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Today, when I left the restaurant, the very handsome waiter whom I had been trying to tune all night says to me, in front of everyone "But why did you write your number on the table with hearts next to it? You know, I won't call you!" FML

#504
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21449) - you deserved it (6095)

On 12/12/2008 at 11:53pm - misc - by Peel - Sent from mobile version

Today, I fell asleep on the train, totally wiped out after last night's party, which involved lots of booze and spicy Indian food. I wake up and notice a small boy staring at me, so I smiled at him. He turned to his father and said, "Daddy, the farting man has just woken up." FML

#947
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19885) - you deserved it (7945)

On 01/10/2009 at 9:11pm - kids - by mark - Sent from mobile version

Today, I made fun of my friend when she tripped over the curb. I said, loudly, "Haha, you can't even walk." I then notice the man in the wheelchair a few feet ahead of us. FML

#2244
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7401) - you deserved it (26169)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:22pm - misc - by william - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got on Facebook and realized the only two friend requests I've had in 2 months are both from my parents. FML

#22156
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31180) - you deserved it (4871)

On 02/10/2009 at 8:22pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend told me he was going to take me out somewhere special, so I called in sick for work. Turns out he had made reservations for the restaurant I worked at. FML

#24997
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32641) - you deserved it (7695)

On 02/11/2009 at 11:51am - misc - by seriously?! (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I crashed into a ditch on my way home from work. I had to walk 2 miles in -25 below zero weather before I could pick up a cell phone signal to call a tow truck. When I got back to my car, a cop was waiting for me with a ticket for leaving the scene of an accident. FML

#1542
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22079) - you deserved it (1732)

On 01/18/2009 at 5:29am - misc - by dirk855 - United States (Michigan)

Today, in basketball practice my coach was putting is in teams to run drills. He points to me and says, "You, go babysit my son by the stage." FML

#20586
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26407) - you deserved it (2488)

On 02/10/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by nj (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, me and my boyfriend were hooking up while watching a movie. Just as I was getting really into it, he told me to move my head. He couldn't see the television. FML

#71498
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33303) - you deserved it (5290)

On 02/18/2009 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by happyasaclam (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was watching TV when the Jim Beam commercial came on with the hot girl saying how she likes her men fat and hairy. My mom walked in and said, "See honey, you still have a chance." FML

#54355
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37274) - you deserved it (4401)

On 02/16/2009 at 4:45pm - misc - by LonelyInLA (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got up early and really put some extra effort into my appearance to catch the eye of a cute guy at work. I walked in and the woman that sits in the desk beside me looks over and says, "wow, are you sick? You're not looking too good." FML

#125182
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37367) - you deserved it (4292)

On 02/24/2009 at 6:00pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had a Biochemistry quiz. I studied all night but took a nap to get some rest because my quiz was in the morning. I woke up at 10 feeling very confident. My quiz was at 9. FML

#5841442
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12703) - you deserved it (24809)

On 10/15/2009 at 11:48am - misc - by sleepy (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I met a close friend of my husband for the first time. She told me it was amazing that I agreed to be in an open marriage and asked if sex was weird knowing he'd slept with other women. No, the sex wasn't weird, because we're not in an open marriage. FML

#6067617
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26945) - you deserved it (1990)

On 10/30/2009 at 5:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, the guy I was seeing put candles all over his room to make things romantic. As we were getting it on, a plastic bag caught fire next to the bed. He had the brilliant idea to wave it around to put it out. Burning pieces of plastic landed on my arm. FML

#6045813
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16740) - you deserved it (2740)

On 10/28/2009 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by LadySteph12 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



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