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Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

#19249528
604 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24782) - you deserved it (55393)

On 03/10/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I saw my super creepy live-in uncle standing in the kitchen holding a pair of my underwear and smiling at it, humming to himself. He didn't see me. I stood there for at least 30 seconds in shock, and when I backed away he was still looking at them. FML

Today, my boyfriend went and bought Skyrim, Modern Warfare 3 and renewed his WoW subscription. Looks like I won't be getting laid for a month or two. FML

#18273262
600 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44558) - you deserved it (11651)

On 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was at work when I found an iPhone on the floor. I decided not to turn it into the manager and keep it. Five minutes later, a customer asked if anyone had turned in her missing phone. I said no and began to walk away, when her friend called her phone. It rang. She recognized the ringtone. FML

#18086269
536 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11576) - you deserved it (196078)

On 10/27/2011 at 1:01am - work - by charlie3289 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML

#18120358
591 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60233) - you deserved it (4797)

On 10/31/2011 at 11:38am - intimacy - by ohdear (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at 21 years old, I am still so flat chested that I can't even fit into training bras meant for 12 year olds. FML

#15679727
588 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52715) - you deserved it (5574)

On 04/07/2011 at 12:55pm - misc - by nerdsgetmehot (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
588 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14258) - you deserved it (56300) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, my daughter turned 11. Since she LOVES Harry Potter, I decided to write her an acceptance letter to Hogwarts. When she saw the letter, she screamed and showed me. When she found out I wrote it, she told me she hated me, started crying, and stepped on my foot. FML

#3796227
578 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31280) - you deserved it (91220)

On 07/16/2009 at 6:16am - kids - by notawizard (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)

Today, Twilight once again won all the awards at MTV, beating out Inception, Toy Story 3, Harry Potter, etc. This is MY generation. FML

#16524791
577 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97634) - you deserved it (10811)

On 06/06/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by KillMeNow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a YouTube video of a guy scratching a knife and a screwdriver on his iPod, and at the end he showed how there were no scratches and the screen was still clean. I took my iPod touch and did the same with a knife. It didn't work. FML

#5355612
490 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21668) - you deserved it (252590)

On 09/19/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by MgmEboy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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