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Today, I was at a club and caught a cute guy's eye from across the bar. He smiled at me, got up and came over, then said "Oh shit! You looked way hotter from back there. Damn!" and walked away. FML

#21304109
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32857) - you deserved it (3058)

On 11/22/2014 at 8:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had an argument with my boss and tried to text a friend about it. I accidentally texted my boss instead. FML

#21243667
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33710) - you deserved it (23757)

On 08/23/2014 at 8:28am - work - by in big trouble - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to a job interview. It was my last shot of getting a job before my savings run dry. It all went well until I was asked why I wanted to join the company. I got flustered and stuttered, "Because I um, I like money?" The guy gave me the most insincere "We'll be in touch." ever. FML

#21339665
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27113) - you deserved it (8552)

On 01/18/2015 at 4:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I went paintballing with my girlfriend and her family. Her dad ended up shooting me, and I doubled over in pain. I thought that was it, until he stepped back and shot me several more times in the stomach. "Just double-tapping," he smirked. More like quadruple-tapping. FML

#21324616
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26681) - you deserved it (3302)

On 12/26/2014 at 9:58am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I arrived at the salon to get my hair done for prom. The lady at the front desk insisted I didn't have an appointment. After looking back on my recent calls, it turned out I called the wrong number and whatever asshole was on the other line played along. FML

#21424643
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27724) - you deserved it (3551)

On 06/11/2015 at 7:14pm - misc - by Badhairday - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she's afraid of my ex-wife. This is the third one in a row to use that very reason. The judge still won't accept my pleas for a restraining order. FML

#21333809
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35100) - you deserved it (2482)

On 01/09/2015 at 6:43am - love - by swimfaned - United States

Today, my parents continue comparing me to my "perfect" friend. He smokes dope, is a compulsive thief, and has gone to juvie numerous times. I'm passing school with flying colors and have never been in any trouble with the law. Apparently I should be more like him. FML

#21346172
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29136) - you deserved it (2185)

On 01/29/2015 at 12:01pm - misc - by John Doe (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, while walking to work, I sneezed so violently that I slipped on a patch of ice and hit the ground hard, badly spraining my shoulder. I lay there in agony as a pair of bystanders just stood there, laughing their asses off. FML

#21340378
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29200) - you deserved it (2802)

On 01/19/2015 at 5:07pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out how whipped I am when, at the climax of sex, I moaned, "I'm sorry!" FML

#21337152
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29608) - you deserved it (7092)

On 01/14/2015 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by imsorry (man) - United States (California)

Today, at a ski resort, I tried to impress an attractive girl on the slopes and failed, horribly. I ended up with a mild concussion and some serious cuts after tripping, tumbling and hitting my head against the ground. I don't think she was impressed. FML

#21338794
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21630) - you deserved it (9405)

On 01/17/2015 at 8:54am - health - by badluck_jean (man) - France

Today, my dad drove me to the airport. As I got out of the car, he said, "You better pop that zit on your face, security might think it's a bomb". FML

#21406694
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30592) - you deserved it (2792)

On 05/08/2015 at 9:44am - misc - by brittrus - Canada (Ontario)

Today, during work hours, I took time off and discreetly went for an interview for a prospective job at our rival company. As soon as I reached the place, I bumped into my current boss. FML

#21386816
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26105) - you deserved it (7591)

On 04/03/2015 at 12:37am - work - by eaglesmile - India (Maharashtra)

Today, it's been almost two months that I've been taking hair, skin and nails vitamins. The only thing growing noticeably longer, faster, stronger, and healthier are my pubes. I've never sheared a sheep before, but I imagine the maintenance I just did was comparable. FML

#21368822
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26257) - you deserved it (10)

On 03/05/2015 at 6:34pm - health - by bushwhacker (woman) - United States (Kansas)



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