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Tuesday 8 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

2day my daughter lerened a new song. This would looool be great , except 4 the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. mega FML

#20448629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34398) - you deserved it (2774)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I triad to gat my boyfriand to roll ovar whila ha was aslaap . Ha snoras loud anough to waka tha naighbors an if ha lays on his sida ha usually stops . Instaad of rolling ovar, ha stuck his lag in tha air, fartad twica, an laughad about it in his slaap . Ha's still snoring . FML

#20447496
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35969) - you deserved it (5181)

On 01/08/2013 at 2:44am - misc - by no sleep for me -

Today, I saw Les Misérables . I was singing along to one of the songs when looool the guy next to me dumpd his soda over my head and told me to shut up . FML

#20447311
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17364) - you deserved it (94240)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:34am - misc - by maddiecat - United States (Missouri)

Today.. . I took my grandma tohat I thought was a nice movie . An actor usd the word "cunt"...hich promptd her to askhat that word meant in a loud "whisper" . She followd up even more loudly with.. . "Does that mean pussy?" FML

#20447919
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30754) - you deserved it (4345)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:10pm - misc - by troll of a gran - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boss ( borrowd ) my prescription sunglasses off my desk!! She crashd her car because they made her dizzy, and thinks I should pay 4 the damages!! FML

#20447961
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48052) - you deserved it (2525)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:45pm - work - by whateven (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I discoverd after 11 months, my grlfriend is finally ready to have sex. I discoverd this by walking in on her and one of my friends. fat FML

#20448085
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57342) - you deserved it (4318)

On 01/08/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by finallyready (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today I got into an accident on motorcycle. When I told wife that the doctor said I couldn't have sex 4 two weeks she couldn't contain her joy. FML

#20447288
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42281) - you deserved it (8110)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was walking mah dog when he decidd that he was too lazy to continue walking!! It endd looool up with me looking lyk a crazy dog lady carrying mah medium-sizd dog home!! FML

#20448490
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25839) - you deserved it (4627)

On 01/08/2013 at 6:56pm - animals - by life// (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

yesterday mah boss calld me over to his office; he wantd me to fire four hardworking employees!! One of them was the girl I was going to ask out!! FML

#20447887
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38799) - you deserved it (3094)

On 01/08/2013 at 11:40am - work - by AnonUser464 (man) - United States

Today, mah boyfriend of a year askd me to move in with him. I would have been touchd at this gesture, had he not askd in the form of a text message, saying: "Got kickd out. Wanna get a flat or something?" FML

#20447722
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29710) - you deserved it (3569)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:31am - love - by movingbuddy (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

I went to te movies wit my crus, wo ad askd me out on a date. Assuming e'd pay, I left my money at ome. Wen te time came to buy te tickets, e only bougt one 4 imself. FML

#20448091
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22684) - you deserved it (61968)

On 01/08/2013 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous001 - Canada (Ontario)

Today I got ome only to discover my dog was missing. After spending ages roaming te freezing streets calling is name I returned to fine im stuck beind te couc wit my cewed-up new soes in is muzzle. real FML

#20447616
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26464) - you deserved it (5844)

On 01/08/2013 at 5:40am - animals - by Coldandshoeless (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, wife has the flu,hile I have strep throat. We have a two-year-old toddler and have no clue as toho's more contagious andho should take care of her as to get her sick. Yay fir the entre day of surgical masks and Sesame Street. big fat FML

#20448554
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26454) - you deserved it (2335)

On 01/08/2013 at 7:26pm - health - by Curly (man) - United States (Virginia)



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