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Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML

#18338481
494 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48656) - you deserved it (4556)

On 11/24/2011 at 3:30pm - misc - by haunted (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I had to explain to my son that his dad was too busy in a raid on World of Warcraft to be at his award ceremony. FML

#7816615
491 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50291) - you deserved it (38218)

On 02/02/2010 at 3:30pm - kids - by fuckmylife (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was on my third date with a really hot girl. A guy walked by singing the Pokémon theme song. She started making fun of the guy, mocking his immaturity. I joined in order to keep the conversation going. Everything was going great but then my phone rang. It was the Pokémon theme song. FML

#16435078
491 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16880) - you deserved it (77478)

On 05/31/2011 at 1:05pm - love - by chickennbenchpress (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

#784043
478 comments

I agree, your life sucks (439188) - you deserved it (72874)

On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

#15405912
488 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36629) - you deserved it (50718)

On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)

Today, it's my 18th birthday. My parents got me a $5 gift certificate to iTunes. It came for free with the iPhone they just bought my sister for her middle school graduation. FML

#580113
484 comments

I agree, your life sucks (634630) - you deserved it (41906)

On 03/24/2009 at 5:15pm - misc - by happybirthday (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

#15532710
484 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55506) - you deserved it (27791)

On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML

#15617038
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (113763) - you deserved it (8021)

On 04/03/2011 at 4:06am - intimacy - by Now Single - Reserved

Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML

#5291551
482 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10216) - you deserved it (109954)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:05pm - kids - by Mac - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend and parents went out to dinner. As we started the meal, my boyfriend proposed and the restaurant burst into applause. My mother said without hesitation and a large scowl, "If you say yes, I'm leaving." FML

Today, we got my brother a pet hamster because he has trouble making friends. We thought a hamster would be a good way to teach him about caring for others. I walked into the room and the hamster was hanging from the ceiling. Turns out there's a reason my brother doesn't have friends. FML

#2651635
481 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71052) - you deserved it (4862)

On 06/06/2009 at 1:51am - animals - by hamsterlovinn (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was waitressing for a huge family. Their bill was $750. Excited about the tip, I was shocked to see only $0.50. As they were leaving, I threw the two whole quarters at their heads. Guess who also got fired today. FML

#20150831
481 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18124) - you deserved it (42517)

On 11/06/2012 at 5:37pm - work - by Misunderstood Waitress (woman) - United States



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