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Today, my girlfriend found my list of women I've had sex with, complete with the ratings I'd given them. The list is in chronological order. She's not only not the highest rated, she's not last on the list. FML

#20024660
502 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11351) - you deserved it (151088)

On 08/16/2012 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having an affair with a girl from my work. She scratched my back while we were doing it and I didn't want my wife to find out so I threw myself down the stairs at work and ended up having to go to the hospital. FML

#10658705
508 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14779) - you deserved it (235692)

On 05/20/2010 at 10:33pm - intimacy - by Chichensoup (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I saw a YouTube video of a guy scratching a knife and a screwdriver on his iPod, and at the end he showed how there were no scratches and the screen was still clean. I took my iPod touch and did the same with a knife. It didn't work. FML

#5355612
480 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19230) - you deserved it (237169)

On 09/19/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by MgmEboy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend called me and I told him about the AnimeCon I'm attending, and that I wanted to go as Sailor Mars, he told me he had no idea what that was. After being mad for about ten minutes, I realized that I wanted to break up with him over not knowing what Sailor Moon was. FML

#3108036
503 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10154) - you deserved it (77024)

On 06/22/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML

#18338481
490 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45205) - you deserved it (4264)

On 11/24/2011 at 3:30pm - misc - by haunted (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, at the Black Friday Sale, a fully grown man hit my 5 year old daughter for an Xbox. In anger, I punched the guy and gave him a bloody nose. I'm now banned from Best Buy, and my daughter has a concussion. FML

#18344232
497 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47536) - you deserved it (5786)

On 11/25/2011 at 3:20am - misc - by nicoreal89 - United States (Texas)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
518 comments

I agree, your life sucks (239445) - you deserved it (31621)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to marry me. Since he doesn't know my ring size he asked for me to find a ring that I liked and he would buy it and propose. The only problem is that he won't spend more than 200 dollars on it. Oh the generosity. FML

#9062529
439 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12498) - you deserved it (31261)

On 03/14/2010 at 12:04am - love - by anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, while drinking at a bar with my girlfriend, my ex-girlfriend who I've been seeing on the side walked straight up to her, introducing herself as "the ex-girlfriend that he's been sleeping with for the past 3 months." FML

Today, I found out that my eight year old son is actually my nephew. FML

#16727755
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78965) - you deserved it (6507)

On 06/18/2011 at 11:34am - misc - by Ben - United States (California)

Today, in class, I was sitting next to the guy that I fancy. Shyly, I write our initials (L and A) into a heart on his hand to see his reaction. He said, "I love Los Angeles too!" FML

#6
440 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87002) - you deserved it (39737)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:19am - love - by mocass’1 (woman) - France

Today, I have to spend over an hour at a Gamestop so my boyfriend can get his 'Final Fantasy' game at midnight. I'm tired, I don't want to stand around any more, and all the people around around me are debating super heroes. I'm living in an episode of 'The Big Bang Theory.' FML

#8936856
380 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11156) - you deserved it (33045)

On 03/09/2010 at 12:12am - misc - by notanerd - United States



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