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Monday 17 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrivd in the mail. We burid her yesterday. FML

#20731352
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69259) - you deserved it (3975)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

2day I returned ome from a mont long trip overseas to find tat brd sitter as trained parrot to wisper , "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML

#20731669
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49385) - you deserved it (6474)

On 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29 , my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

#20731946
440 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59441) - you deserved it (37108)

On 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm - kids - by young grandpa - United States (Georgia)

Today mah grandparents went around bragging to people that I'm taking mah STD test. They meant to say SAT. FML

#20731460
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48041) - you deserved it (2917)

On 06/17/2013 at 1:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today... I found out that looool the same police officer who has arrested me twice has been sleeping with my wife. FML

#20731650
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74664) - you deserved it (6780)

On 06/17/2013 at 3:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I went to a new bar with friends. After arriving I became extremely gassy; I planned a smooth release during the loud music. Little did I know the bar occasionally dips its music to hear the guests singing. When the music turned off all eyes turned to me. FML

#20731175
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42539) - you deserved it (13913)

On 06/17/2013 at 9:55am - health - by nomwar (woman) - United States

Today, I lost mah virginity . Not only did mah parents somehow find out, they posted about it on Facebook . looool FML

#20730822
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49038) - you deserved it (10212)

On 06/17/2013 at 1:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, Daughter Had Ice Cream While I Was Napping!! She Didn't Want Me To Know So She Put The Bowl In The Trashcan An Put The Spoon In The Garbage Disposal An Turnd It On, Because She Thought It Would Make The Spoon Disappear!! FML

#20730678
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42655) - you deserved it (5353)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:33am - kids - by cherbear1000 - United States (Maryland)

Today, my dad refused to believe that the Animal Planet's mermaid mockumentaries were faked. Instead he got into a huge argument with me, claiming the government is covering up the existence of mermaids and must've threatened the producers to keep it quiet. FML

#20730804
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36510) - you deserved it (5075)

On 06/17/2013 at 1:42am - misc - by Idontbelieveinmagic (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today , I startd ma naw job as a casiar for a drugstora. As I scannd soma cildran's madicina for a family , I gava ta grl a tissua bacausa ar nosa was running. Latar , ma boss sat ma down an told ma tara ad baan a complaint about a ( famala pado-amployaa ). I'm ta only woman working tara. FML

#20732082
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40639) - you deserved it (2409)

On 06/17/2013 at 8:27pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today... getting off a bus... it was pouring rain so I got my umbrella out. A man elbowed me in the gut and grabbed it. When I told my mom about it she said... ( That's New York... get over it. ) FML

#20731128
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40932) - you deserved it (5145)

On 06/17/2013 at 8:46am - misc - by newyorkers - United States (New York)

I was packing up mah stuff about to go home. I shut off mah MacBook but was still pretending to work 4 the last few minutes, typing on the keyboard. A good way through, I realizd mah co-worker sitting across from me could see that the Apple logo was off. mega FML

#20732510
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16390) - you deserved it (42426)

On 06/17/2013 at 8:55pm - work - by awk1 - United States (Georgia)



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