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Today, I was waitressing for a huge family. Their bill was $750. Excited about the tip, I was shocked to see only $0.50. As they were leaving, I threw the two whole quarters at their heads. Guess who also got fired today. FML

#20150831
484 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17939) - you deserved it (42114)

On 11/06/2012 at 5:37pm - work - by Misunderstood Waitress (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me how women could urinate with a tampon in. FML

#16042131
471 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42309) - you deserved it (7590)

On 05/04/2011 at 7:51am - intimacy - by woah (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was proposed to in a McDonald's. FML

#9127255
444 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58203) - you deserved it (13571)

On 03/16/2010 at 6:55am - love - by hater -

Today, my boyfriend called me and I told him about the AnimeCon I'm attending, and that I wanted to go as Sailor Mars, he told me he had no idea what that was. After being mad for about ten minutes, I realized that I wanted to break up with him over not knowing what Sailor Moon was. FML

#3108036
506 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10201) - you deserved it (77175)

On 06/22/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML

#3842566
432 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35439) - you deserved it (94209)

On 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm - kids - by Pumpkin (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in the car with my cousin and we saw a family of three. They where all really fat and the lady was holding 2 boxes of pizza. I decided to roll down the window and scream "fatasses" as loud as I could while my cousin drove off. They were going to the same house we were. FML

#7732891
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6207) - you deserved it (82867)

On 01/31/2010 at 2:03am - misc - by lauris1306 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML

#16519347
463 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10529) - you deserved it (117040)

On 06/05/2011 at 8:52pm - misc - by kringr (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML

#8719561
454 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7226) - you deserved it (53519)

On 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my daughter asked me what is the youngest age at which you should start having sex. Being a good mom, I said that she shouldn't have sex until after she's been married. My daughter then said, "Oh... shoot," and walked away. My daughter is twelve. FML

#3344863
471 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71459) - you deserved it (12525)

On 06/29/2009 at 8:40pm - intimacy - by blazer - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because apparently I need to "grow up". He is the one who plays excesive Call of Duty and still has Pokémon and Bionicles in his room. FML

#856956
467 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59028) - you deserved it (20209)

On 04/07/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by phreshrice (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I discovered a tick on my penis. After a long battle, he finally let go. Four hours later I'm in the hospital. My penis is twice the normal size. I may have won the battle but lost the war. FML

#16639445
449 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48188) - you deserved it (5571)

On 06/13/2011 at 2:25am - intimacy - by John jacob - United States (Georgia)



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