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Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41369) - you deserved it (250668)
On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (107125) - you deserved it (5822)
On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)
Today, my brother thought it would be hilarious to take a pair of scissors to all my bras. My mom can't take me shopping for another three days and I have no one to borrow a bra from. I have school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32255) - you deserved it (3016)
On 05/01/2011 at 12:11pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I came home and found out that my new roommate, who smokes half a pack of cigarettes a day and drinks heavily 5 nights a week, had smashed my $300 bong because "weed is a horrible and deadly drug that will kill you slowly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (47761) - you deserved it (25888)
On 07/06/2009 at 1:55am - misc - by expen_dable (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, my boyfriend woke up wheezing terribly, aching, and sneezing. He's allergic to cats. I have 2 and they are my babies. He gave me an ultimatum, him or the cats. I haven't figured out how I'm going to tell him that I choose the cats. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15194) - you deserved it (45944)
On 07/15/2010 at 2:53am - love - by BambooLove (woman) - United States
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I have never read any of the Harry Potter books. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26162) - you deserved it (48110)
On 01/12/2012 at 12:36am - love - by Nate (man) - United States
Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39230) - you deserved it (3776)
On 11/24/2011 at 3:30pm - misc - by haunted (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, it was raining heavily. I saw a large puddle by the edge of the road near with a passing lady. Thinking it would be funny to splash her, I swerved to hit the puddle. The puddle was deeper than I thought. I lost control of the car, spun out, and hit two parked cars. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8198) - you deserved it (178156)
On 05/21/2011 at 2:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)
Today, my boyfriend called me and I told him about the AnimeCon I'm attending, and that I wanted to go as Sailor Mars, he told me he had no idea what that was. After being mad for about ten minutes, I realized that I wanted to break up with him over not knowing what Sailor Moon was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8204) - you deserved it (70409)
On 06/22/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)
Today, at the Black Friday Sale, a fully grown man hit my 5 year old daughter for an Xbox. In anger, I punched the guy and gave him a bloody nose. I'm now banned from Best Buy, and my daughter has a concussion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39622) - you deserved it (4288)
On 11/25/2011 at 3:20am - misc - by nicoreal89 - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend found my list of women I've had sex with, complete with the ratings I'd given them. The list is in chronological order. She's not only not the highest rated, she's not last on the list. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6905) - you deserved it (109004)
On 08/16/2012 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, a 7 year old girl came up to me and told me to fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard this conversation, she came up to me and told me to fuck myself as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (197572) - you deserved it (18166)
On 03/30/2009 at 1:06am - kids - by Wmsys32pr9 (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (193716) - you deserved it (21251)
On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)
Monday 17 June 2013
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