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Tuesday 23 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79622) - you deserved it (4090)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, I walked in on my brother giving his best friend a hand-job. I can't unsee this. FML

Today, I discovered why my boss kept on scheduling me to work doubles almost every day. It wasn't because she knew I needed the extra money; she was hoping that my boyfriend would break up with me because I'm never home, and date her instead. It worked. FML

#20615252
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65389) - you deserved it (4212)

On 04/23/2013 at 4:17am - love - by mybossisanass (woman) - United States

Today, I decided to be playful and leave my girlfriend flowers and chocolates from an "Anonymous Admirer". She immediately dumped me, saying she couldn't be with someone who "isn't even as romantic as a stranger". Yep, I think I just got dumped for myself. FML

#20616571
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55203) - you deserved it (7873)

On 04/23/2013 at 7:22pm - love - by BestBF - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my pregnant wife paged my emergency line at work. Thinking she was in serious danger, I raced home and found her hysterically crying. When I asked her what was going on, she replied, "The dogs won't stop barking!" FML

#20615372
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48343) - you deserved it (5807)

On 04/23/2013 at 7:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while practicing a song in choir, I got a boner. Trying to cover it up, I tried sitting down. My choir teacher got mad and made me stand in front of the whole class. FML

#20615694
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70215) - you deserved it (9273)

On 04/23/2013 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by Soundofaboner - United States

Today, I went to my grandmom's house for an hour or so. When I came home, my boyfriend was on the bed, covered in the sheets and about to cry. Turns out he taped his ballsack to his leg and couldn't get it off because it "hurts too much." I'm 24 and he's 26. FML

#20616232
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36764) - you deserved it (5033)

On 04/23/2013 at 5:07pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I took my Spanish test, and I felt very confident. I got the test back later, and saw my teacher had written on it: "Congrats on the 94%, but I know you cheated." FML

#20615717
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47357) - you deserved it (6966)

On 04/23/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother and I saw a stall selling colourful treats at the shopping centre. Some were placed on small dishes, so we thought we'd sample their goods. Turns out that the colourful goodies that we'd bit into were very creative pieces of soap. FML

#20615670
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19115) - you deserved it (41237)

On 04/23/2013 at 11:49am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I removed the side rails from my truck because I didn't think I really needed them. An hour later, I went to Wal-Mart, forgot they were gone, and busted my ass in public while getting out of my truck. FML

#20615692
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17941) - you deserved it (39683)

On 04/23/2013 at 12:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had a note to skip P.E. that my grandpa had written because my mom was busy. His handwriting is terrible, so they didn't believe that he'd written it. I'd twisted my ankle and I got to run another mile for "lying". FML

#20615089
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46032) - you deserved it (3785)

On 04/23/2013 at 1:25am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I answered a call at work from a very irate gentleman. After being shouted and sworn at profusely, I ended the call in a slightly less than civil manner. Turns out that guy is one of our company's biggest clients. FML

#20615900
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28068) - you deserved it (40014)

On 04/23/2013 at 2:25pm - work - by hatemyjob (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today my ex-boyfriend accepted my mother's offer to have his wedding in our backyard. FML

#20616531
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47006) - you deserved it (3654)

On 04/23/2013 at 7:04pm - love - by traitor (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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