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Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "radiance ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "radiance ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML

#3639578
461 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60987) - you deserved it (31570)

On 07/10/2009 at 1:03pm - misc - by takinabreak (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

#15532710
483 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55431) - you deserved it (27763)

On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)

Today, we had guests coming over. My dad wanted me to make some bacon, but I refused because I'm a vegetarian, and don't like to touch meat. His response? 'Good joke honey, now make the bacon.' FML

#11238681
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31086) - you deserved it (16861)

On 06/16/2010 at 10:42am - health - by Joy (woman) - Denmark (Staden Kobenhavn)

Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML

#17080549
530 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20383) - you deserved it (53897)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by 44haley44 - United States

Today, at 21 years old, I am still so flat chested that I can't even fit into training bras meant for 12 year olds. FML

#15679727
588 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51573) - you deserved it (5459)

On 04/07/2011 at 12:55pm - misc - by nerdsgetmehot (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML

#341783
552 comments

I agree, your life sucks (523740) - you deserved it (35356)

On 03/15/2009 at 2:29pm - love - by thankskimi (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I confided to my dad that since the recent breakup with my boyfriend of 3 months, I feel down all the time and life doesn't feel worth living anymore. His loving advice was for me to "grow the fuck up and get your sentimental head out of la-la land." FML

#16092460
528 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19754) - you deserved it (66481)

On 05/08/2011 at 3:21pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got stuck in an elevator for 2 hours with my boyfriend and the guy that I have been secretly having an affair with for 6 months. FML

#5470
343 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45799) - you deserved it (372061)

On 02/02/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had the most exciting dream of my life. I was dreaming about catching a shiny charmander. I'm 15, and instead of dreaming of girls, I'm dreaming of Pokémon. FML

#16909818
470 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30890) - you deserved it (16976)

On 06/29/2011 at 1:47pm - misc - by wispywee - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
431 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56568) - you deserved it (5588)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)



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