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Tuesday 11 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML

Today, I took my pet rabbit to the vet because I had noticed his genitals looked swollen compared to my other rabbit's. It turns out he's just "gifted". The vet laughed at me. FML

#20719275
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43351) - you deserved it (6610)

On 06/11/2013 at 10:00am - animals - by Rjlup - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend asked if I could grow out my pubic hair since I usually wax it. He said his mom has a full bush and he always thought it looks better that way. FML

#20719191
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83907) - you deserved it (6901)

On 06/11/2013 at 8:00am - intimacy - by notyourmom (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, after years of faking pleasure with my boyfriend, I visited the gynaecologist. As soon as she touched my privates I instinctively let out a fake moan. FML

#20720590
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34844) - you deserved it (71632)

On 06/11/2013 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by instinct (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time. The minute I stepped in the door his mother hit me in the face and kicked me out because I was "the slut her husband cheated on her with." My older sister and I look much alike. Too much alike. FML

#20719355
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62359) - you deserved it (4179)

On 06/11/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mother came into my workplace to wail on me for "ruining our family's reputation" because I got a girl pregnant. I've been married to the "girl" for 8 years. FML

#20720453
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58803) - you deserved it (2900)

On 06/11/2013 at 10:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I decided to try wearing eyeshadow, even though I'm not that girly. When I asked for help after several failed attempts, my sister walked in and said, "It's easy, just do what I do." She put the makeup on herself and looked amazing. She's eight. FML

#20719423
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47580) - you deserved it (6236)

On 06/11/2013 at 12:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to get an HPV vaccine after being convinced to by my mom. I stayed in the waiting room afterwards, because the vaccine has the possible side-effect of causing fainting. I didn't faint; instead, I spent the next 15 minutes giggling uncontrollably like a psycho. FML

#20719679
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42999) - you deserved it (5146)

On 06/11/2013 at 2:41pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, as I was walking home, I saw an ambulance pull into my driveway with its sirens blaring. Thinking it could be for my sick father, I started frantically sprinting. I managed to trip on my pant-leg, twisting my ankle in the process. They were just turning around in my driveway. FML

#20718780
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46858) - you deserved it (4230)

On 06/11/2013 at 12:12am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I started my job at a kids summer camp. The first little girl to arrive told me to close my eyes and open my hand because she had a "surprise" for me. Yep, a dead, decomposed sparrow covered in all sorts of bugs sure is a surprise. FML

#20718832
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41550) - you deserved it (5161)

On 06/11/2013 at 12:39am - kids - by sydneyp3435 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was giving a presentation to my college class. I've had a natural stutter my whole life, so I stuttered through the whole thing. My professor tried to hold in her laughter for 15 minutes. FML

#20719870
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44554) - you deserved it (2428)

On 06/11/2013 at 4:36pm - work - by stutterboy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was looking forward to my only day to sleep-in this month while I'm balancing school and work. I was rudely awakened at 6 am by my sister and her friend trying to make pancakes, burning them, and setting off the fire alarm in my house for half an hour. FML

#20720351
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42344) - you deserved it (2682)

On 06/11/2013 at 9:16pm - misc - by Elephant1718 - United States (Oregon)



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