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Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40988) - you deserved it (247158)
On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, I went to Victoria's Secret to get fitted for a new bra since mine weren't fitting properly. To my amazement, I wasn't a 32A, but a 32AA. I might as well have craters on my chest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26683) - you deserved it (4372)
On 02/24/2011 at 5:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I saw a YouTube video of a guy scratching a knife and a screwdriver on his iPod, and at the end he showed how there were no scratches and the screen was still clean. I took my iPod touch and did the same with a knife. It didn't work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12167) - you deserved it (198929)
On 09/19/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by MgmEboy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my child-hating friend who vowed never to have any no matter what, announced that she's pregnant. I've had three IVF cycles, spent $90k in fertility treatments, and still can't conceive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39877) - you deserved it (3735)
On 09/02/2011 at 6:02pm - kids - by anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, in class, I was sitting next to the guy that I fancy. Shyly, I write our initials (L and A) into a heart on his hand to see his reaction. He said, "I love Los Angeles too!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (74761) - you deserved it (30751)
On 10/13/2008 at 4:19am - love - by mocass’1 (woman) - France
Today, my boyfriend asked me how women could urinate with a tampon in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35927) - you deserved it (5949)
On 05/04/2011 at 7:51am - intimacy - by woah (woman) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I was stopped and searched by a cop, and he quickly found the bag of weed in my pocket. He didn't arrest or fine me, but he did confiscate my weed and told me to "get lost." Pretty sure I just got legally mugged. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10482) - you deserved it (25093)
On 04/11/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by erockinthesuburb (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found out that I'm named after my dad's favourite drink. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22075) - you deserved it (2974)
On 05/21/2010 at 8:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, I was proposed to in a McDonald's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50328) - you deserved it (10114)
On 03/16/2010 at 6:55am - love - by hater -
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (199425) - you deserved it (58850)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28665) - you deserved it (18159)
On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6477) - you deserved it (79362)
On 09/16/2009 at 1:05pm - kids - by Mac - Sent from mobile version
Today, my daughter asked me what the youngest age you should start having sex is, being a good mom, I said that she shouldn't have sex until after she's been married. My daughter then said, "Oh... shoot," and walked away. My daughter is twelve. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62667) - you deserved it (9115)
On 06/29/2009 at 8:40pm - intimacy - by blazer - United States (Minnesota)
Monday 20 May 2013
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