Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I confided to my dad that since the recent breakup with my boyfriend of 3 months, I feel down all the time and life doesn't feel worth living anymore. His loving advice was for me to "grow the fuck up and get your sentimental head out of la-la land." FML

#16092460
529 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19781) - you deserved it (66554)

On 05/08/2011 at 3:21pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had the most exciting dream of my life. I was dreaming about catching a shiny charmander. I'm 15, and instead of dreaming of girls, I'm dreaming of Pokémon. FML

#16909818
471 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30956) - you deserved it (17005)

On 06/29/2011 at 1:47pm - misc - by wispywee - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at work when I found an iPhone on the floor. I decided not to turn it into the manager and keep it. Five minutes later, a customer asked if anyone had turned in her missing phone. I said no and began to walk away, when her friend called her phone. It rang. She recognized the ringtone. FML

#18086269
535 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11559) - you deserved it (195745)

On 10/27/2011 at 1:01am - work - by charlie3289 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
431 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56647) - you deserved it (5591)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend found my list of women I've had sex with, complete with the ratings I'd given them. The list is in chronological order. She's not only not the highest rated, she's not last on the list. FML

#20024660
529 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13311) - you deserved it (164888)

On 08/16/2012 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969
519 comments

I agree, your life sucks (142442) - you deserved it (8095)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

#279733
523 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59690) - you deserved it (327074)

On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, it was raining heavily. I saw a large puddle by the edge of the road near with a passing lady. Thinking it would be funny to splash her, I swerved to hit the puddle. The puddle was deeper than I thought. I lost control of the car, spun out, and hit two parked cars. FML

#16276951
516 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12352) - you deserved it (228556)

On 05/21/2011 at 2:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, I went camping with my girlfriend and best friend. They are now having blood-curdling sex in our tent. My friend is also my ride home. FML

#16746059
508 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56776) - you deserved it (6989)

On 06/19/2011 at 2:08pm - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I have never read any of the Harry Potter books. FML

#18781684
536 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32010) - you deserved it (55891)

On 01/12/2012 at 12:36am - love - by Nate (man) - United States

Today, my brother thought it would be hilarious to take a pair of scissors to all my bras. My mom can't take me shopping for another three days and I have no one to borrow a bra from. I have school. FML

#16003587
404 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41042) - you deserved it (4137)

On 05/01/2011 at 12:11pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I saw a YouTube video of a guy scratching a knife and a screwdriver on his iPod, and at the end he showed how there were no scratches and the screen was still clean. I took my iPod touch and did the same with a knife. It didn't work. FML

#5355612
489 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21658) - you deserved it (252331)

On 09/19/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by MgmEboy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: