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Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML

#16912974
441 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59482) - you deserved it (6228)

On 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, it's my sixteenth birthday. The only gift I got was from myself: a positive pregnancy test. FML

#14242340
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19070) - you deserved it (79170)

On 12/18/2010 at 12:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and parents went out to dinner. As we started the meal, my boyfriend proposed and the restaurant burst into applause. My mother said without hesitation and a large scowl, "If you say yes, I'm leaving." FML

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because apparently I need to "grow up". He is the one who plays excesive Call of Duty and still has Pokémon and Bionicles in his room. FML

#856956
460 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56848) - you deserved it (19396)

On 04/07/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by phreshrice (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my vegetarian housemate cleaned the fridge. He threw away all of the meat in our fridge and made a nice sign stating "Meat is Murder". I was storing roughly $1000 worth of filet mignon steaks and seafood for my sister's wedding. FML

#5416857
446 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53402) - you deserved it (4135)

On 09/22/2009 at 5:48pm - misc - by carnivore (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML

#14512160
457 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66223) - you deserved it (3484)

On 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML

#5291551
485 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6665) - you deserved it (81835)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:05pm - kids - by Mac - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML

#18338481
489 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42604) - you deserved it (4022)

On 11/24/2011 at 3:30pm - misc - by haunted (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in the food court at the mall. When she said "yes", the entire food court broke out in applause, and my girlfriend and I were escorted out of the mall for "starting a riot". I never knew clapping was a crime. FML

#677461
397 comments

I agree, your life sucks (95910) - you deserved it (21131)

On 03/29/2009 at 10:03am - love - by engaged (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me because the love advice that she gets on her cellphone every week says that I'm cheating on her. I've never cheated on her and I was planning to propose next week. FML

#2630668
465 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83673) - you deserved it (5325)

On 06/05/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by dumped (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my very handsome, fit, Russian boyfriend tried to make me feel better about being a little overweight by telling me, "It's okay, you're American, everyone expects you to be fat." FML

#10696817
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30589) - you deserved it (13834)

On 05/22/2010 at 7:24pm - love - by ChubbyAmerican (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, due to the cold, windy weather, I decided to wear my brand-new cute (and expensive) jacket that has a faux-fur hood. As I walked down the street, numerous PETA members attacked me with red liquid. I'm a Vegan and an animal-rights activist. FML

#1200531
465 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59143) - you deserved it (21994)

On 04/21/2009 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739
428 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66618) - you deserved it (6939)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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