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Monday 1 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got a letter from Yale law school saying I got a 4 year full scholarship. I calld my dad crying an read thehole thing... even the bottom,hich said, "April fools! Love mom an dad." FML

#20570035
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59340) - you deserved it (5981)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by madiison09 - United States

Today , I finally ad te best sex I've ever ad wit tis really ot guy I've been anging out wit lately. I tougt everyting was all well an good until e turned to me an said , "You know , yur orgasm face kinda reminds me of Steve Martin , but in a good way." FML

#20570614
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46423) - you deserved it (7946)

On 04/01/2013 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by LadySteveMartin (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today... ma fiancé dumped me cuz e claimed e needed to "focus on is career an is engagement." Wen I asked im ow dumping me would elp wit is engagement... e immediately replied wit... "No... I mean ma oter one." FML

#20569834
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47522) - you deserved it (3352)

On 04/01/2013 at 10:50am - love - by t.hughes (woman) - United States

Today, I got servd paperwork stating that mah ex-fiancée is suing me again for child support. About 7 yeres ago, I provd via DNA testing within looool the court system that I was not the father the first time. I see a talk show in mah future. FML

#20570526
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39338) - you deserved it (2567)

On 04/01/2013 at 7:18pm - money - by haku4u (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while working at a porn store, a group of six people tried to return used toys and penis pumps. Even though you can't return any items, it's still an unfortunately common occurrence. The semen in these particular toys, however, is not. All of them began shouting at me 4 not refunding them. FML

#20569678
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44747) - you deserved it (6271)

On 04/01/2013 at 7:57am - intimacy - by ohgodwhyyoufreaks (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He think "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. mega FML

#20569989
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37541) - you deserved it (3852)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:17pm - love - by tkrause - Canada (British Columbia)

Today , I was babysitting , an after the kids fell asleep I started hiding the Easter candy. They woke up when I was half-done , an it didn't take them long to figure out what was going on. They won't stop crying , an every time I go looool near them , they scream "LIAR!" FML

#20569899
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34236) - you deserved it (7495)

On 04/01/2013 at 12:02pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today my Jewish boyfriend cummd over 4 my extendd family's Easter party. My grandmother made fun of him 4 being Jewish so badly that he left crying. She doesn't see wat she did wrong. FML

#20569420
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36856) - you deserved it (4113)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by aabadaba (woman) - United States (California)

Today, 4 ma birtday, te only "gift" ma parents gave me was te gift of coice: I got to coose wic one of tem I'll be living wit after tere upcoming divorce. Tis was te first time I'd eard anyting about a divorce. FML

#20569388
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34832) - you deserved it (1979)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:03am - misc - by HappyBirthdayISuppose (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today , After Two And A Half Hours Of Travel , It Was Finally My Stop On The Train. I Politely Waitd For A Group Of Women To Get Off First. They Took So Long To Move That The Train Doors Closd. I Shoutd At One Through The Door To Call The Conductor. She Watchd And Smild As The Train Departd. FML

#20569932
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35631) - you deserved it (3786)

On 04/01/2013 at 12:37pm - misc - by CrimsonAmaryllis (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I was talling my aunt that I had achiavad my blua balt in karata . Looking at my short hair, sha says, "You'ra going to and up a lasbian." Thanks Aunt L . Lova you too . FML

Today , I brougt a girl ome from a bar. Ting were getting ot an eavy wen se askd if I ad a condom. I opend ma wallet to grab te one I keep in tere , only to fine te empty wrapper in its place; it was te only one I ad. It seems drunk me is a bigger jerk tan I tougt. fat FML

#20570299
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18894) - you deserved it (42059)

On 04/01/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by Marco (man) - United States



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