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Tuesday 26 November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boss's obese bully of a grandson had a seizure. Being the only physician around, I had to rush in to tend to him. Except it wasn't a seizure as such. My daughter had found my taser and used it on him. FML

#20971381
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44749) - you deserved it (4723)

On 11/26/2013 at 2:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my coworkers were bored. To solve this, they taped me to a chair and tried tickling me to death. My boss joined in. FML

#20971859
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40063) - you deserved it (4079)

On 11/26/2013 at 10:11pm - work - by tortured (man) - United States

Today, I logged onto Facebook to see one of my "friends" had used my account to post a coming-out story. It had comments on it such as "I knew it!" "Finally." and "That explains so much." FML

#20970954
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40042) - you deserved it (4425)

On 11/26/2013 at 12:21am - misc - by Thanks guys - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my boyfriend has a fetish for cats. I think I'm going to have to meow before we do anything together. FML

#20971142
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41074) - you deserved it (5150)

On 11/26/2013 at 7:17am - intimacy - by HaedLei (woman) - United States

Today, I was searched and questioned at the airport for having an apple. FML

#20971832
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37891) - you deserved it (4256)

On 11/26/2013 at 9:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to pick up my little brother from his friend's house. When I got there, he ran off screaming that he didn't know me. His friend's parents believed him. FML

#20971159
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41612) - you deserved it (2858)

On 11/26/2013 at 8:07am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom told me that when my sister and I were born, the first thing my dad said was, "I hope they don't turn out vegetarian." I did. FML

#20971339
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36759) - you deserved it (9138)

On 11/26/2013 at 1:35pm - misc - by fack (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I arrived home after leaving for college in August. My dad figured that the most appropriate way to welcome me back was a loud, piercing fart right when I walked through the front door. FML

#20971993
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32562) - you deserved it (4835)

On 11/26/2013 at 11:42pm - misc - by squirts -

Today, my ex's mom got a job as our new soccer coach and recognized me from our New Year's party last year. She made me, and me alone, do 10 laps around the field in the rain for breaking her son's heart. FML

#20971434
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46766) - you deserved it (11427)

On 11/26/2013 at 3:00pm - love - by Amanda (woman) - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend to a scary movie, hoping I could comfort her at a scary part. Instead when a scary part came on, she reacted by throwing up all over my lap and the person in front of us. FML

#20970980
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40249) - you deserved it (7879)

On 11/26/2013 at 12:50am - love - by xHoho (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I had a family get-together for my birthday. I got to watch all my family members get piss-drunk and argue over who's having the worst time. FML

#20971273
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37324) - you deserved it (3132)

On 11/26/2013 at 11:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)



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