Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML

#17536285
471 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58088) - you deserved it (7177)

On 08/21/2011 at 5:59am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Ohio)

Today, my fiancé and I had a fight over household expenses. He's never had a job in his life, but this didn't stop him demanding that I get another full-time job to pay for video games and beer. FML

#15177236
475 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24790) - you deserved it (52238)

On 03/02/2011 at 6:21pm - money - by me - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up to a scream downstairs. My 13 year-old daughter was trying to bite her little brother's neck. No matter how hard I try, she will not believe that she is NOT and NEVER WILL BE a vampire. FML

#17162129
469 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38118) - you deserved it (5697)

On 07/18/2011 at 11:17am - kids - by xBubbles38 - United States

Today, I was stopped and searched by a cop, and he quickly found the bag of weed in my pocket. He didn't arrest or fine me, but he did confiscate my weed and told me to "get lost." Pretty sure I just got legally mugged. FML

#19449472
463 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13919) - you deserved it (36288)

On 04/11/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by erockinthesuburb (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML

#17115448
469 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54656) - you deserved it (9321)

On 07/15/2011 at 12:24am - animals - by flipnazn - United States (Texas)

Today, I confided to my dad that since the recent breakup with my boyfriend of 3 months, I feel down all the time and life doesn't feel worth living anymore. His loving advice was for me to "grow the fuck up and get your sentimental head out of la-la land." FML

#16092460
525 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19618) - you deserved it (66272)

On 05/08/2011 at 3:21pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

#19631928
476 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47212) - you deserved it (4373)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, I went to Victoria's Secret to get fitted for a new bra since mine weren't fitting properly. To my amazement, I wasn't a 32A, but a 32AA. I might as well have craters on my chest. FML

#15103887
456 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31661) - you deserved it (4798)

On 02/24/2011 at 5:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my child-hating friend who vowed never to have any no matter what, announced that she's pregnant. I've had three IVF cycles, spent $90k in fertility treatments, and still can't conceive. FML

#17646156
473 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46018) - you deserved it (4228)

On 09/02/2011 at 6:02pm - kids - by anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that I'm named after my dad's favourite drink. FML

#10665282
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27026) - you deserved it (3903)

On 05/21/2010 at 8:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

#20111886
522 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75003) - you deserved it (8779)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was having an affair with a girl from my work. She scratched my back while we were doing it and I didn't want my wife to find out so I threw myself down the stairs at work and ended up having to go to the hospital. FML

#10658705
516 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15172) - you deserved it (237589)

On 05/20/2010 at 10:33pm - intimacy - by Chichensoup (man) - United States (Oregon)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: