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Today, I was singing Alicia Keys in the shower and hitting the insanely high notes. My father ran into the bathroom and threw open the shower door, screaming. He thought I was wailing in pain. FML

#179032
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17876) - you deserved it (43383)

On 03/02/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by legit (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was shopping with my friends and I got asked by a man if I could be in one of his commercials. I obviously said yes without thinking twice. I then found out that he wanted me to be the before picture for an acne control moisturizer. FML

#334298
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59317) - you deserved it (9293)

On 03/15/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by sad45 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I rode in the cab on the way back to my dorm from the airport. The taxi driver was on the phone and not really paying attention. I paid him and got out of the cab, but he drove away before I could get my luggage out of the trunk. FML

#355995
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70891) - you deserved it (5025)

On 03/15/2009 at 8:49pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, was my senior prom. I've had a crush on my date for months, but after many attempts at grinding with him and sexy seduction, he rejected me saying he was a good Catholic boy. I later found out that not only is he in touch with his religion, but intimately in touch with other boys. FML

#2871893
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47341) - you deserved it (6792)

On 06/13/2009 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by failatboys (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that the noise I thought was a mouse in my room was a water bottle shaking when my refrigerator turned on. I stayed up till 4am looking for a mouse that didn't exist. FML

#1351662
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18200) - you deserved it (42062)

On 04/26/2009 at 11:13am - animals - by alikat (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I work for the local fire department. I had a long call and I was hot and sweaty. I decided to skinny dip in my pool because it was still dark out. Everything went great untill my flood light went on and my dad ran out with a bat. I got smacked in the side with a baseball bat. FML

#1169437
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40591) - you deserved it (6153)

On 04/20/2009 at 8:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, in my class I was nominated for the guy with the worst hairdo. I don't know what is worse, the fact that I was nominated or the fact that I felt let down when I did not win. FML

#1744695
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40971) - you deserved it (7331)

On 05/08/2009 at 7:20am - misc - by GK (man) - Australia

Today, I had to give a speech on stage at a local preschool about fire safety. I'm 32 years old and passed out on stage because I felt extremely nervous and intimitated by a group of 4 year olds. FML

#35636
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38194) - you deserved it (7681)

On 02/13/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by buster (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I talked to my boss about the fact that I have been diagnosed as bipolar and I am having a really hard time with it. He told me to look on the bright side, now that I'm crazy I will never have to do Jury Duty. FML

#4725
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25543) - you deserved it (3557)

On 02/01/2009 at 1:08pm - health - by crazymuch - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had sex for the first time with a guy. After he passionately made love to me, I turned to him and said "you smell really good." He turned to me and said "You don't." FML

#59427
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49020) - you deserved it (12078)

On 02/17/2009 at 3:10am - intimacy - by pixie (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, before a big formal banquet, I went tanning because I wanted to look good in my cocktail dress. I got out of the tanning bed only to realize that I had left my socks on. FML

#109739
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9642) - you deserved it (50261)

On 02/22/2009 at 11:09pm - misc - by Sh.H (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my sister asked if she could look through my closet to find something to wear. She is 6 months pregnant. FML

#79349
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42042) - you deserved it (7942)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:11pm - health - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a customer that I've been waiting on for years came into the restaurant after a long absence. I said to him, "Hey man, it looks like you lost a lot of weight! How'd you do it?" He replied, "I got cancer." FML

#131042
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55434) - you deserved it (9314)

On 02/25/2009 at 2:25am - work - by yawho (woman) - Japan (Tokyo)



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