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Tuesday 26 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a man attempted to sue my business for giving him food poisoning. I make soap. When I called the cops on him for disturbing the peace, I was told, "Maybe next time you'll put 'not edible' on your label." FML

#20561443
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32071) - you deserved it (3297)

On 03/26/2013 at 8:10pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. I was woken up by my mother breaking into my house to tell me I need to get ready for work. Then she got mad that I had a girl over. I'm 20. FML

#20561180
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37932) - you deserved it (4629)

On 03/26/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by holycommander - United States

Today, I found out that what my husband meant by "we should try swinging" is "I really want to have sex with this one friend of yours, and if you so much as make eye contact with any guy I'm going to totally flip out and threaten to kill him and you." FML

#20560730
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49126) - you deserved it (6498)

On 03/26/2013 at 8:07am - intimacy - by SwinginSolo (woman) - United States

Today, my German Shepherd decided to bark at, then attack, a painted rock. At least I know I'm protected from inanimate objects. FML

#20561241
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27403) - you deserved it (3096)

On 03/26/2013 at 5:17pm - animals - by whykarma (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I told my husband that a guy I work with told me that I'm the most beautiful woman he has ever met. My husband replied, "He needs to get out more." FML

Today, my boss threatened to fire me because of a tattoo I have. It's a small teddy bear on my leg with my parents' names on it. My workplace has no problems with tattoos, but my boss said it was "unoriginal and lame." It's a memorial tattoo; my parents died last year. FML

#20560852
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48825) - you deserved it (3039)

On 03/26/2013 at 10:54am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, my daughter got selected to pick music for a funeral. She only listens to Nikki Minaj. FML

#20560709
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36895) - you deserved it (5265)

On 03/26/2013 at 7:40am - kids - by bear - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after my boyfriend promised he wasn't cheating on me, I ran into him at our favorite coffee shop with the girl I suspected him of cheating with. When I confronted them, he acted like he didn't know me. FML

#20561087
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47794) - you deserved it (3901)

On 03/26/2013 at 3:04pm - love - by Megan - United States

Today, my cat learned the hard way what the bathtub is for. While I was in it. FML

#20560819
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31157) - you deserved it (3549)

On 03/26/2013 at 10:22am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after getting a new haircut, I decided to take a few photos. I set up my iPhone in my room and began posing. It wasn't until numerous shots later that I realized my phone had posted every picture to Facebook, and they were all over everyone's newsfeed. FML

#20561054
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16152) - you deserved it (41103)

On 03/26/2013 at 2:31pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the bank to find out why they've taken $200 from me. By the time I show them my bank card, ID and tell them my problem, they accuse me of stealing my own identity, and refuse to give me my money back. FML

#20561553
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32624) - you deserved it (2098)

On 03/26/2013 at 9:37pm - money - by arsenicalhumor (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend, who moved in about a month ago, decided he wanted to move back out. Why? Because I don't keep my place clean enough for him. This, coming from the same man who refuses to wash or clean anything because "that's what women are for." FML

#20560431
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35670) - you deserved it (9247)

On 03/26/2013 at 12:15am - love - by ShouldBeSingleSoon (woman) - United States (Nebraska)



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