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Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969
509 comments

I agree, your life sucks (131965) - you deserved it (7353)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

#279733
519 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54202) - you deserved it (314071)

On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML

#341783
536 comments

I agree, your life sucks (506935) - you deserved it (35116)

On 03/15/2009 at 2:29pm - love - by thankskimi (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got stuck in an elevator for 2 hours with my boyfriend and the guy that I have been secretly having an affair with for 6 months. FML

#5470
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43423) - you deserved it (354189)

On 02/02/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went camping with my girlfriend and best friend. They are now having blood-curdling sex in our tent. My friend is also my ride home. FML

#16746059
505 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54022) - you deserved it (6737)

On 06/19/2011 at 2:08pm - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at work when I found an iPhone on the floor. I decided not to turn it into the manager and keep it. Five minutes later, a customer asked if anyone had turned in her missing phone. I said no and began to walk away, when her friend called her phone. It rang. She recognized the ringtone. FML

#18086269
521 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10040) - you deserved it (182501)

On 10/27/2011 at 1:01am - work - by charlie3289 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my parents felt the need to lecture me about how people who "smoke the reefer" are a "waste of life" and will never amount to anything. I was baked during the entire conversation, and actually ended up breaking down in tears, because I realized they were totally right. FML

#19840334
497 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8909) - you deserved it (45017)

On 06/24/2012 at 5:45pm - kids - by :( (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was having an affair with a girl from my work. She scratched my back while we were doing it and I didn't want my wife to find out so I threw myself down the stairs at work and ended up having to go to the hospital. FML

#10658705
520 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15218) - you deserved it (239095)

On 05/20/2010 at 10:33pm - intimacy - by Chichensoup (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend found my list of women I've had sex with, complete with the ratings I'd given them. The list is in chronological order. She's not only not the highest rated, she's not last on the list. FML

#20024660
513 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11465) - you deserved it (152567)

On 08/16/2012 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I have never read any of the Harry Potter books. FML

#18781684
532 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30107) - you deserved it (53517)

On 01/12/2012 at 12:36am - love - by Nate (man) - United States

Today, my brother thought it would be hilarious to take a pair of scissors to all my bras. My mom can't take me shopping for another three days and I have no one to borrow a bra from. I have school. FML

#16003587
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38315) - you deserved it (3929)

On 05/01/2011 at 12:11pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I saw a YouTube video of a guy scratching a knife and a screwdriver on his iPod, and at the end he showed how there were no scratches and the screen was still clean. I took my iPod touch and did the same with a knife. It didn't work. FML

#5355612
476 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19413) - you deserved it (240979)

On 09/19/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by MgmEboy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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