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Today, I saw a YouTube video of a guy scratching a knife and a screwdriver on his iPod, and at the end he showed how there were no scratches and the screen was still clean. I took my iPod touch and did the same with a knife. It didn't work. FML

#5355612
482 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19312) - you deserved it (239054)

On 09/19/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by MgmEboy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML

#18338481
490 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45500) - you deserved it (4287)

On 11/24/2011 at 3:30pm - misc - by haunted (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, at the Black Friday Sale, a fully grown man hit my 5 year old daughter for an Xbox. In anger, I punched the guy and gave him a bloody nose. I'm now banned from Best Buy, and my daughter has a concussion. FML

#18344232
499 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47632) - you deserved it (5794)

On 11/25/2011 at 3:20am - misc - by nicoreal89 - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to marry me. Since he doesn't know my ring size he asked for me to find a ring that I liked and he would buy it and propose. The only problem is that he won't spend more than 200 dollars on it. Oh the generosity. FML

#9062529
441 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12527) - you deserved it (31325)

On 03/14/2010 at 12:04am - love - by anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
519 comments

I agree, your life sucks (243297) - you deserved it (32113)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, while drinking at a bar with my girlfriend, my ex-girlfriend who I've been seeing on the side walked straight up to her, introducing herself as "the ex-girlfriend that he's been sleeping with for the past 3 months." FML

Today, I found out that my eight year old son is actually my nephew. FML

#16727755
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79092) - you deserved it (6514)

On 06/18/2011 at 11:34am - misc - by Ben - United States (California)

Today, in class, I was sitting next to the guy that I fancy. Shyly, I write our initials (L and A) into a heart on his hand to see his reaction. He said, "I love Los Angeles too!" FML

#6
440 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87210) - you deserved it (39798)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:19am - love - by mocass’1 (woman) - France

Today, I was on my third date with a really hot girl. A guy walked by singing the Pokémon theme song. She started making fun of the guy, mocking his immaturity. I joined in order to keep the conversation going. Everything was going great but then my phone rang. It was the Pokémon theme song. FML

#16435078
488 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15388) - you deserved it (73605)

On 05/31/2011 at 1:05pm - love - by chickennbenchpress (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I read a seemingly serious article online about giving your smartphone some extra charge by putting it in the microwave for one minute. My phone is now fried. FML

#20864782
517 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17848) - you deserved it (128215)

On 09/02/2013 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

#16217085
441 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37094) - you deserved it (10100)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -



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  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

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