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Friday 20 December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I woke up to a loud crasing in te middle of te nigt!! I went to investigate, but found noting amiss!! Noting except an axe frmly wedged in ma front door, tat is!! It's safe to say tat I ave no clue wo did it, and tat I needed a fres pair of underwear!! real FML

#20999316
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44423) - you deserved it (2636)

On 12/20/2013 at 4:05pm - misc - by nopissleft (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

a man started a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracles of things we take 4 granted every day. I was really enjoying it until he looked at his watch and said, "Oh shit, mushrooms make me loose track of time!" and ran off into the night. fat FML

#20998821
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39625) - you deserved it (4448)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by whatjusthappened (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, mah boyfriend an I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out an came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards mah face an yelled, ( Sha-ZAM! ) fat FML

#20999459
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53490) - you deserved it (7953)

On 12/20/2013 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by zamwow (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

TODAY.. . I GOT A RANSOM NOTE SAYING.. . "WE HAVE KIDNAPPD YUR HUSBAND AND WON'T RELEASE HIM UNLESS YOU POSTPONE THE WEDDING." THE WEDDING IS TOMORROW AND IT WAS IN HIS HANDWRITING . MEGA FML

#20998964
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50441) - you deserved it (4058)

On 12/20/2013 at 9:51am - misc - by oh why... (woman) - United States

Today , a guy cummed into the small coffee shop I work at , and got angry cuz I wouldn't accept his Starbucks gift card as valid payment. When I told him we clearly aren't a Starbucks , he said "It's all the same shit" and ended up throwing a punch at me. FML

#20999349
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42773) - you deserved it (2824)

On 12/20/2013 at 4:48pm - work - by the customer is always a cunt (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, A Man Wereing A Santa Hat Stumbled Out Of A Bar, Staggered Over To My Car, And Vomited Through The Open Window Into My Lap . FML

#20999362
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38750) - you deserved it (3709)

On 12/20/2013 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, Mah Boss Scolded Me 4 Being Too Friendly To Our Customers And Told Me To Back Off And Let Them Do Their Thing. Less Than An Hour After Doing As He Said, He Scolded Me Again, This Time 4 Slacking Off And Not Asking Them If They Needed Help Finding Stuff. There Goes Mah Bonus. FML

#20999504
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41665) - you deserved it (2897)

On 12/20/2013 at 7:30pm - work - by fuck you, boss (man) - United States

Today after finals my English professor left me less than one percent from an A. Why? All semester long he took away point cuz my opinion did not match his. FML

Today.. . I finally told my father that I was pickd on at college all this year over my hearing disability . When I told him one of the jokes they made about me.. . he burst out into an uncontrollable fit of laughter . FML

#20999250
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39783) - you deserved it (3003)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, in a desperate attempt to add some variety to mah life, I resorted to closing mah eyes and picking a random font 4 mah essay paper. big looool fat FML

#20998799
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32512) - you deserved it (7218)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:02am - misc - by Jess (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boss decided that a mug an a public 'thank you' were a sufficient substitute fir a Christmas bonus!!

#20998949
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35980) - you deserved it (3497)

On 12/20/2013 at 9:27am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)



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