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January 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out my boyfriend dresses in my underwear and tights, takes suggestive shots of his ass and legs, and uses them to trick people into thinking he's a girl so they buy him stuff in his online games. FML

#21340885
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31976) - you deserved it (3379)

On 01/20/2015 at 10:08am - misc - by mybfthecrossdresser (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, my mom paid me a surprise visit me at my university dorm. She ended up rifling through my stuff and started to pull out a box from on top of my wardrobe. Before I could stop her, it slipped and fell. Today's forecast: 100% chance of dildo rain. FML

#21338507
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31446) - you deserved it (4494)

On 01/16/2015 at 8:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I signed into my online class, got bored, and took off my headphones to argue with my roommates about anal sex. At the end of the argument, I put my headphones back on to hear my professor asking if someone could call me to tell me to turn my damn mic off. FML

Today, just to win a bet against my mum that he could make me scream like a bitch, my dad faked his own suicide. He went the whole mile: fake blood everywhere, fake gun, yelling "Goodbye!" and playing a loud gunshot sound effect from his PC, everything. My dad won; my underwear lost. FML

#21339686
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37610) - you deserved it (3275)

On 01/18/2015 at 4:58pm - misc - by pissed out pants (man) - United Kingdom

Today, a girl from class screamed at me in public for hugging the guy she likes. She threatened to take me out if I didn't "back off". That guy is my boyfriend. FML

#21333251
112 comments

Today, we got a new Roomba. I set it to clean and came back an hour later to find shit smears all over the floor. Apparently, one of my cats had done his business in the kitchen, and the Roomba had dragged it around the entire first floor of my house. FML

#21336619
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31745) - you deserved it (4957)

On 01/13/2015 at 8:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, my father was playing with my son and his toy animals. He picked one up and said, "What is this? Some kind of African horse?" It was a zebra. FML

Today, I had a sneeze attack while my nose was bleeding. Now my living room looks like a crime scene. FML

#21332502
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33744) - you deserved it (2792)

On 01/07/2015 at 2:07am - misc - by MonsterProblems (woman) - Croatia

Today, after I got home from a long day at work. I go inside my room and find a life-size cut out of Miley Cyrus. I don't know how it got here. I'm the only person with a key to my apartment. FML

#21345231
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21412) - you deserved it (1493)

On 01/27/2015 at 6:46pm - misc - by I'm screwed - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my 15 year old sister asked which animal rice comes from. She believed every word when my mum told her it's harvested from tiny cows in Asia. FML

#21340484
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27241) - you deserved it (2256)

On 01/19/2015 at 7:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my crush was giving me a ride home. As we pulled up to my house, he looked into my eyes with a sweet smile and said the words every girl wants to hear - "Do you give head?" FML

#21339980
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33692) - you deserved it (5213)

On 01/19/2015 at 12:35am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, I refused to serve a woman alcohol, as she looked underage. She complained to my manager about "age racism". FML

#21335591
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30124) - you deserved it (2215)

On 01/12/2015 at 3:23am - work - by nick (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)



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