215)

I agree, your life sucks (1605) - you deserved it (14385)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:33pm - work - by great - United States

Today, I woke up to one of my hamsters cannibalizing the other. FML

#18984075 (250)

I agree, your life sucks (9592) - you deserved it (1140)

On 02/03/2012 at 1:29pm - animals - by deadhamster - United States

Today, I had to tell my mom to stop sending pictures of Jesus to my boyfriend. FML

#19052034 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (7054) - you deserved it (569)

On 02/11/2012 at 10:01pm - love - by Anon - United States (Arizona)

Today, my husband started a food fight. During our wedding reception. FML

#19033421 (156)

I agree, your life sucks (7142) - you deserved it (1338)

On 02/09/2012 at 10:17am - love - by Zoey (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML

#18966203 (109)

I agree, your life sucks (7104) - you deserved it (1524)

On 02/01/2012 at 1:13am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML

#19064415 (192)

I agree, your life sucks (1527) - you deserved it (8253)

On 02/13/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by SpLo0gIeR - United States

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.