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Today, I was waitressing for a huge family. Their bill was $750. Excited about the tip, I was shocked to see only $0.50. As they were leaving, I threw the two whole quarters at their heads. Guess who also got fired today. FML

#20150831
472 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17978) - you deserved it (42191)

On 11/06/2012 at 5:37pm - work - by Misunderstood Waitress (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me how women could urinate with a tampon in. FML

#16042131
472 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43238) - you deserved it (7692)

On 05/04/2011 at 7:51am - intimacy - by woah (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my maid washed my PS3. Yes, with soap and water. FML

Today, I was proposed to in a McDonald's. FML

#9127255
445 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58264) - you deserved it (13583)

On 03/16/2010 at 6:55am - love - by hater -

Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML

#3842566
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36200) - you deserved it (95505)

On 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm - kids - by Pumpkin (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in the car with my cousin and we saw a family of three. They where all really fat and the lady was holding 2 boxes of pizza. I decided to roll down the window and scream "fatasses" as loud as I could while my cousin drove off. They were going to the same house we were. FML

#7732891
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6215) - you deserved it (83103)

On 01/31/2010 at 2:03am - misc - by lauris1306 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my new husband is expecting two children: ours, due in January, and our 16-year-old neighbor's, due in March. FML

Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML

#16519347
463 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10554) - you deserved it (117452)

On 06/05/2011 at 8:52pm - misc - by kringr (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML

#8719561
454 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7249) - you deserved it (53586)

On 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my daughter asked me what is the youngest age at which you should start having sex. Being a good mom, I said that she shouldn't have sex until after she's been married. My daughter then said, "Oh... shoot," and walked away. My daughter is twelve. FML

#3344863
471 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71571) - you deserved it (12552)

On 06/29/2009 at 8:40pm - intimacy - by blazer - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because apparently I need to "grow up". He is the one who plays excesive Call of Duty and still has Pokémon and Bionicles in his room. FML

#856956
467 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59108) - you deserved it (20225)

On 04/07/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by phreshrice (man) - United States (Iowa)



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