Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I learned that you should always make sure the car is in 'park' before you get it on wildly in it. FML

#6383461
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5478) - you deserved it (24784)

On 11/20/2009 at 7:56pm - intimacy - by Ellen - United States

Today, in a big meeting, my secretary calls me saying that I have an important call waiting. I put the call through. It was my beautician, confirming my appointment to get rid of an ingrown hair. I hurriedly confirm and hang up to see everyone in the room giggling. The speaker phone was on. FML

#6300259
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21500) - you deserved it (6465)

On 11/14/2009 at 12:31pm - misc - by SpeakerPhone (woman) - France (Alsace)

Today, I woke up at 7 am to take my last final. When I got to the parking lot, I realized my car was missing. After speaking to the police for 3 hours, I called my girlfriend to let her know what happened. She then told me I had parked on the street the night before. So much for the 8 am final. FML

#6689873
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6237) - you deserved it (25551)

On 12/10/2009 at 1:34am - misc - by nofinal (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my father went out to get batteries for the remote control helicopter I bought him for Christmas. In his excitement, he backed his truck into my car. FML

#6947126
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20828) - you deserved it (2441)

On 12/25/2009 at 10:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after the two week winter break, I went back to school to find that the bookbag that I'd left in my car was covered in some creepy, pink gooey stuff. Under the freezing conditions, my lotion had exploded all over my notes and bag. FML

#7150726
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8739) - you deserved it (18571)

On 01/04/2010 at 8:02pm - misc - by bandcamp926 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to a nearby nightclub with some friends and the girl I've been flirting for weeks. We were having a good time until this girl and two of her friends got back complaining about some "drunk-old-perverts harassing them". It looks like my dad and his friends are having a good time too. FML

#7284485
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23267) - you deserved it (1847)

On 01/11/2010 at 7:28pm - misc - by hateskool888581 (man) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)

Today, I was caring for a bird that had flown into my window. I thought the poor thing wouldn't make it, when it shit in my hand, flew into my neck, then around my living room for ages before I could manage to get it out of the window. FML

#14209539
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18175) - you deserved it (6705)

On 12/15/2010 at 1:15am - animals - by Olive14 -

Today, my mom and I were escorted out of the KFC because my mom tried to mug and pick a fight with another customer. FML

#14854535
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28565) - you deserved it (3503)

On 02/05/2011 at 4:28pm - misc - by lifesux - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I was going to a talent show. On the way there, my car broke down, I lost my keys and managed to slam my hand in a window. I got there and waited in the theater for an hour before a janitor came by and said, "Show is tomorrow, lady." FML

#17278352
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26398) - you deserved it (8585)

On 07/27/2011 at 9:30am - misc - by lizzie - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was on a train. An elderly woman and her daughter got on, looking for a seat. The daughter suggested the one next to mine. The elderly woman looked at me and said something in Russian. I speak some Russian. She said she didn't want to "sit by the hooker." FML

#20077596
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20425) - you deserved it (3539)

On 09/18/2012 at 10:04am - misc - by dearbailee (woman) - United States

Today, I had an in-depth conversation at work about how technically Luke Skywalker was never a Jedi Master. Highlight of my working day. FML

#20497564
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20229) - you deserved it (5167)

On 02/07/2013 at 9:56pm - work - by djxerxes9000 - Canada

Today, while I was out, I was having a drink with a pretty girl. She started looking at my crotch and said, smiling, "There's something burning down there." I smiled, but she insisted. Ashes had set my trousers on fire. FML

#345
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21990) - you deserved it (4397)

On 11/19/2008 at 11:37pm - misc - by lageste - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to fill up my car. 500 metres before the petrol station, I saw a group of motorcyclists in my rear view mirror. I slowed down and pulled over to let them past. In fact, they were also going to fill up. 35 motorcyclists and 2 petrol pumps. FML

#475
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18921) - you deserved it (6051)

On 12/09/2008 at 2:01am - misc - by gui909 - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: