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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I put on the same jeans that I had left in a bundle in my bedroom the day before. A few hours later, my boxer shorts decided to make their spectacular reappearance trick at the bottom of my leg in the middle of one of my meetings. FML

#316
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18850) - you deserved it (9713)

On 11/17/2008 at 12:04am - work - by Tomtom - Sent from mobile version

Today, a driver stole the parking space I was about to pull into. I politely asked him to move. He had a go at me, so I kick his car twice, in front of a few witnesses. The car is fine. I ripped two ligaments in my foot and I'll have a cast for a month. FML

#507
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6657) - you deserved it (34959)

On 12/13/2008 at 7:06am - misc - by Kikinovak - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got fed up with my neighbor who has been coughing, night and day, for six months. I rang at her door to tell her about several remedies I know of to help, so I could sleep. I thus found out she has lung cancer. FML

#538
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12000) - you deserved it (21019)

On 12/17/2008 at 10:38pm - misc - by kisyfrot - Sent from mobile version

Today, I'm 65 years old, and I've been given a bottle of wine produced in the year I was born. The wine tastes foul; not a good omen. FML

#563
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19486) - you deserved it (2358)

On 12/21/2008 at 7:14am - misc - by Phil - Sent from mobile version

Today, feeling romantic and overwhelmed with love, I told my fiancée: "I don't know what I'd do without you." She replied: "Well, you'd wank". FML

#591
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22715) - you deserved it (5408)

On 12/25/2008 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Nicos - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend left a message on my phone. It was just the sounds of her having sex with somebody. FML

#766
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48316) - you deserved it (2443)

On 12/31/2008 at 6:41pm - intimacy - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found a deodorant spray underneath the counter of the snack place I work in, so give it a try to see what it smells like. It's currently the high season, and so I have quite a few clients standing in line in front of me, but it seems they'll now have to wait a couple of days for the restaurant to have all the remnants of the CS gas spray cleaned up. FML

#956
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5403) - you deserved it (18142)

On 01/11/2009 at 6:14am - work - by Xav_Cad - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, I was masturbating lying on the lower bed of my brother's and my bunk beds. I finished jacking off and tried to get up to clean myself I hit my head on metal panel of the upper bed and passed out. Later woke up in my bed... found out my parents came home and saw me passed out naked holding a porn mag. FML

#2357
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14704) - you deserved it (41735)

On 01/23/2009 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by killmyself - United States (California)

Today, I brought a girl home from the bar. After sleeping together, she drunkenly stumbles to the bathroom to wash up. On her way back, she accidentally walks into my parents' room, turns on the lights and asks where her clothes are before figuring it out. FML

#2426
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6792) - you deserved it (28333)

On 01/24/2009 at 11:07am - love - by Jebus - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML

#2777
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19745) - you deserved it (24818)

On 01/27/2009 at 6:22am - intimacy - by Noname - United States (Texas)

Today, I was woken up by my roommates cat meowing so loudly at her door, wanting in. Suddenly it stopped. I was just falling back into sleep when I rolled over and the cat was right there beside my head. Meowing. FML

#3778
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17748) - you deserved it (2476)

On 01/30/2009 at 1:18pm - animals - by Noname - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother called to say that my 11 year old nephew found my secret stash of nipple tassles, furry hand cuffs, and a bottle of lube. He doesn't want to visit me anymore. FML

#5874
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10326) - you deserved it (27750)

On 02/03/2009 at 1:51am - kids - by peneloperigby (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, my boyfriend of four months broke up with me via text message. He spelled my name wrong. FML

#54894
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46682) - you deserved it (3632)

On 02/16/2009 at 6:01pm - love - by tacky_unrefined (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)



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