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Today, my daughter was going to Bulk Barn so I asked her to pick me up something to snack on. When she got home, she brought over a bag and without listening to her explain what it was, I began eating it. She looked at me confused, then began laughing. It was a dog treat. FML

#21256734
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20560) - you deserved it (26374)

On 09/12/2014 at 1:50am - misc - by oops... - Canada (Alberta)

Today, it's been two months since I started a three-year contract at a new job. So far, 5 people have resigned. Pretty sure I've joined a sinking ship. FML

#21264311
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30429) - you deserved it (2602)

On 09/24/2014 at 3:15am - work - by SinkingShip (woman) - South Africa

Today, after waiting well over a month for a work visa in Germany that should only have taken 3 weeks to come through, I finally received my long-awaited answer. Unfortunately, that answer was "We lost your paperwork." FML

#21264505
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33250) - you deserved it (2142)

On 09/24/2014 at 1:17pm - work - by AdriftInTheSeaOfPaperwork (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I realized why the lady I had complimented the night before on Halloween about her amazing one-armed costume, looked so hurt. She is literally missing an arm. I'm an asshole. FML

#21289586
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34001) - you deserved it (12928)

On 11/01/2014 at 8:58am - misc - by That Guy - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home after doing some Black Friday shopping for Christmas presents. I told my husband I got the must-have toy our daughter has been dying for. As soon as I said it, I heard squealing and turned around to see her standing right behind me. There goes the surprise. FML

#21307526
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29060) - you deserved it (11901)

On 11/28/2014 at 1:07pm - kids - by Ruinedchristmas (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML

#21279992
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29069) - you deserved it (3081)

On 10/17/2014 at 6:30pm - kids - by KayyElOh94 - United States

Today, near the end end of my shift as a bartender, a drunk man stumbled into my bar, got upset because I refused to serve him, puked into my tip jar, then offered me half a pack of cigarettes in exchange for sex. FML

#21281851
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30972) - you deserved it (2089)

On 10/20/2014 at 5:04pm - work - by Bartender - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my son gave me a bottle of shampoo for my birthday. I'm as bald as a coot. FML

#21282364
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30084) - you deserved it (2878)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:41am - kids - by Bald (man) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, my boyfriend lied about having herpes, and used it as an excuse to dump me. FML

#21290234
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30753) - you deserved it (2692)

On 11/02/2014 at 1:30am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I watched my co-worker throw the mother of all temper tantrums. He's a radio personality, and just learned that he's not famous enough to use the "Don't you know who I am?" line to get out of a traffic ticket. FML

#21286268
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29898) - you deserved it (2627)

On 10/27/2014 at 12:25pm - work - by Radio GaGa (man) - Canada

Today, I realized that I ran out of deodorant. On top of that, I was late to work so I had to run, making me all sweaty and smelly. To cover it up, I used the air-freshener in the toilet at work. Everyone recognized the "Lemon Tree" scent and now all of my colleagues think I'm a cheap bastard. FML

#21302617
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27042) - you deserved it (5895)

On 11/20/2014 at 6:32am - health - by LemonTree (man) - Hungary

Today, a cop car was tailing me. I was scared, and trying to avoid any tickets, I drove straight through a huge pothole rather than swerving to avoid it. The cop pulled me over and insisted I was intoxicated, because "anybody in their right mind would've dodged that pothole." FML

#21302094
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31577) - you deserved it (6373)

On 11/19/2014 at 1:44pm - misc - by limpdick9 - United States (California)

Today, I woke up with a swollen lump on my throat. It's extremely painful. My dad named it Gretchen and now talks about it as if it's a person. FML

#21311698
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27841) - you deserved it (2387)

On 12/04/2014 at 10:29pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)



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