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Today, while I was taking a shit, a guy went into the next stall and narrated what he was doing in song. I'm still traumatized by his lyrics. FML

#21522585
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19772) - you deserved it (1521)

On 02/03/2016 at 10:13pm - misc - by Lord_Nick (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, we had my grandmother with dementia round for tea. She looked me up and down and said, very matter-of-factly, "Well, with a figure like that, no one will rape you." FML

#21522996
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19434) - you deserved it (1773)

On 02/05/2016 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Sgt_Jackrum (woman) - United Kingdom (Sandwell)

Today, I met up with my 'on again, off again' girlfriend of 4 years that I'm still madly in love with. We've been broken up for a few months and she's been dating someone else. We talked about possibly trying things again. When I got home, I found out she's engaged. FML

#21524584
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17283) - you deserved it (3789)

On 02/09/2016 at 9:29pm - love - by lovehurts - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up next to a beautiful, half-naked brunette in my bed. Two minutes later, my alarm clock woke me up for real. FML

#17
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71420) - you deserved it (19317)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:27am - love - by Jonathan -

Today, my girlfriend came home with new condoms: Manix Endurance containing a numbing gel designed to help me "last longer". FML

#359
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38359) - you deserved it (10969)

On 11/21/2008 at 11:03pm - intimacy - by CoCo - Sent from mobile version

Today, while I was looking for a file on my boyfriend's hard drive, I came across photos of a half-naked woman wearing my clothes, but whose head wasn't really visible. When I demanded an explanation, I realised that it wasn't another girl - it was him. FML

#581
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33914) - you deserved it (3356)

On 12/23/2008 at 11:11pm - love - by Lililaloose - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend tried to clean out the fireplace with a vacuum cleaner, she sucked up a bunch of embers which set the vacuum on fire. After a crying for a bit, she went back to finish cleaning up only to find that some embers she dumped in a bucket melted through and set part of the carpet on fire. FML

#645
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23711) - you deserved it (3687)

On 12/31/2008 at 9:53pm - misc - by blck - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, well, last night, I told my girlfriend that I'm a light sleeper, and that the slightest disturbance will wake me up. As a result, this morning when I looked in the mirror I noticed a bunch of stuff written all over my body, like "You see, you didn't wake up!", "Nor now!". FML

#703
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8901) - you deserved it (30900)

On 01/04/2009 at 10:33pm - love - by titou - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was just taking a wank with my laptop on low battery. Almost finished when my laptop died. FML

#735
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12577) - you deserved it (54422)

On 01/07/2009 at 10:07am - intimacy - by Noname - United Kingdom (Wokingham)

Today, after going to college for 5 years to become an architect I discover my plumber makes more than I do. FML

#761
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23488) - you deserved it (3462)

On 12/30/2008 at 6:16am - work - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, a co-worker asked me if I had a comb he could borrow. I'm bald. FML

#1114
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25055) - you deserved it (2664)

On 01/14/2009 at 10:32am - love - by poisonhand - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML

#1388
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19093) - you deserved it (6356)

On 01/16/2009 at 3:43pm - love - by Noname - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out my boyfriend's mom tried to bribe him with an iPhone to dump me. He accepted. FML

#1705
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34523) - you deserved it (2265)

On 01/19/2009 at 6:12am - love - by f'ed_over - United States (Pennsylvania)



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