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Today, I found out that I'm named after my dad's favourite drink. FML

#10665282
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26944) - you deserved it (3903)

On 05/21/2010 at 8:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was waitressing for a huge family. Their bill was $750. Excited about the tip, I was shocked to see only $0.50. As they were leaving, I threw the two whole quarters at their heads. Guess who also got fired today. FML

#20150831
484 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17881) - you deserved it (41939)

On 11/06/2012 at 5:37pm - work - by Misunderstood Waitress (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me how women could urinate with a tampon in. FML

#16042131
471 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42190) - you deserved it (7581)

On 05/04/2011 at 7:51am - intimacy - by woah (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my maid washed my PS3. Yes, with soap and water. FML

Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML

#3842566
431 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34896) - you deserved it (90557)

On 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm - kids - by Pumpkin (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my daughter asked me what is the youngest age at which you should start having sex. Being a good mom, I said that she shouldn't have sex until after she's been married. My daughter then said, "Oh... shoot," and walked away. My daughter is twelve. FML

#3344863
473 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71228) - you deserved it (12491)

On 06/29/2009 at 8:40pm - intimacy - by blazer - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML

#16519347
461 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10460) - you deserved it (116331)

On 06/05/2011 at 8:52pm - misc - by kringr (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered a tick on my penis. After a long battle, he finally let go. Four hours later I'm in the hospital. My penis is twice the normal size. I may have won the battle but lost the war. FML

#16639445
449 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48065) - you deserved it (5563)

On 06/13/2011 at 2:25am - intimacy - by John jacob - United States (Georgia)

Today, my vegetarian housemate cleaned the fridge. He threw away all of the meat in our fridge and made a nice sign stating "Meat is Murder". I was storing roughly $1000 worth of filet mignon steaks and seafood for my sister's wedding. FML

#5416857
454 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60559) - you deserved it (5278)

On 09/22/2009 at 5:48pm - misc - by carnivore (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML

#8719561
451 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7202) - you deserved it (53369)

On 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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