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Today, I found out that my eight year old son is actually my nephew. FML

#16727755
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81004) - you deserved it (6646)

On 06/18/2011 at 11:34am - misc - by Ben - United States (California)

Today, I was on my third date with a really hot girl. A guy walked by singing the Pokémon theme song. She started making fun of the guy, mocking his immaturity. I joined in order to keep the conversation going. Everything was going great but then my phone rang. It was the Pokémon theme song. FML

#16435078
491 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15876) - you deserved it (74895)

On 05/31/2011 at 1:05pm - love - by chickennbenchpress (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my fiancé and I had a fight over household expenses. He's never had a job in his life, but this didn't stop him demanding that I get another full-time job to pay for video games and beer. FML

#15177236
476 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24939) - you deserved it (52428)

On 03/02/2011 at 6:21pm - money - by me - United States (Washington)

Today, I was stopped and searched by a cop, and he quickly found the bag of weed in my pocket. He didn't arrest or fine me, but he did confiscate my weed and told me to "get lost." Pretty sure I just got legally mugged. FML

#19449472
468 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15076) - you deserved it (38454)

On 04/11/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by erockinthesuburb (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

#279733
521 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54835) - you deserved it (318160)

On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML

#17115448
475 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54959) - you deserved it (9341)

On 07/15/2011 at 12:24am - animals - by flipnazn - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML

#17536285
469 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60678) - you deserved it (7446)

On 08/21/2011 at 5:59am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up to a scream downstairs. My 13 year-old daughter was trying to bite her little brother's neck. No matter how hard I try, she will not believe that she is NOT and NEVER WILL BE a vampire. FML

#17162129
472 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38387) - you deserved it (5716)

On 07/18/2011 at 11:17am - kids - by xBubbles38 - United States

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

#16217085
441 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38920) - you deserved it (10498)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -

Today, I accidentally dropped my cigarette down my shirt. There are now two unsightly, painful burns right in the center of my chest. FML

#11524663
436 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10422) - you deserved it (66100)

On 06/28/2010 at 7:37pm - health - by Pain (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

#19631928
479 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49442) - you deserved it (4599)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, I went to Victoria's Secret to get fitted for a new bra since mine weren't fitting properly. To my amazement, I wasn't a 32A, but a 32AA. I might as well have craters on my chest. FML

#15103887
459 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31919) - you deserved it (4812)

On 02/24/2011 at 5:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my child-hating friend who vowed never to have any no matter what, announced that she's pregnant. I've had three IVF cycles, spent $90k in fertility treatments, and still can't conceive. FML

#17646156
476 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46323) - you deserved it (4241)

On 09/02/2011 at 6:02pm - kids - by anonymous - United States (Florida)



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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

Friday 29 May 2015

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