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Today, I awoke at 5am to the smell of smoke and the sound of sirens. It seems the whole Santa Monica Fire Department had made it outside our apartment complex. We had to wake up every single person on our floor. What for? An old lady burned a muffin. FML

#6911518
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22810) - you deserved it (1991)

On 12/23/2009 at 10:21pm - misc - by Muffinhater (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was making out with this guy I had been seeing, and things start to get pretty steamy. As he paused for a second, I thought he was going to get up and find a condom, but instead he turns to me and says, "I think I'm going to go to the library." I wasn't invited. FML

#7004300
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16500) - you deserved it (2908)

On 12/29/2009 at 12:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I couldn't find my key so I sat against the wall to wait for my roommate to get home. I fell asleep. When I woke up a few hours later, I could hear her inside. She chose not to wake me up and let me in. FML

#14057053
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22801) - you deserved it (3842)

On 12/02/2010 at 4:24am - misc - by e (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was running a marathon for my school. Two hot girls started talking to me, so I glanced at them and smiled. I turned back, just in time to knee a little boy in the face. FML

#13662632
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21841) - you deserved it (6997)

On 10/31/2010 at 11:34am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, someone posted online a listing for a bicycle for sale, and accidentally put my phone number instead of their own. I have received more calls in one day than I have from friends and family in a week. FML

#14574802
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20133) - you deserved it (2822)

On 01/14/2011 at 3:37am - misc - by wrongnumber (woman) - United States

Today, I came to school really sick because I had to take an important exam. After I finally finished, I accidentally sneezed on my answer sheet right before turning it in. The teacher refused to take it. FML

#14646184
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25961) - you deserved it (3802)

On 01/20/2011 at 12:47am - health - by sickly (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, at work, whilst on hold to an important client, I said to my co-workers "F*cking hell, this woman sounds high as a kite". I heard a cough on the other end of the phone. All calls are recorded. FML

#14729337
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5979) - you deserved it (34890)

On 01/27/2011 at 6:20am - work - by GHTD (man) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, I came down with painful sores in my mouth, just after having gotten over a cold. Apparently I'm allergic to the cough drops I've been eating for the past week to make myself feel better. FML

#15289353
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26381) - you deserved it (3005)

On 03/13/2011 at 12:52am - misc - by Rawrssa (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I uploaded my latest picture onto a photography website. It only got one comment, and even that was from someone advising me to never use the same hideous model ever again. It was a self-portrait. FML

#18054599
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25852) - you deserved it (4155)

On 10/23/2011 at 2:05pm - misc - by fuglyphotographer (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I walked all the way across campus to eat the first meal I've had all day. After waiting for my food in a congested line for 30 minutes, I got to the register to pay. Turns out my wallet was a twenty minute walk away, back in my apartment. FML

#19051047
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21018) - you deserved it (6643)

On 02/11/2012 at 7:53pm - money - by ulring - United States

Today, I was refused employment at a liquor store. Their reason? I'm a regular customer and they're afraid I'll drink all their profits. FML

#20060961
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8689) - you deserved it (17333)

On 09/06/2012 at 8:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I received the "employee of the month" title from the job I was fired from last week. FML

#20059608
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21304) - you deserved it (1466)

On 09/05/2012 at 10:02pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a clown came over for my son's 8th birthday party. There was a moment of silence then laughter as everyone realized the clown and I were wearing the same plaid shirt. FML

#20117322
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21440) - you deserved it (4241)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:24pm - kids - by Randolph (man) - United States (Florida)



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